Let The Rain Fall
by LunaKitara
Summary: Bella, looking for away to escape the pain of home, finds herself in the company of bad boy Edward Cullen and his crowd. Edward is known for keeping to himself, with rumors of rampant drug use circling around him. Can they help each other, or will they each just drag the other further down. A/H, Rated MA for Dark Themes, abuse, sexual abuse, drugs, alcohol, etc.
1. Prologue & Chapter 1: The Party

_I hope you all enjoy this new story! Please Review and let me know your thoughts!_

_Disclaimer: SM owns everything, I just mess with her characters._

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**Prologue:**

Let the rain fall. Every drop that shatters on the ground will eventually just join its brethren in the long journey back to the sky. Let the rain fall, for in my life in Forks, the only certainty is that the rain will come. So let the rain fall, and shatter on the ground into a million pieces, so that it may rise again to wash the million sins of today away.

Let the rain fall.

_(A/N: I know this prologue does nothing for the story, honestly, it was just something that came to me when I decided to start writing this story, aka, 5 minutes ago. However, I really like it, and felt it would set the mood nicely. Also, it gave me the title. Enjoy!)  
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**Chapter 1:**

**_BPOV_**

It's getting late, already almost midnight. The moonlight plays peek-a-boo through the ever present heavy clouds of Forks, casting slivers of light in the puddles.

As always, I am just walking, biding my time until I have to go home and face the music. I used to try hard to make my father, Charlie, happy. I would clean all day, and I would have dinner cooked and ready for him the moment he got home from work. However, through the last few years, I learned that he will always find an excuse to not be happy with me, so I stopped trying. Now I spend my life hoping that he didn't stay up to wait for me. I have no friends, and no life, so I just wander around until I am tired, and hope he is asleep when I get there.

I still clean up after him at night, because otherwise my 'home' would be even worse. Besides, it kept me busy, so I could minimize the amount of time I spent 'sleeping'; that is, if you could call what I did sleeping.

I let out a quiet sigh as I made it to my front door. I listened intently for a moment to try and tell if he was awake. The TV was on, but that didn't mean much. He often times fell asleep with it on.

I took a deep breath before I opened the door quietly and walked in. I closed the door behind me, and crept deeper into the house. It was then I heard it. A snore, coming from upstairs.

I let out the breath I was holding, and sighed in relief, before walking to the TV and turning it off. Tonight was a lucky night, Charlie was asleep.

I got onto cleaning, getting rid of all of the empty beer cans and liquor bottles from the day, cleaning spills etc. I then cleaned up his takeout containers.

Once I was done cleaning up and had the laundry going, I went into the fridge, and grabbed the makings for a sandwich.

I generally didn't eat much, because I didn't have time after he left for work in the morning to eat, and get to school on time. Not to mention, he didn't keep much stocked in the kitchen, and if I kept it to one thing a day, I usually would luck out, and have the food last until he thought to get more. So I usually just had something small to eat at night.

By the time Charlie's alarm was blaring for him to wake up, the laundry was done, as well as my homework, and I was sitting in my room, fighting the sleep I knew I needed. My alarm clock would go off in another forty five minutes, and as long as I made it to then, I would be moving around, and that would be enough to keep me awake.

I waited for Charlie to leave for work before I left my room and showered quickly.

Twenty minutes later, I was heading out, my hair still drenched from my shower. I never bothered to dry it, because really? What was the point? I lived in Forks, where it was almost always raining. I wasn't going to waste ten minutes of my day drying my hair just for it to get wet immediately after.

An hour later, I arrived at Forks High School. The parking lot was bustling with students rushing to get inside from the rain. You would think having lived here all their lives, they would be used to it by now.

As I made my way inside, I made my way through the hallways, trying to stay unnoticed. I wasn't very well liked around here. Many of the students had a great love for fucking with me. I can't say I blamed them. That was what I was best for. However, that didn't mean I had to invite it.

"Jess, are you going to that party tonight?! It's supposed to be wild. Crowley is throwing it" I heard from beside me as I grabbed my books from my locker.

"Of course! What else am I going to do on a Friday? I can't wait. Plus, I think Cullen is going to be there. God I would love to get a hold of him." Jessica Stanley gushed to Lauren Mallory, the girl who asked her. Jessica and Lauren were two of the most popular girls in the school. Super slutty, super bitches, with less clothing on than makeup.

"You wish, Jess. He totally like, hates you." She said. "Besides, he is totally bad news anyway. I heard he does like, heroine, and crack and stuff."

"I like a fixer upper. Besides, I am sure he fucks like a rockstar." Jess said.

At that, I gagged a little, and closed my locker, and made my way to my first class, away from the disturbing conversation.

Edward Cullen was a guy that every girl had a thing for, but most would never actually try for. He had his issues. He didn't like anyone, and tended to get into fights. There were a lot of rumors of supposed drug use, though I didn't know how based in truth those were. I didn't really know him personally, but I had a few classes with him—when he actually showed to his classes.

He truly was one of the most beautiful men—on the outside, that I had ever seen. He had an amazing mess of bronze hair, a perfect jaw, a drool inducing body, and the most intense emerald green eyes I had ever seen. However, I also knew not to talk to him. If he didn't like anyone else, I knew he wouldn't like me either. Plus, I had my own reasons for keeping people at arm's length.

As the day went on, I considered the party tonight. I didn't usually go to these parties, because it was filled with people who I didn't like. Not to mention, I never knew when they were. Honestly though, weekends were the worst time for me. I had to go home eventually, and Charlie stayed up later on the weekends. I couldn't avoid him entirely, and so weekends always meant pain. Maybe a party was a perfect way to burn some of the time I would be stuck walking around, or worse—stuck at home with him.

By lunch time, I had decided, that I would go. If nothing else, I could just burn some time, maybe even have fun.

When the bell rang for lunch time to end, I made my way out of the cafeteria, and headed towards my Bio class. I sat down in my lab table, and was surprised to find Edward sitting there as well. He was my lab partner, but he hardly ever showed up to class, so it was odd to see him here, especially on a Friday. I didn't say anything though, as I mentioned before, we didn't talk. We were not friends, even if he did make the scenery significantly nicer. I knew my place.

"Today, you will be doing a lab, determining the phases of Mitosis on the slides. When everyone gets the slides, you can start." Mr. Banner, our teacher explained before going around the room handing out the materials needed. "Nice to see you've joined us for once, Mr. Cullen." The teacher said sarcastically to Edward.

"Always happy to please." He said with a slight smirk as Mr. Banner handed us our slides.

I took the slides, and started doing the assignment, not expecting Edward to help, since I usually was stuck doing it myself anyway.

"You know, I think I should get to have a look too, considering I am being graded for it as well." He said with a smirk at me. I felt my cheeks heat up in response to him talking to me.

"I wasn't aware you really cared about your grades." I said back, letting a small smile flirt at the edges of my lips. "However, if you think you can give it a try, go right on ahead."

He scowls a little at my retort, before taking the microscope and looking. "Metaphase." He said. I took the microscope, and was surprised to find out he was correct. How he ever learned this, I don't know, since I think this is the only time he has actually even been here this week.

Sure enough, by the end, we were both done, and he had actually done his part. To say I was surprised would have been an understatement.

"You going to that lame ass party tonight?" he asked, staring at the clock while tapping his hands.

I was so taken aback by the social question coming from him that it took me a moment to answer. "Y-Yeah. It seems like a mildly more entertaining way to kill boredom than my usual ways." I said.

"Heh. I didn't expect that. I haven't seen you at any of the parties before. I always figured a cop's daughter would be too straight and narrow to go to a party filled with underage drinking." He smirks again, still staring at the clock.

"Wow, assumptions much, Cullen? I haven't gone before because I haven't had the chance. Tonight I have the chance." I said, trying, and probably failing, to play it cool.

"Heh, don't do anything daddy wouldn't want you doing." He grins, finally looking at me, something akin to intrigue in his eyes.

I glared back at him, his words hitting a spot that he would never know he touched on. "I don't particularly care what _Daddy_ wants me to do. I do as I please." I said, spitting the word _daddy_ out like venom. However, it was a complete lie that I did as I pleased. I rarely did what I wanted. What I wanted to do, was to go home every day, do normal stuff, eat full meals, and be safe every night.

"Wow, we have a little rebel in the making, don't we? Well, if you are as badass as you are trying to act like you are, come find me tonight." He said with a smirk, getting up as the bell rang.

I watched him get up, contemplating. I couldn't believe Edward had just asked me to find him at a party tonight. I couldn't believe he had even talked to me to begin with. My mind was blown.

Part of me knew it was probably a bad idea to go to the party, and especially to seek out Edward, which would more than definitely lead to trouble, but a larger part didn't care. I knew what I was getting into, and I had a hard time believing my life could get worse. Maybe some partying would raise it up a notch in the tolerable level.

Once school was over, I trudged home, trying to get there before Charlie. I would need to change if I was going to a party tonight. Not to mention, it probably wasn't a good idea to drink on an empty stomach.

I got home and quickly went up and changed into my nicest clothes, which weren't great, but at least they were in slightly better condition than the rest of my clothes.

I had to put on a belt with the jeans that used to be form fitting. It appears I had lost more weight, but that was inevitable. I barely got in 400 calories a day, if that. I was bound to lose weight between that and all the walking I did.

I paired the jeans with a rolling stones tank top and a zip up hoodie that I left unzipped to cover my bruises, but still show the shirt.

I immediately went downstairs to make myself another sandwich, but realized it wasn't a possibility when I found that the bread and sandwich makings were gone. Charlie must have finished them off this morning.

I sighed and just headed out, so I wouldn't be there when Charlie got home.

I wandered around until it got dark. I figured then the party would be starting, so I headed towards where I knew Tyler Crowley's house was. I hadn't been there before, but in a town this small, pretty much everyone knew where everyone lived.

When I arrived, I knew I had made it to the right destination by the loud rap music emanating from inside, and the massive amount of cars parked outside.

I made way inside. Luckily, it didn't appear as if anyone noticed me come in, which was good, because I wasn't sure I was technically 'invited'. All the students of the school it seemed were all packed in, dancing, making out, and drinking. I immediately made my way towards the kitchen where I guessed the alcohol was, and poured myself a cup of punch which I pounded before pouring myself another. Once I had my second cup ready, I started searching around for Edward, my heart beating from loud music, the proximity of everyone, and the fear of what I was about to get myself into.

After a little while of searching, I spotted a mess of bronze hair down by the entrance to what I assumed was the basement. He looked like he was looking around for someone.

I made my way over, and tapped him hesitantly on the shoulder from behind. He quickly spun around, and gave me a crooked grin. I felt my face flush, that grin was amazing.

"Still up for corrupting the innocent?" I said, quirking an eyebrow at him. I was trying to act cocky, though I my heart was beating a million beats per minute, and my palms were sweating with nerves.

"Heh, I didn't think you would actually show, Swan. Ready when you are." He grins a little, and I nod. He motions then for me to head downstairs, and I hesitantly do.

When I get downstairs, I see a guy from the reservation on LA Push that I knew as Jacob Black. He had long black hair and russet colored skin. He was the son of a man Charlie used to be friends with. Next to him was a Jasper Hale, a man with messy honey blonde hair, and blue eyes, and a 90's grunge look about him. There were also a few other faces I didn't know. One was an Italian looking guy with shoulder length black hair and dark eyes, and one was a guy with long greasy blonde hair in a ponytail and grey eyes. Next to him was a black man with dread locks, and finally, a girl with curly red hair and feral looking green eyes.

As I made my way over to them, some of them regarded me with interest, others with distrust.

"Hey." I said, stuffing my hands in my pockets as nerves got a hold of me.

"What are you doing down here?" The girl with the red hair asked.

"I uh—"

"She's with me." I heard from behind me. Edward had just made it down, before walking around me, and sitting down. He motioned to a seat next to him, and I looked at him, nodding. "This is Bella."

The red haired girl looked at me with disdain before glaring the other way. The man with the long greasy blonde hair hadn't taken his eyes off me since I got down here, an almost hungry look in them.

"What happens down here, stays down here." I heard Jasper say, as he assessed me. "If you aren't cool with that, then you can leave now. If that's fine, then welcome."

"That won't be a problem. I'm fort Nox of shit no one will ever know." I said.

The others regard me with a little less hostility then, before some of them nod.

"Just realize, Bella, that if anyone were to find out of the activities of tonight, we would know exactly who to look for." The Italian man said.

"I promise I won't say a word." I said quietly.

Edward then clears his throat. "Now that we have that settled, lets get to it already." He grins.

Jasper looks at me, then pulls out a bag of weed and rolls a joint. I scoff a little to myself. This is what they are being so secretive about? Fucking Pot? Seriously?

They light up, and pass the joint around. I take a hit when it gets to me, and I end up sputtering and coughing on it. Some of them laugh at me, and I stick my middle finger up at them.

After a few joints have gone around, and we have all had a few drinks, I am feeling pretty damned good. The high mixed with the drunk has the world fuzzy and slightly spinning.

I hear another bag as the Italian one I have come to find is named Marcus pulls out a bag filled with a white powder. I cock my eyebrow at it curiously before glancing at Edward.

He assesses me, and then glances at the bag a moment before shaking his head.

"Next time." Is all he said. Then I realized, he was only going to let me try the pot. He probably thought I was a light weight.

"What is it?" I say quietly to him

"Coke. Next time. I am guessing you have never even smoked pot before. I don't think it's a good idea to mix your first time." He said.

James, the guy with the greasy blonde hair smirks a little. "Why not? I think it will be fun. You wanted to show her a good time, right? This is the best time."

Edward lets out a low growl at him. "I said No, not this time. Jasper, why don't you roll up another joint for Bella, so she has something to do while we have this."

"Sure man", he grins, before shooting me a small smile.

I sighed a little, but took it for what it was. Someone actually looking out for me, for once. It was fucked up that it was people doing drugs who were the first ones to look out for me, but I appreciated it. I immediately felt a certain loyalty.

Hours later, we could hear the music turning off as the house got much quieter. Everyone had sniffed several lines of coke, and some had done some other stuff that I didn't know what it was. Edward and Jasper kept me to liquor and weed though.

"We should head out. Looks like Crowley is closing the party down." Jacob, the guy from the res said.

"Yeah. Bella, you gonna be okay getting home?" he asked, staring at me.

I wasn't sure honestly. I was more drunk than I had ever been, and the world just felt spinny and off kilter. The high just intensified the drunk. However, even if I didn't make it home, honestly I was probably safer wherever I ended up than at home.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." I said, giving him a small smile. "Thanks though."

"Alright. Catch ya Monday." He said before getting up.

Jasper gave me a hug as he got up, and followed Edward out. I blinked, suddenly overwhelmed. It was brief, and purely to make me feel welcome, but it was some of the first positive physical attention I had had in years.

We all filed out after that, and left to go to our respective homes.

I knew from that moment on, that no matter what, I would see them again. I didn't care about the drugs. I wanted the acceptance. They were almost familial. I wanted that. I craved it.

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_So I know there was another story that I promised I was starting on, that I haven't even begun to post yet. I Actually wanted to completely redo what I have already done on that, but for now, things are so chaotic around here, I was craving some uber angst again._

_This Story is going to be a bit of a stretch for me, because I have never written about drug abuse or anything like that. I have done my research on it, but this is a new subject. I also do love me a good Evil Charlie. I don't know why, but it is still one of my favorite things. However, though it is an important plot element, this is not the main plot of this story._

_I look forward to reviews! _

_Also, if anyone wants to beta for me, that would be amazing, because I find sometimes if I sit there and edit a lot, I lose my flow, and it takes me awhile to get it back. Anyone interested, just PM me. ^-^ Have fun!_


	2. Chapter 2: Hot and Cold

_Hey guys! Here is the next chapter! I apologize for any typos or anything! It is now currently 5:45 am, and I have been up since... well... yesterday morning. hahaha. I hope you enjoy! __**Please R&R!**_

_Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight_

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**Chapter 2: Hot and Cold**

_**BPOV**_

I winced as I made my way to school Monday morning. This weekend had been hellish. Ever since I got home from the party, it was like life had been punishing me for having a moment of almost happiness. Charlie had been extra rough with me this weekend, to the point where I was fairly certain my left arm was broken, and that one of my ribs was likely cracked. Not to mention the concussion I am sure he gave me the night before after twisting my ankle and throwing me down the stairs.

It wasn't anything I hadn't lived through before, but it didn't mean that it sucked any less. Plus, he hadn't bothered to get more fucking groceries. I just killed off the last bit of crackers yesterday as a desperate bid to get some calories. Luckily, he was also out of beer as of last night, so he would have to go to the store today.

I made it to school just in time for the bell to ring, and tried to walk as normally as I could to class.

By the time I made it to lunch period, I was not only exhausted, because I was pushing my sleep deprivation to its max, but my blood sugar was probably low from not eating enough. Then add the raging headache, and I was not in a good mood.

"Swan! I see you went to the party Friday! Who told you that you could come?" I heard. I looked up to see Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory standing there looking at me with matching cruel grins.

"Just a friend." I said, smirking as I thought of Edward.

"Since when do _you_ have friends?" Lauren sneered at me.

"Since when did you have the brain capacity to both walk and talk at the same time? Wow… I guess we all learn new things every day." I said, not bothering to keep the snarkiness out of my tone.

She looked pissed, and before I knew what was happening, Lauren was pouring her milk over the top of my head.

"Fucking bitch!" I said, and got up quickly, too quickly. I winced from my ribs, but ignored it, and squared my shoulders. "Get out of here before I pop your implants."

She glared, but walked off in a huff anyway. I sighed and went towards the bathroom, wincing from my various injuries the whole way. I did my best to wash the milk out of my hair before going to biology. This day officially sucked.

I sat down at my lab table, resting my head on my chin, waiting for class to start. I was the first one here, especially since lunch hadn't even ended yet. I just didn't see the point in going back to the cafeteria.

A few minutes later, the classroom filled, and to my surprise, I heard the chair next to me scrape as it was occupied by Edward.

"Wow… Two school days in a row, I think that's a record, Cullen." I said with a small grin.

He just glanced my way, before huffing and turning away with a cold look. He didn't look like he was in a good mood.

"What's up? You look pissed."

"Drop it. " he said, before turning towards the front of the room, and ignoring me.

He spent the rest of class without so much as glancing in my direction.

I didn't know what the hell I had done to him, but this officially was the worst day ever. I didn't know what I was thinking, thinking I had actually made fucking friends. I am so stupid. Why would they want to be friends with me?

Then an idea occurred to me. Was I supposed to sleep with him Friday night? Is that why he let me join them? Was I supposed to accept a ride home with him, and let him have sex with me just because him and his friends smoked me up?

I was suddenly livid. It was the only possible explanation I could come up with, since I hadn't even seen him since then, and he went from nice to an asshole.

However, at the end of class, I didn't even get a chance to confront him before he was out of his seat and gone before everyone else.

The nerve of him! Granted, I didn't know for sure that that was the reason he wasn't talking to me, but I couldn't find any other possible reason for his behavior.

At the end of the day, I knew damned well that I didn't have the strength to walk around for the next several hours, so instead, I just made my way to the part, and curled up on a bench. I rested my head on my knees, and just watched the kids playing, and the traffic passing.

I stayed there well into the night, until no more kids were there, and cars became a rarity.

Finally, when I was pretty sure it was around midnight, I got up slowly, wincing from pain and stiffness, I headed towards my house.

When I got there, I wasn't so lucky. Apparently it was only around ten, and Charlie was still up.

"Look who decided to show up today." He slurred as he stood up, walking over to me. I was dripping wet from the rain, and still pissed. I wasn't in the mood for this shit.

"Charlie, just go to bed. I don't want to deal with you today." I said quietly.

I saw him raise his arm then, and slap me so hard that I felt my neck twist from the force. I winced.

"You don't talk to me like that." He said, before pushing me into the door so hard my head slammed into it. I could feel blood wet my hair. _Great, another fucking concussion._ I thought. I don't know why I wasn't even afraid tonight. I used to be scared of this, until I realized the worst he could do was kill me, and frightening as that was, it oddly did not scare me anymore.

He landed a few more hits before he got bored with it, probably too drunk and tired to properly enjoy himself, especially after getting so much of it out of his system this weekend.

I sighed, and slid down to the floor. I knew logically, that I had to keep moving. With the force that went into the hit to my head, I knew damn well that I needed to stay awake, though it was proving impossible. If I went another day without sleeping, I knew I would start hallucinating. The tunnel vision was already getting ridiculous.

I forced myself to stand, and leaned against the wall until the spinning stopped, before I left the house again. Fuck homework, and fuck cleaning. Maybe the rain and cold would keep me awake.

I found myself back at the park about an hour later. I was about to sit down on the bench when I heard a familiar laugh from the bushes behind the playground. I started towards the sound, my head spinning a little again. I was fairly sure that it was Jasper I heard. I knew chances are that Friday night was a one time thing, but I couldn't help myself. Today had been about as shitty as shitty could get, and even if Edward suddenly hated me, maybe Jasper still wanted to be my friend, or something close. I would settle for occasional acquaintance.

I made my way over, and stopped when I could see them. It was Jasper, Edward, James, and Victoria.

"H-hey guys. Mind if I join you for a bit?" I asked, grimacing at my stutter. I was freezing, and honestly a little nervous.

Edward looked like he was going to protest, but Jasper just grinned and waved me over. "Hey Bella! Come on over." He said, and I sighed in relief as I sat down in between him and Edward. I didn't really want to sit next to James or Victoria. James kind of made me uncomfortable, and Victoria seemed to dislike me, but kept it to herself.

"What are you doing out here this late? Enjoying the nasty weather?" Jasper asked as he passed me the joint they were smoking.

I took a big puff before responding, not coughing nearly as much this time. "Yeah, thought I would fancy a nice freezing cold shower, and a walk in one. One of the amazing wonders of Forks. Efficiency at its shittiest." I grinned tiredly.

Jasper burst out laughing, even Edward cracked a small grin at it.

"Damn Bella, you look like shit." Edward finally said, catching me by surprise. Didn't he hate me today?

"Gee, thanks. You really know how to flatter a girl. Shitty ass day." I said sarcastically, shooting him a slight glare. He just shrugged before handing me a beer. I guess that was his way of apologizing. I couldn't be picky, if someone was being even a little nice, I was going to take it, even if they were jerks before. "Thanks."

I carefully tried to hold the beer with my broken arm, but winced hard, and dropped the beer as I tried to open it.

Jasper seemed to notice I was having difficulty. He shot me a slightly concerned look before grabbing my beer and opening it for me before handing it back to me. "Thanks Jasper." I said, forcing a grin. I saw Victoria roll her eyes at me.

"Wow, can't even open a beer… how pathetic." She muttered.

Everyone just kind of ignored her comment as we drank and passed around the joint.

After a couple joints and several beers, I was feeling pretty good again. Numb, and almost happy.

"So Bella, Tell us about yourself." Jasper grinned. Edward had been watching me for the past hour, not saying much.

"Um… well… There isn't much to tell. Just kind of a loser. I just kind of hang around, go to school for something to do, walk around forks for something to do, and read." I said. Not much to tell… that was a straight out lie. More like more baggage than an airport terminal and I was the only one allowed to see or touch the bags, so I was left carrying them alone. I wish I could unload some of them, but I knew better.

"Heh, well, we are all losers. Matter of fact, we tend to compete for biggest loser!" Jasper said with a laugh.

"Speak for yourself. I am definitely not a loser, I only hang out with losers." Victoria said with a small grin.

James chuckled, and wrapped his arm around her. "Nah, you are just as much of a loser as the rest of us, you are just a sexy loser." He grins wider as she pushes him away with a scowl.

"So Bella, what _did_ happen? You look pretty banged up." Edward inquires, tilting his head a little, but his eyes were boring into me. I suddenly felt very exposed.

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Fell down the stairs. Super klutz here. Anyone who has seen me in gym can attest to that. It's why I stopped participating." I grinned a little, hoping he wouldn't see through my mostly lie. Luckily, I was a good liar, I had to be.

"I see." He said contemplatively, before sipping at his beer again.

"Bella, we are getting together tomorrow at my place. Parents are going out of town for the rest of the week on a business trip, you should come by." Jasper said, grinning.

"Sure, sounds fun. What time?" I asked, feeling my chest lighten a little. Maybe they were going to let me be their friend.

"Just come by around seven. And no falling down the stairs." He grinned again.

"Ha-Ha." I rolled my eyes. "I'll be there."

We finished the rest of our beers a little while later, and everyone got up to go. I stood slowly, and almost collapsed because of my foot, and the spins from my head, and possibly alcohol too. I felt a strong pair of arms catch me and steady me.

"Gonna make it?" Edward asked lightly, though his eyes looked genuinely worried.

"Yeah, I have done way worse." I grinned weakly, though honestly, the spins were so bad I didn't know if I was going to get home. I knew I couldn't go to bed though, that was for sure.

"How far away do you live?"

"Only about a half an hour walk." I said.

"I'll go with you to make sure you don't break yourself tripping over air." He grins a little, though I felt an undercurrent of tension in that comment.

"Thanks Cullen, though if I trip, I am taking you with me." I said, a little annoyed at being picked on, but kind of liking it too.

Jasper went over and gave Edward a one armed hug before giving me a real hug. "See you tomorrow Bella. Be safe, okay?" he said seriously. I smiled a little, happy at the sincerity in his words.

"Will do, see you tomorrow." I said with a smile.

Edward and I then took off. I did my best to try and walk as normally as possible, though I was limping more from over exerting my ankle and being in rough shape in general.

"Hey Edward, do you have to go home right now?" I asked quietly, trying to think of a way to stay awake.

"Well, soon, Kinda have to show up to school. Gonna get expelled if I keep skipping. So.. sleep is generally preferred for dealing with the pricks there." He said.

"Ahh… So that's why you have actually been in class." I said quietly.

"Why?" he asked as he stuck his hands in his pockets.

"I dunno, I just don't want to go to sleep yet." I Said trying to be honest without being _too_ honest.

"Why is that? You know… sleep will make you heal faster from that fall. Plus, you look tired as hell." He said, feigning nonchalance, but I could tell he actually seemed to care. I figured a little truth might not hurt, considering I already told him I fell down the stairs.

"I kind of hit my head pretty hard when I fell, and I don't want to risk sleeping yet." I said

He stopped in his tracks, and grabbed my arm. I winced hard and stopped.

"Are you fucking stupid?! You can't be fucking drinking if you have a concussion!" he hissed at me.

"Wow, thanks." I said, getting irritated at his tone and 180 to asshole again.

"How bad is it?

I sighed, and turned around, pointing to a spot on my head. A moment later, I felt his hand in my hair feeling the bump. I knew the skin had broken, and that there was blood.  
His hand felt amazing on my skin though, sending small tingles through my scalp.

"Fuck, it's bad. I can't believe you didn't tell us when we started handing you fucking beers." He said.

"Honestly, I didn't think it would be an issue." I said, giving a shiver.

"Fine, I'll stay up with you. Just don't fucking do it again, I don't have time for this shit." He spat.

I couldn't hide the hurt his tone induced. "Wow… Thanks.. but you know what? Never mind. I will find a way to keep myself awake. I am sorry to be such a _burden_. " I said as I pulled away from him. "I think I can walk myself the rest of the way home." I Said

"Fine. Do what you want." He said, before turning away, running his hands through his hair agitatedly.

"Fine, I will." I retorted before making my way back to my house.

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_So what do you guys think?! Edward is confusing, right? I will eventually have a POV with him, I just don't know if it will be the next one or not. I was planning on this story being mostly in Bella's POV. _

_Tell me your thoughts! __**R&R pleaaaaase!**_


	3. Chapter 3: Numb

_So here is the third chapter! I am so thankful to all of you who are taking the time to review my story, and thankful to everyone who has been making my story a favorite! I hope I wont let you down with this story! __**Please R&R!**_

_Disclaimer: SM owns everything._

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**Chapter 3: Numb**

_**BPOV**_

I was beyond ready for a nap, even with the nightmares. I hadn't had had more than a couple 10 minute naps at school in about five days. I had a couple of hours until I had to be at Jasper's house. I was fairly sure it was safe now to go to sleep, since I had stayed up the last few hours last night, and also all throughout school, as nearly impossible as that was.

School was horrible today, made worse by the fact that Edward had gone back to ignoring me entirely. I had only really been talking to him for a few days, but this hot and cold shit was really starting to get on my nerves. One moment he was inviting me to parties, or rather, a party to hang out with him, then he was ignoring me, then he is concerned. Next he is yelling at me, and now he is back to giving me the cold shoulder. I don't know what the hell his problem is, but it's irritating as hell.

I knew the chances are, I would run into him again at Jasper's get together tonight. I wondered which person he would be tonight, or if he would be someone else entirely. I was dreading it, but at the same time, I was already becoming dependant on the idea of 'friends'. They gave me something to look forward to, and almost made me feel like I belonged. I knew it wouldn't last forever, but I wanted to enjoy it while I could.

I made it home, but stopped immediately. The cruiser was there, which meant that Charlie was home early. I guess I wasn't going to catch a nap after all.

I was about to start walking again when the door opened. "Isabella, get inside, Now!" he yelled. I groaned, and just flipped him off, and kept walking. I knew I would pay for it later when I eventually had to go home, but I could put it off.

Charlie looked pissed as he went back inside, slamming the door. I knew he couldn't touch me outside. People could see. As long as I was outside, I was safe from him.

I wandered around for the next few hours until it was time to head to Jasper's house. I was almost there when a shiny silver Volvo pulled over next to me. I curiously glanced through the window to see an irate looking Edward.

He rolled down the window, and looked at me a moment before sighing. "Get in." he said, running a hand through his hair.

I considered just blowing him off after how he treated me, but part of me was curious, and the other part also knew that chances are, we were going to have to get along at Jasper's anyway, so I didn't want to make matters worse.

I climbed into his car carefully. I waited a moment, and then looked at him when he didn't move the car.

"I don't think you should go to Jasper's tonight." He said, his hands clenched on the steering wheel.

"And why is that?

"Because you are obviously still injured, and you just had a concussion. We don't have time to deal with a stupid girl who is going to end up killing herself out of stupidity, or some rebellious stage against daddy." He said, staring straight ahead.

I could feel my cheeks heat in fury. "Who the hell do you think you are? Some rebellious stage? Just for your information, Jasper is the one who invited me, not you. So I am going either way." I said, crossing my arms, and trying my best not to childishly stick my tongue out at him.

"He may have invited you, but I am the one who introduced you to this group. If I say you can't go, then I say you can't go. I'll bring you home." He said, looking more pissed by the second.

"Fuck you Cullen, you have no say over what I can and can't do." I spat before getting out of his car, and slamming the door behind me. I continued right on to Jasper's house.

The nerve of him! To think that he really believes he can tell me what to do! I need this. I am going to start going fucking crazy if I keep on the way I have been. Now that I have tasted this, freedom outside my own mind, I had to have it.

When I got to Jasper's house, Edward was there in front of the door, blocking my path. I tried to move past him, but he just got back in my way.

"Move." I said, putting my hands on my hips, wincing a little from the fractured arm.

"No. Go home Bella, no one wants you here." He said.

I just stood there a moment, my mouth gaping. No one wanted me there? Was Jasper just being nice the day before? That explained it. I knew that people didn't like me, and I wondered why they had let me in. But since they had decided I wasn't good enough—there was no point.

I held together my emotions and pride as I glared at Edward. "Fuck you." I said, my voice coming out weaker than I intended, before I turned around.

"Wait! Bella!" I heard from behind me as I walked. I kept walking, not wanting to hear whatever else he had to say. I wouldn't allow him to see me crumble. No one had that right.

I went to the park, and curled up on the bench, forcing all emotions back, waiting for the numb state I had lived in to return. I needed to gather myself before going home. I knew Charlie would definitely wait up after the stunt I pulled earlier. I couldn't bring myself to care. He would hurt me, and I would survive, just like I always did. I don't need those guys, and I don't need friends.

Once I had myself straightened out, I headed home to face the music. Waiting around would just procrastinate him, and make him even more pissed, since I was sure he would wait up for me no matter how late I came in tonight.

As soon as I entered my house, I had to dodge as a beer bottle flew right by where my head had been a moment ago, and shattered against the wall next to me.

"You fucking bitch! How DARE you ignore me like that!" he said as he stomped up and grabbed me by the shoulders, shaking me.

"I didn't feel like dealing with you." I muttered, knowing damned well that it would make matters worse, but not really caring.

Next thing I knew, he picked me up and threw me at or glass coffee table. As my back collided with it, the glass shattered, sending sharp shards through my clothes and into my back. I bit back the scream, breathing hard to control myself.

He marched over, and picked me up before throwing me back onto the ground, sending the glass in my back in deeper. I didn't know how big they were, but one felt big.

"You need to learn to respect authority!" he said as he kicked me repeatedly in the gut, surely breaking the already cracked ribs.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, he finished. He walked away, sending one more kick my way before going to his room for the night.

I laid there a moment, trying to breathe through the pain. I knew I needed to get the glass out of my back, and that I needed to bandage it. I knew I was losing a lot of blood, but was having trouble finding the strength to even get up.

Finally after about another ten minutes of just laying there, I summoned the strength to get up. Everything was excruciating. I could barely breathe through the searing pain in my ribs, and my clothes were drenched in my blood.

I slowly made my way to the bathroom, every step a struggle that left me wondering why I tried. I knew I was too much of a fighter to just give up though, and that no matter what, I would always survive, even if I didn't live.

I managed to get to the bathroom, and started patching myself up. I pulled out all of the glass that I could get. The big one was in there deep, but luckily just barely shallow enough to miss anything important. I knew I had lost a lot of blood, but as long as I could stop the bleeding, and was careful with my ribs, I would heal.

I wrapped my wounds, and ribs, trying to keep my ribs from getting more damaged, before I applied bruise ointment to the various bruises all over, and wrapped a few deep glass cuts on my arms and legs. I was a fucking mess.

When I finished putting myself together and changing my cothes, I stood up, avoiding the mirror, and headed downstairs slowly, just grabbing a few slices of bologna out of the fridge and eating that, before heading out. I couldn't afford to be around him at all until I healed a bit. If it meant sleeping outside for awhile, then so be it. I had a better chance of survival that way.

I had thought about running away in the past, but knew if enough time passed before I got home, he would just come grab me, and he would make sure I knew how pissed he was. I had tried once, and only once. I would never do that again unless I somehow knew I could get VERY fucking far away fast as hell.

I made my way back to the park for the third time today. I curled up on the bench, resting my head on my goodish arm. It was fucking freezing out, and pouring, but it was still better. I knew around morning I would have to move to cover so Charlie didn't come across me while he was driving to work. But the bench seemed more comfortable for now than behind the bushes.

I had almost fallen asleep when a pair of highbeams flooded me with light. Much to my chagrin, the car seemed to slow down instead of keep driving.

I opened my eyes, and sighed in defeat. This day couldn't get any fucking worse, could it?

A silver Volvo pulled up next to the sidewalk, and out walks fucking Edward Cullen. He walks over, and stares at me a moment. "What are you doing out here? You should be fucking home or something."

I sat up, trying to look as normal as possible.

"What the hell happened to you?" he asked, suddenly sounding shocked. I guess I wasn't able to fool him this time. I also know if he noticed, based off the injuries, I would not be able to claim an accident of sorts.

"Got jumped." I muttered. That was as close to the truth as he would get.

"What?" he asked, actually sounding shocked. "When?"

"A couple hours ago." I said, not even trying to get up. I could feel the sticky wet covering my back and knew that the glass wound had bled through my bandages.

"What are you doing out here?!" he demanded.

"Passing fucking time. Besides, I thought you wanted nothing to do with me? Leave me the hell alone." I said tiredly, before allowing myself to lay back down, trying to dismiss him.

"Fucking hell. Why must you always be so fucking difficult?!" he spat

"Because of my double X chromosomes. Its an innate trait. Now can you please leave? I am really tired, and just want to take a nap before school." I said quietly, feeling unbelievably tired.

"You are completely and utterly infuriating!" he hissed at me.

"If I am so infuriating, just leave me alone, okay? I don't feel like dealing with any more of your hot and cold bullshit. You made yourself perfectly fucking clear earlier. Now Keep up on your end, and leave me the hell alone." I said tiredly. I just wanted to sleep, this was just getting tedious. It was getting hard enough just to keep my eyes open. I knew I should be worried, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. This may have been one of the worst beating I had ever gotten, but I knew I would survive. That was just my luck.

He stared at me a moment, seemingly seething before he finally wheeled around and walked back to his car. He turns on his car, and starts to pull away from the curve before he slams on his breaks and parks again. He steps out of his car again and walks over to me.

"Can you stand?" He said, looking even more irritated, but oddly, there was something else, defeat maybe?

"Yeah." I said quietly, not sure why he was asking.

"Then let's go."

I sat up quickly, regretting it quickly from the pain. "What? Where?", I ask shocked into alertness.

"My house. You can't stay out here. I don't want to fucking be responsible for you freezing to death out here." He said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "So let's go."

I assess him a moment, trying to weigh my options. He was throwing me a bone, and honestly, staying out here was not a nice option, only barely better than staying at home. Even if he was going to be an asshole, I doubt he would physically harm me.

Slowly, I stood, feeling light headed the moment I am on my feet. He steadies me before sighing. "You have the worst luck I have ever fucking seen." He said quietly.

"Tell me about it." I said as we make our way to his car. He supports most of my weight since I suddenly feel weak enough that its hard to stay up.

He helps me into his car before he gets in himself and drives off.

He drives for awhile before pulling into a long driveway that you can barely see from the road. The driveway seems to go on forever until it finally opens up to a massive white colonial house that is traditional in the front, except one wall is made almost entirely of glass.

"Don't say a word. I don't want anyone to know I brought someone home. My parents are already asleep, and are usually gone before I have to leave for school in the morning."

"Right. Got it." I say before we both get out of the car. He comes over to the other side and helps me inside. When we get inside, he keeps all the lights off. I can barely see a thing, but he seems to know his way even without light. He brings us up a few flight of stairs before he finally opens a door and lets us both in. He closes the door before turning on the light.

I don't know what I expected Edward Cullen's bedroom to look like, but this wasn't it. I expected messy, with death metal posters or something, all dark and brooding. Instead I am met with a huge room that is impeccably neat with a gold carpet and shelves filled with CDs and books surrounding the room. In one corner is a computer desk, and in the center of the room is a king sized bed with a black bedspread accented with gold. Directly across from it against the wall near the door is a black leather sofa. The room is comfortable looking, masculine, yet very neat. Not what I expected at all from Fork's bad boy.

"You can take the bed, I will use the couch." He said, looking extremely uncomfortable, shifting from foot to foot, and running his hands through his hair. It was almost cute. Almost.

"That's not necessary, it's your room. I can take the couch." I said, not wanting to make him even more uncomfortable in his own room.

"Nah, its fine. Just take it before I change my mind." He said, giving me a strained grin.

"Alright." I said before making my way over, but not sitting down, just leaning against the night stand. I didn't want to get his bed all wet, and I was drenched.

"Erm… I don't want to get your bed wet… could I… um.." I could feel my face flush from the thought of borrowing clothes from him.

"Oh.. um.. right… " He went over to his borough and grabbed a T-shirt and some shorts. "there's a bathroom over there." He points to a door on the other side of the bed. I nod slowly, and take the clothes. When I get to his bathroom, I change into the clothes slowly, and pile my wet hair on top of my head into a messy bun. I look in the mirror, avoiding my face. I cringe when I see how covered in bruises and cuts I am. The shirt I had just been wearing was drenched in water, and also blood from the wound on my back bleeding through. I just hoped it would stop bleeding soon, so it wouldn't go through his shirt.

I was also suddenly very aware of how much weight I had lost in the last several months. I knew I always was losing weight, but I tended to avoid mirrors, and hadn't really noticed how my bones seemed to jut, and my usually ivory white skin was now almost grayish. Lovely.

I made my way out of the bathroom slowly. I just hoped he wouldn't notice that some of the bruises were lighter. There were so many though, that I doubted he would be able to tell that they were not all new. Hopefully the getting jumped would have been enough of an excuse, because without a dry hoodie, I couldn't hide all of this.

"Oh my god." He said quietly, staring at me with his mouth open. I felt myself flush in embarrassment as I look away.

"Yeah I know." I said.

"Who did it?" he said, his voice almost a growl.

"I don't really know, just a couple of guys I pissed off. I know, imagine that? Me, pissing someone off?" I say sarcastically.

He growls quietly, eyeing the injuries with what looks like pure anger.

I had to lean against the doorway to the bathroom, my head was starting to get light again, a buzzing in my ears. Some sleep I was sure would clear it up, since it was probably just a lack of sleep and blood loss.

He noticed, and immediately came over, and helped me to his bed. I lay down, curling up before he pulls the covers over me.

"Get some sleep. I'm.. " He glances away.

"You're…?" I question, wondering what he was going to say.

"Nothing, never mind. Just go to sleep. You'll need it."

"Right.. Um.. thanks." I said before closing my eyes, begging for a night without nightmares. I was hoping I would just be too exhausted to get them.

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_Reviews are even better than sleeping in a grouchy Edward's bed in his clothes! __**Please R&R!**__ I will love you forever!_


	4. Chapter 4: Happy

_Thank you guys for sticking with me this far! We are just starting up, and there is a hell of a lot left to go! We are looking at one hell of a story, especially since I just lost my job a couple of weeks ago, and while I wait for one of the bunch of places I applied to to hire me, You guys are stuck with me! Mwahahahaha! Btw, just so you know, I had to do a lot of research for this chapter, I promise, I do not write from experience with this stuff. You will know what I am talking about when you get there._

**Please R&R!**

_Disclaimer: SM owns everything._

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**Chapter 4: Happy**

_**EPOV**_

When morning came, I didn't bother waking her up. I figured she could use the sleep. At least one of us could get some.

I never ended up going to sleep. I had never invited a girl into my room. Hell, I barely even let Jazz in here, and he was my best friend. It was my sanctuary.

I wish I could stay home too, but if I keep skipping, then I will be expelled, and probably have to take the year over in another school.

I wiped my nose to get any remnants off as I put the mirror back in my desk, making sure I left none behind. I would definitely need the pick me up. I was exhausted.

I left a quick note for her, letting her know that I went to school, and to not leave the room until I got back.

I figured I could go check on her during my study hall before lunch time, since it gave me almost two hours between the two of them.

I still couldn't believe I had brought her here. But then again, if I had just fucking left her there, I doubt she would have been okay the next day. She was fucking wrecked. I wanted to pound the fuckers who would do that to a girl. I don't care how annoying a girl is, you never lay your hands on one. If an asshole like me knows that, then there is no excuse for anyone else not knowing it.

Plus, I think another large reason why I brought her, was I knew I carried some of the blame. Had I not been such a dick, then she wouldn't have been out there in the first place to get jumped. I could have just let her hang, and not let her drink, or do anything stronger than pot, but she had fucking pissed me off the day before, and I didn't want to bother with her.

At first, I liked the fact that she didn't take my shit. I was used to everything with a vagina kissing up to me, hoping to get laid, but she had just thrown my shit back in my face that day in Bio. She intrigued me, and that's why I invited her to hang out with me at the party. Jasper seemed to like her, and so did Marcus. James also seemed interested, but I would never let that sleaze be alone with her, if I had anything to do about it. I didn't trust him, but he always had the good shit, and him and his bitch of a girlfriend were friends with Laurent.

As I made it to school, I could feel the coke start to work in my system, and grinned a little. _Way better than coffee._

My first few classes raced by, and soon enough, I was back in my car, speeding back home to check up on Bella. If she was awake, I would bring her home, because honestly, I wasn't comfortable having people in my room, especially when I wasn't there.

When I got there, I headed straight up to my room. When I went inside, she was there, curled up on my bed still, but her eyes open. She looked almost as tired still as when I found her, with heavy circles under her eyes.

"Hey." I said as I walked over to her. "Got my note?"

"Yeah. Sorry about last night." She said as she sat up slowly. "I can go if you want." She said, standing up.

"Um, sure. I can bring you home. Your clothes are dry by the way. I left them in the bathroom for you this morning." I said, shoving my hands in my pockets.

"Ok." She yawns out, walking towards the bathroom. She looked a little unsteady, but not as bad as the night before.

As soon as she was in the bathroom, I set to making the bed. I hated it when my room was even a little messy. It bordered on OCD.

When she got back out, she looked guilty, holding the t-shirt she was wearing a little away from herself.

"What's up?" I asked, wondering if she made a mess of my bathroom or something.

"I'm so sorry… I didn't notice before, because the shirt is black, but I guess a cut I got on my back was still bleeding… and your shirt has blood on it. " She looked away ashamed. At first I felt myself getting irritated, then suddenly the foreign emotion of concern flooded through me instead. She had been bleeding all night? The cut must have been bad.

"Show me." She came over to hand over the shirt slowly, looking even more ashamed. "Not the shirt, the cut. It was bleeding that badly?" I said, and immediately her whole face flushed red, which was kind of adorable.

"It… It's on my back." She said quietly, shifting uncomfortably.

"Okay? If you've been bleeding that much, I want to make sure that I don't need to bring you to the hospital.

"No hospital." She said, before sighing, and turning around. She raised the shirt, letting out a whimper from the pain of the position. I was shocked when I saw the bandage was completely soaked through, and still looked wet.

"Fuck.. " I walked over, and started undoing the bandage as carefully as I could. When I took it off, I saw a ton of cuts, some big, some small. There were small pieces of glass sticking out of some of them still. The biggest one though was deep, and was still bleeding. "I think you're going to need fucking stitches."

"I said no hospital. I just need to wrap it tighter." She said. Then I noticed her ribs. Just like her arms, her whole torso was covered in bruises and cuts, and some of her ribs looked like they were broken, at the wrong angle, plus she was way too skinny. I could see her pelvic bone, spine, and ribs far too clearly. I chose not to say anything though… yet.

"Sit down. You have glass in some of these still." I said, pinching the bridge of my nose before I went to grab a pair of tweezers from my desk. I held them to my lighter for a few seconds to disinfect them before I went over to her. She sat on the floor, so I leaned down behind her. "This is going to hurt." I said, and she simply shrugged a little.

I spent the next ten minutes getting out all the pieces of glass, before I cleaned all of the cuts with hydrogen peroxide, and rewrapped it firmly with some of dad's medical wrapping.

"Thanks." She said after she replaced her shirt and hoodie.

"No problem, just be more fucking careful. You know, avoid stairs, and tripping hazards. And don't fucking go walking around at night. It's not fucking safe for a girl."

She scoffed a little, but nodded. Something in her eyes told me she wasn't going to listen though, but I dropped it, again, for now.

"I still have some time before I have to get back to class. I am gonna grab some takeout from the diner. Do you want to come with me?" I said, remembering the fucking bones jutting out.

She looked completely surprised, but nodded, a hint of a smile playing at her full lips.

"Okay, then we need to get going so I am not late to Bio." He said, pulling his jacket back on.

"Actually, I think I am going to go back to school with you, I feel much better." She said. "Besides, there are only two periods left. It will give me something to do."

"Seriously? You just had the shit beaten out of you, and you have been fucking bleeding all night. I think you should go home and fucking relax for awhile." I said, irritation clear in my voice.

"I'm locked out of my house. I left my keys at home, and Ch- I mean Dad, won't be home until like five. So as I said, it will give me something to do." She said

I sighed, shaking my head. That at least explains why she was outside in the first place last night, and why she didn't want to go home.

"Fine. But take it easy." I said in a disapproving voice before we headed out.

**_BPOV_**

I couldn't believe I had just spent the night, or some of it in Edward's room. I was convinced just yesterday that he hated me, but I guess I was wrong. He really was very confusing.

At least though, I was fairly certain he was buying the excuse of getting jumped. Honestly, I was worried that he wouldn't believe me, considering that this was Forks. The biggest baddest thing in this town was probably it's chief of police, Charlie. Although, no one even knew about him, because he played the part of good cop too well.

I still felt like complete shit, but I was better off than yesterday, and so I knew I would be fine. I would just be avoiding my house like the plague for the next few days.

We drove off to Fork's Diner, where he got two burgers for pickup, and gave me one. We ate them in his car on the way back to school. He didn't say a word in the car though, and the silence was uncomfortable. I wasn't about to complain though. Free food, a warm ride, and a warm safe bed last night. It was more than anyone had done for me, possibly ever.

When we got to school, I stopped into the front office to let them know I was in, and tell them I accidentally overslept because I wasn't feeling so hot. It wasn't really a lie, and I am sure with my freakish pallor right now, they didn't doubt me. Hopefully that meant they wouldn't call Charlie, if they hadn't already.

We made our way into Bio, where we watched a movie. Edward continued being silent, though I got the feeling that other than the first day where he talked to me, that he wasn't really intending on speaking to me in school. I was starting to figure out that if Edward was in a bad mood, like school generally put him in, you didn't try to talk to him. Maybe that was the key to being friends with him, knowing when to keep your mouth shut. Alas, that was not one of my strong suits.

When Bio finished, I went to gym, where I opted to sit out, or at least tried to. Since I couldn't very well say anything about my injuries, I had no choice but to participate when he wouldn't let me sit out, especially since I already used my period as an excuse last week. Luckily, I managed to not hurt myself or anyone else too bad, a small victory.

As I left gym class, I was completely exhausted. I headed out of the building, and was about to leave when I felt my arm being grabbed. I half expected to see Edward there, but was surprised when it was James who had stopped me.

"Something I can help you with, James?" I asked, trying to smile politely, but he kind of scared me for some reason.

"Nah, but I missed you last night. I wanted to show you something cool, something that will take the edge off." He said, grinning a little.

I studied him a moment, assessing his intentions. He hung out with Edward, so chances are, he wasn't all bad. I was fairly sure he meant something stronger than pot, which honestly, I wasn't opposed to. Shit had really started going downhill with home life. Something to take the edge off was sounding more appealing by the second. I figured his reason was to get a new customer hooked, so he would make more money. However, once wouldn't hurt, would it?

"Sure. Count me in." I said, feeling my stomach flip a little.

"Cool, just ride with me. We are all meeting up with Jasper in a few hours, but I can bring you by a little early, so there is no pressure."

I felt relief at the idea that it would be at Jasper's house, which meant that Jasper would be there too.

"Okay, lead the way." I grinned a little.

We made our way to his car, which was a beat up old station wagon from the 80's. He helped me into the passenger seat before he took off. It wasn't long before we made it to Jasper's house. We both got out, and made our way inside. Jasper was waiting for us in the living room.

"Hey guys, you're early." He said. "Sorry we missed you yesterday, Bells." He said, coming over and giving me a warm hug. I smiled a little. I don't know why I believed Edward yesterday when he said no one wanted me here. Jasper seemed to like me just fine.

"Yeah, I thought the little lady could use a little bit of a pick me up before we all start." James says with a grin, eyeing me.

"Yeah, shit, Bella, you kind of look like shit. What happened?" Jasper asked, guiding me over to a comfy looking couch.

I decided to stick with the story I told Edward, since he surely would bring it up anyway. "I just got jumped last night. Not a big deal." I said, trying to sound nonchalant about it.

"What the hell?! Bella, are you okay?! Who did it?!" Jasper asked, looking me over like a worried mom.

` "I'm fine. I am very accident prone, so I am used to having injuries. And no, I don't know who did it. Just some guys."

"Where did it happen?" He asked

Shit, I hadn't thought about a where. Because Edward had never asked. "Um, down near.. the park." I said. Jasper watched me, but something in his eyes told me he didn't believe me. There was no way he would figure out what really happened though. Luckily, he didn't call me out on it."

James then pulled out a baggy filled with white powder. "Anyway, so obviously she can use some cheering up."

Jasper looked at him a moment, then back at me. "James, is that what I think it is?" he asked, looking a little leery.

"Finest smack around." He grinned.

I wasn't sure what smack was, but I could tell by the look on Jasper's face that he wasn't pleased.

"It's harmless if you don't get addicted." James said seriously, watching me.

"Dude, I don't know. She hasn't even had anything else. Don't you think that's a little intense?" Jasper said, disapproval lacing his tone.

"It will be fine. Just don't do it regularly. What do you think, Bella? IT will make you feel really good, like you are swimming in pillows, and super happy and content." James said, a grin on his face.

I looked at him, thinking about it. It was obviously something kind of hardcore, since Jasper was actually protesting, but that sounded amazing. I don't think I even knew what it was like to feel happy, and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted it. Everyone else was happy, why couldn't I be? Even if it was just for a little while? Didn't I pay my dues? I knew chances are it was risky, but what part of my life wasn't? I was no stranger to danger, just this time, it would be my own choice, and may even have a reward.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized I wanted to try it. Even if it was only once.

"Alright, I'm game, but only this once. I don't want to get some sort of addiction problem." I said. James grins before he pulls out a spoon and a lighter. He puts some water on the spoon with the white powder, and then cooks it with his lighter for a few minutes until it turns to all liquid. He then puts some in a syringe, and some in another syringe. He looks over at Jasper, but Jasper just shakes his head. Obviously not one of his drugs of choice.

James then leans over, and gently puts a tourniquet on my upper arm, making my veins push up.

"Do you want me to do it, or do you want to?" James asks me. I am starting to tremble, a little scared, because I am fairly certain that Smack is another name for heroin after seeing him cook it down. Once won't kill me though.

"Bells… you don't have to if you don't want to." Jasper said gently, occasionally shooting James an irritated glower.

"I'm fine, it's only once." I say, then say quieter. "happy sounds too nice to pass up."

James then takes my arm and injects the stuff into my vein. It feels like ice going in, freezing my blood in its tracks.

When James pulls the needle out, he injects the other one into himself.

"James, Edward is going to fucking kill you, you know that, right?" Jasper says with a sigh.

"Don't worry. What he doesn't know won't hurt him. She looks so fucking miserable all the time, thought I could help.

"If anything happens to her, its on you." He says with a sigh.

"Jasper, I'll be fine, really." I smile, anticipating feeling happy.

"Alright, but you can't leave here until you come down, okay?" He says, and I nod.

We sit around and chat for a little while, and after a little while, I realize I am grinning like an idiot. I am just… Happy. Euphoric even. I don't even necessarily have a reason, I just feel happy, safe, warm. It's like I am in a safe little bubble with my new friends, where for once, nothing can touch me, no one can hurt me, no one can damage me. It is so amazing, I start feeling tears prickle my eyes as I start to cry. It is the first time I have allowed myself to cry in years, and it's out of pure joy.

"Thank you, so much. I love you guys, this is just.. amazing." I stand up, barely even feeling the pain of my body as I spread my arms wide. I barely even notice the guys watching me. I am floating through my mind, free as a bird in the sky, with nothing holding me down for once. I have never felt like this before, just so happy, and content.

I look over when I hear a muted soft chuckle. James is laughing. I quirk my eyebrow at him.

"Glad you like it." He says.

I glance over at Jasper, and he is studying me with an intense look. Why isn't he as happy as we are? He needs to feel happy. Jasper is so nice, and deserves to feel like this too.

"Jazzy… you should try some, its amazing."

"No, I'm okay. It's not really my thing." He said quietly. He shot another look to James.

In the distance, I hear the sound of a door opening, and slowly walk in that direction, feeling drawn there. Then I see Edward, and my smile gets even bigger.

"Edward." I sigh in contentment as I walk over to him and hug him. The first person who has ever taken care of me. I don't understand why I could have possibly ever been angry with him. He helped me last night, and took care of me, like no one else has since my mother… It's best not to think about her right now, since I am so happy. I don't want to ruin it.

"Bella?" I hear him ask, looking confused and a little bewildered, just standing there as I hug him, not hugging me back.

I notice Jasper come over, and whisper in Edward's ear. As he speaks, I notice Edward looks less happy by the second, so I hug him tighter, hoping to squeeze the negativity right out. He deserves to be happy too.

He wraps one arm around my back protectively, and I smile, leaning my head on his chest. He smells so good.

Edward then sighs, and gently peels me away from him, and looks directly into my eyes. "Bella, I want you to go with Jasper for a little while. He wants to watch a movie, and would really love some company. Would you mind?" he says, using a gentle voice I have never heard him use.

I don't want to leave him, but I nod, because he made it seem like Jasper needs me, and I don't want to let any of my new friends down, because I love them so much.

"Alright Edward."

Edward nods, and looks at Jasper seriously, before Jasper takes my hand and leads me to another room with a large TV.

He puts in a movie, and I curl up, feeling like I am in a fluffy cocoon.

Some time into the movie, James bursts into the room, his nose bleeding and his eye black. "I am going to fucking kill you Hale! You fucking told him!" He dives right at us, and suddenly, I am terrified. I run to the corner of the room as fear fills me. Edward, Laurent and Marcus then run in, and grab James, pulling him away. I hear shouting from the hallway afterwards, and then the sound of a car driving off.

Edward walks over to me and kneels in front of me. "Are you okay?" He says, looking stressed. I nod slowly, before suddenly, I feel nauseous. I get up, and run past him towards the bathroom I remember passing. I make it just in time to empty out the contents of my stomach until I am dry heaving. A few minutes later, a strong pair of arms scoops me off the floor and washes my face off. I am suddenly just sleepy, and I lean my face against the soft fabric of his shirt, and recognize the smell. It's Edward. I open my eyes and look up at him, but he isn't looking at me, he's glaring at Jasper, though I don't know why. This night has been so confusing.

He carries me back to the room with the TV, and sits down with me still in his arms. He lays me over his lap, holding me to him protectively.

Sometime after that I fall asleep into a nice dreamless sleep, the first in years.

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_Thank you guys so much for reading! __**Please R&R!**__ it makes my day! Pretty pretty please with cherries on top! (and don't hate me pleaaase for what I just did to Bella.)_


	5. Chapter 5: Distance

_Hey, Welcome to the next chapter! This is going to be a really intense one, and pivotal to the storyline. I really hope you guys enjoy this! It's a straight out emotional rollercoaster! Mwahahaha._

_Please __**R&R!**_

_Disclaimer: SM owns everything._

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**Chapter 5: Distance**

_**BPOV**_

I woke up in an unfamiliar room with a white bedspread, and matching curtains. I didn't remember this room, and immediately I started to panic. I sat up quickly, wincing a little from the slight headache I had.

A moment later, there was a knock on the door, and I looked over. Edward came in a moment later with a glass of orange juice and a sandwich.

"You're awake." He said, watching me intently.

"Yeah.. Just woke up." I sighed, suddenly remember earlier the day before, or the same day, I wasn't sure. I took a peek at the clock on the nightstand. It was about 3 am, so yesterday. I felt so amazing, for the first time. Even the injuries Charlie gave me weren't bothering me. I was happy, for the first time in a very long time.

"Do you know what James gave you yesterday?" He asks as he sat down, handing me the juice and sandwich. I take a sip of the juice to sooth my parched throat and nod.

"He called it smack. I think… it was Heroin, based off of the syringe." I said, thinking back. I felt so empty suddenly, after the happiness I had felt. I wish I could go back, but I know I said I would only do it the once.

"Yeah. Listen, Bella." He sighed.

I looked at him, and I could just tell whatever he was going to say wouldn't be good.

"I don't think it was very smart of you to take that, especially since you are so inexperienced. Plus, you took it from James of all people. Never trust James."

"But he's your friend. I figured that meant he was okay." I said, putting down the juice.

"You shouldn't be hanging around with any of us. It's not safe. I don't know why I showed you this world at all, but I regret it. I am sorry, but I don't want to ruin your life. Mine is already fucked enough, I don't want to drag you down with me." He said sighing. I noticed his hands were shaking a little, and he had beads of sweat running down his forehead, even though it wasn't hot.

"Are you okay? You're shaking." I asked quietly.

"This is exactly what I am talking about. We do serious shit, not like the stuff I was letting you do, pot and beer. I wish I had never gotten into it sometimes, but now I can't stop. " he said, his voice tense.

"You can if you want to." I said quietly, staring at my hands.

"Maybe I don't want to." He said quietly.

"Maybe I don't want to leave your world so soon." I said, feeling the lump forming in my throat. I swallow thickly, refusing to cry. I knew what was happening.

"I am not giving you a choice. From now on, after I drop you off back home, you aren't allowed to set foot here. I don't want you talking to James, or Marcus. You need to stay away from us, and I will make sure everyone stays away from you. A clean break before you can get in deeper. You will thank me some day." He said.

I stayed quiet, knowing nothing I could say would change his mind right now, and not trusting myself to speak.

"Eat your sandwich, and I'll bring you home." He said before leaving.

I just stared at the sandwich, suddenly having no appetite. I drank another sip of the juice before I stood up, and made my way out of the house. I didn't want his ride. I didn't want this. It's like he gave me a glimmer of something nice, friends, a place to belong, and the smallest taste of happiness, just to rip it away. After last night, and the night before with Edward, I didn't know if I could go back to the way things were before.

I knew he was doing it to try and protect me, but that made me even more upset. It meant I couldn't hate him for it. I knew it was a dangerous world, and I knew what I was getting myself into, but it was preferable to the hell of my normal life.

It was about four in the morning when I made it back home. I had about an hour and a half until Charlie woke up, so I slowly cleaned up the mess before retreating to my room. There, I did my homework until Charlie had left for work.

When I got to school, I saw Jasper by his car, and started heading his way, but the moment he saw me, him and some small girl with spiky black hair quickly retreated inside. I took a deep breath to keep the emotions in check. Numb, Numb, Numb. I just want to go back to being numb.

The rest of the day went like this. I would try to approach anyone from the circle who went to our school, Jasper, Laurent, Edward, Marcus, but they all ignored me, or avoided me all together. I didn't see James at all. Edward completely ignored me in Bio, not even looking in my direction once.

By the end of the day, I felt sufficiently horrible. He meant it. They wouldn't let me in, they wouldn't even acknowledge my presence.

The next couple months went the same way. Eventually, I stopped trying, and just retreated into myself. Luckily, Charlie hadn't been as bad, allowing my injuries to heal. He was starting to get rougher again though. I think he knew that if he went too hard before, he risked killing me, and going without his favorite punching bag, and a messy clean up.

Winter had set in, and it was the middle of the holiday vacation, with today being Christmas. Not that Christmas meant a damned thing to me. I wasn't magically going to have a wonderful Christmas with Charlie. If anything, he was usually worse, because I think he missed mom more on this day, like I did.

Since he had been getting bad again, I had been spending even less time at home, opting to only go home when I absolutely had to sleep, ever few days, and just staying outside the rest of the time.

I still hadn't been able to get that state of numb back. It seemed like every day, it hurt more, knowing what I missed out on, all because I was stupid enough to try something they didn't think I was ready for. I know I said I would only do it the once, but at this point, I would be more than willing to do it again, just so I could feel anything other than what I feel every minute of every day.

That's when I saw him. James was driving his station wagon down the road. I hadn't seen him in school, and found out later that it was because he didn't go there, he had made a special trip that day.

I got up, and started running as fast as I could after him. Just when I thought I had lost him, he put on his brakes, an turned around, driving over to me.

"James. How have you been?" I said, nervously wiping my freezing hands on my soaked jeans. Maybe this could be my Christmas. Maybe he would let me get happy again.

"Hey Bella, long time no see. Sorry about Ed, he is kind of a jackass. Don't tell him I am even talking to you." He said.

"I won't. Hey, do you have any more of that stuff? From last time?" I asked, hoping he did, and that he would give me something.

He studied me a moment. "Wow, that bad, huh? Have you had it since?"

I shook my head quickly.

"Alright. I will hook you up. As a Christmas present. If you like it, feel free to come to me, I will give you good rates after this." He said, grinning, and tossing me a brown bag. "There's one baggy in there that is good for a few highs, and a couple of needles. You need to mix .75 milliliters of water with it on the spoon when you cook it, just like I did. This one is a freebie. After this, I will charge you about 50$ for that amount, and that's cheap."

I nod quietly, taking note of his directions. "Thanks James. Maybe this will make things a little better."

"It always does." He grins.

He drives off after, and I quietly put the stuff in the inside pocket of my jacket, and head home to grab supplies, a lighter, spoon, water.

When I get there, Charlie is sitting in his recliner drinking.

"Well, look who is actually fucking home." He says, not moving to get up immediately.

I cross my fingers, hoping maybe he will leave me alone today. Christmas was already one of the worst days, and I was desperate to just get happy.

Sure enough though, he gets up, and starts towards me. I close my eyes, just wanting to fast forward past this part. He hits me a few times, throwing me against the wall, but his heart doesn't seem quite into it. After a few more rough knees to the gut, he presses me against the wall.

"Open your eyes." He said, and I comply, staring down at the floor.

"Look at me!" He barks, and I do, avoiding his eyes.

"You look just like Renee… not as pretty, but so similar." He says in an odd tone that makes my skin crawl. He runs his hand down my cheek, before he grabs my breast roughly through my clothes. I kick him then, and slide out from his grasp.

"How fucking dare you, Renee!" He screams, and grabs me by my hair, and hits me hard in the face, my lip splitting. He then tries to pin me down on the floor, his hand struggling to try and get my pants down. I struggle harder than I ever have.

"I am not Renee!" I scream, struggling.

Finally, he stops, and just kicks me a few times, before walking away. "This isn't over." He said with menace.

I quickly run out of the house, having completely forgotten about the supplies I needed. My whole body hurts, but I am in shock at what just happened. He just tried to rape me, his daughter. I skin felt disgusting, and I was even more afraid to go home.

I just kept running, until I eventually found myself in front of a familiar house. Jasper's house. I could see the silver Volvo there, along with several other cars. I was about to knock on the door when I heard the laughter erupt from behind the door. I dropped my hand slowly, knowing I couldn't show up after months of being ignored, especially not during their happy time.

Defeated, I walked a little ways away, and just sat down against a tree near his house, curling up, and for once, letting the sobs I refused to let loose out. They wracked my body for what seemed like hours, until I couldn't breathe. I would give anything to fucking feel happy, or even okay.

I don't know how long I sat there, but when a pair of headlights stopped beside me, I knew it was late at night, so it must have been hours.

I didn't look up as I heard the door of a car open, and footsteps crunching in the snow until the person was standing right in front of me.

"What are you doing here? Are you trying to die of hypothermia?" I heard a from a velvety voice.

I looked up, to see Edward standing in front of me, looking at me for the first time in months.

I wiped my eyes, and tried to play off like I hadn't just been crying my eyes out for hours, but knew it was useless. "Thought the snow would be refreshing." I rasped.

"I thought you were going to stay away." He said, his eyes still on me.

His nonchalance, and the one sentence is what broke me. Next moment I was standing up, slamming my fists on his chest. "You asshole! Don't! Don't even start!" I screamed, hitting him. He looked taken aback, and kept trying to stop me, but I just kept hitting him over and over again.

"You can't just go in, and make everything okay, just to rip it away! You can't do that! You fucked me over, knowing that having something worth living for was so close!" I screamed at him, tears flowing down my cheeks as I kept hitting him.

"If you didn't want me doing the shit you guys do, you could have just let me be there! Anything but this, Anything, I would rather.." I kept hitting him until he grabbed my arms tightly, and pinned them to my sides in a hug, holding me to him so I couldn't keep hitting him. I dissolved into tears as my legs buckled. A moment later he lowered us both down onto the snowy ground, holding me. I knew that as soon as it ended, he would be gone, and I would be alone again. I hated him, but I didn't want this moment to end. I craved it more than oxygen, someone to keep me together. Even for a second, someone making me feel like it could be okay, or that I am okay, no matter how easily the illusion could be shattered.

I don't know how long we sat like that, but eventually he spoke. "If I let go of you, will you start hitting me again?" He asks gently.

I weakly shake my head, completely drained, It wasn't until he let go how much I realized I was freezing. Tremors wracked my body, and he sighed.

"Come on, get in, I'll take you home."

I stood up quickly, shivering. "No. I'm not going home."

"Its Christmas, you should be with your dad." He said, trying to reason with me.

"No. I am not going home. You can bring me anywhere you want, even the town dump for all I care, just not home. Or no where, I am fine walking." I said quietly, shivering hard.

He studies me a moment, then reaches over and touches my busted lip. Something seems to click in his eyes, but he doesn't say anything.

"I'll bring you to my house, though everyone is probably asleep." He said quietly.

I thought about it for a moment. I knew this wouldn't last. The question was should I take it now, and be okay for just a little while just to be shattered more after? Or should I just walk away now.

I knew I couldn't do that the moment the thought crossed my mind, and I nodded slowly.

He sighs, and nods, helping me into his car.

Once he gets in, he blasts the heat, and gets going. We sit in complete silence as we drive to his house.

Once we get there, we both get out, and I follow him into his house, tremors still quaking through me from the cold, I had lost so much weight in the past few months from eating even less than usual. I had to force myself to eat most of the time, just because I knew I needed it to survive, but even then, I hardly ever even finished half of a sandwich a day. I knew I was going to end up killing myself this way, but I couldn't find it in myself to really care.

I follow him up to his room, where he lets me in. He immediately pulls some sweatpants, a t-shirt and a hoodie out of his drawer and tosses them to me.

"Can I use your shower…?" I ask hesitantly, wanting to make the skin crawling sensation from Charlie go away.

"Sure, go ahead." He said, sitting down on his sofa.

I nod, and go in. I turn the water as hot as it will go, and stand at it, scrubbing until my skin is raw.

When I get out, I have warmed up, but still feel gross. I put on the clothes, which are huge on me. Luckily the sweat pants have a drawstring, or else there would be no way they would stay on.

I walk out of the shower, shivering from the feel of the air out of the steamy bathroom.

"Better?" He inquires, watching me carefully.

I nod, and go over to sit next to him hesitantly.

"Did I hurt you?" I ask, remorse thick in my voice.

"Nah… you have about as much force as an angry kitten. Though, I don't want you to do that again, hitting isn't cool with me." He said.

I nod, and look down at the floor remorsefully.

"Why didn't you just go back to your old friends after? Why was it such a big deal to stop hanging out with us? I don't get it." He says more to himself than me.

"There is no one else. You guys are.. or were.. the first friends I had made for a very long time." I said quietly.

Edward runs his hands through his hair agitatedly. "I don't get why, there's nothing wrong with you." He said.

"I have my reasons for keeping people at arm's length… but you guys were different." I sighed, closing my eyes. I was just so tired.

"I can see that." He said, glowering at my busted lip. Part of me panicked, wondering if he knew, but there was no way he could, right? "Have you used the stuff since that night?" He asked, his eyes turning hard.

"No… but, I wanted to, today. I got a hold of some today, and I was going to use it to try and make it so I could get through Christmas." I said honestly, staring at the floor. I don't know why I was being so honest.

"Who did you get it from?" he asks, his eyes hardening. I am fairly sure he knew, but I couldn't rat James out, not when he told me not to, so I just shook my head.

"Do you have it with you?"

"Yeah, in my jacket." I said quietly.

He stands up then, and looks through my wet jacket. He pulls out the brown bag, then pulls the white powder baggy out of that, and brings it into the bathroom. A few seconds later, I hear the toilet flushing. I sighed deeply, hearing it.

He came back over, and sat down. I wanted to be mad, but honestly, I couldn't. I knew that stuff was the reason he pushed me away, to keep me away from it.

"Look, I am not going to say never do drugs. I would be a hypocrite if I did. Stay away from that stuff though. If you are going to do anything, do it around people you know and trust, and _not_ heroin. That shit ruins lives like no other. I bet it was fucking amazing to feel so happy, right?" he said, staring right at me

"Yeah.. It was. Foreign, and amazing." I said quietly.

"That's why it's so dangerous. You will always be chasing that first high, and it gets harder and harder to get, until you are ODing, or so addicted that the withdrawals feel like they are going to kill you." He said, resting his head in his hands.

"You sound like you speak from experience." I whisper, and he nods.

"I do. I am not going to say I am clean, and that I don't do anything, because that would be a lie, but I don't EVER touch that shit anymore. Never again. And I won't let anyone else I care about touch it either." He said.

For a moment, I am shocked. He cares about me? How could he leave me alone for months if he cared?

"Promise me you will never touch that shit again." He says seriously.

I consider for a moment, then I sigh. "Only if you promise that you won't push me away from everyone again. And if you are going to push me away again, just do it now, so it sucks less."

He stares at the floor, running his hands through his hair. "We are no good for you Bella."

"I don't have anyone else, and I can't just let anyone in. I can't." I said, feeling the defeat settling in.

"I can't make that promise, because I want to keep you safe. You are one of the few good people in this world, and I don't want to taint you." He said.

I stand up slowly, and go to grab my wet clothes from the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" He asks, studying me.

"Leaving." I said simply, forcing an emotionless mask on.

"I didn't say that I was kicking you out."

"No, you didn't, but you will, and I am counting my losses." I said quietly.

"Just stay for now, okay? Please Bella. Where else are you going to go? You clearly don't want to fucking go home, and its supposed to be a blizzard outside in a few hours." He said.

"I think I would rather take my chances. " I spat back at him.

Edward lets out a growl of frustration. "Fine. You know what? I will try. However, the moment that I see something I don't like, I reserve the right to pull the plug. "

I stare at him a moment, before sighing. I knew I was going to regret this, allowing myself to get in deeper when there was no guarantee it wouldn't end again, but the thought of getting to stay with him, and his friends, and having someone actually give a shit about whether I was alive or dead was too tempting, even if it was temporary.

"Fine. Then I promise I won't touch that stuff again." I say quietly, before putting my wet clothes back down over the side of the tub, and going to sit back on the couch. I felt another shiver wrack my body as I sneezed.

"Then if you are going to be spending time hanging out here… I think it's time you met my family, so they don't wonder about the strange person in their house. First thing in the morning, alright?"

I looked at him, and nodded uncertainly. "Alright."

"You can take the bed again. I will take the couch." He said. I was about to argue, but he quickly shakes his head. "I can tell you're fucking tired, and so am I. I may be a dirt bag, but I do have some manners." He grins a crooked grin, and I feel my cheeks heat up in response.

"Fine, Monsieur Dirt Bag." I say before walking over to his bed, and pulling back the covers.

"I like that. Has an honest ring to it." Edward grins a little.

"That's what I was going for." I say before getting under the blankets of his super comfortable bed, and curling up to go to sleep.

"Goodnight Bella."

"Goodnight Monsieur."

I hear him chuckle as he turns out the light.

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_I know this was a super intense chapter, and the story is just heating up. There is a hell of a lot more to come! please __**R&R!**_


	6. Chapter 6: YMCA

_Thank you for all of the reviews and favorites! I really hope you guys like my story so far!_

Disclaimer: SM owns twilight.

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**Chapter 6: YMCA**  
_**BPOV**_

_"I knew it, you fucking bitch! I knew you were cheating on me! I've known for months!" I heard him yell. I was hiding in the closet, where mommy told me to, doing my best to stifle my sobs. I was scared. I had never seen Daddy this drunk.  
"Damn you Charlie! Do you even want to know WHY!?" She shrieked._

_ "I don't give a shit!" I then heard the sound of him hitting her, and a whimper of pain._

_ "You haven't cared! You weren't there when I needed you! All you do is drink! I couldn't take it anymore! I needed someone!" _

_ "I pay for this goddamned house. I pay the bills, I pay for you to get your hair done. I pay for fucking everything. What else do you need?!" he yelled, and I heard the sound of crashing and screaming._

_ "Charlie.. please.. I'm sorry! Maybe.. maybe we can get help! If only you would stop drinking.. be the old Charlie I fell in love with." I heard her begging, and I curled up tighter, shoving my fist in my mouth to stop myself from crying out loud._

_ I heard more crashing after that, and more screaming. After about a half an hour, I heard one final loud scream. Then everything was quiet for a few minutes._

_ "Fuck!" I heard from him, then the sound of him walking to the door. As soon as I heard the front door open and close, I ran out of the closet to the living room._

_ "Wake up.."_

"Wake up!" My eyes snapped open, and I sat up quickly, breathing hard, cold sweat rolling in beads down my damp skin.

Edward was leaning over me, looking a little alarmed. I looked around, and noticed the blankets on his bed were tangled around me. I wasn't surprised, but I was mortified.

"You were screaming and yelling.. You were going to wake everyone up." He said, looking away to hide the concern I briefly saw in his eyes.

"Sorry… bad dream." I said dumbly. My heart was still beating too hard and too fast, and I was trembling, trying to keep my emotions in check. I had that dream almost every time I slept. Sometimes it would go further, and that was when it was the worst. Sometimes I just dreamt of all of the crap Charlie has done to me. These were the reasons I avoided sleep as much as possible.

"I figured… do you erm..", he rubbed the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable, "Want to talk about it or something?" he said quietly.

I shook my head. "Not particularly. I would rather just… forget about it. I am sorry I woke you up.

He sighs, and nods. "It's still early, do you want to go back to sleep?"

"Um.. not really. You can if you want." I said, before glancing at his bookcase.

"I'm fine. I'm already up."

I glanced over at the clock, and saw it was five am. I had slept almost two hours. "I'm sorry again, for waking you." I said, stretching, wincing a bit.

"It's fine. I'm gonna go take a shower then. If you want to read or something, there's books over there." He said, seemingly having noticed me ogling his books a moment ago.

"Alright. Thanks." I said before standing and walking over to the book case.

He had a lot of fantastic titles in there. Some of the classics, as well as a bunch of scifi, and also some action. I plucked "Pride and Prejudice" from the bookshelf, before going back over to his bed. My hands were still shaking from my nightmare, and my heart still hadn't gone back to normal. I fucking hated sleeping.

About half an hour later, Edward came out, his hair still wet from his shower, wearing just a pair of jeans, showing his perfectly chiseled chest and six pack, with a hint of a V above the waist of his jeans. I had to look away to keep myself from gawking.

He sniffled a little before wiping his nose, and sat down on the sofa. "Pride and Prejudice, eh?" he asked.

"Yeah, I love this book." I said, keeping my eyes off of him, my cheeks burning.

"I never read it. My dad gets me a lot of books. Austen isn't one of my favorite writers though." He said, leaning back, his knee bouncing a little.

"I am a fan of the classics. I don't have many books of my own, but I regularly get this one from the library."

"You can borrow that one if you want." He said with an offhanded voice.

"Really?!" I said, looking over at him, shocked, feeling a smile tug at my lips.

"Wow. If I knew letting a girl borrow a book would illicit that reaction, I would do it more often." He said with a grin of his own.

"Thank you. I will take good care of it." I said, not fighting back the smile anymore.

"I don't think I have ever seen you that happy… well other than.." he trailed off. "Do you need to pick up anything up from your house?"

"Um… yeah. I need clothes for the day." I said, biting my lip.

"Okay, well, we can leave for that whenever. I don't know how long you need."

I glanced at the clock. Charlie would still be home for about half an hour.

"Um… Maybe in like a half an hour? I don't want Ch- my dad to know that I stayed out all night. He might ground me." I said, trying to sound normal. _Yeah, grounding, right._ I thought sarcastically.

His eyes narrowed a little, like he was trying to think of something, but shook his head after. "Alright. We can leave whenever."

After a few minutes of silence, he pulled out a notebook and started writing. I went back to the book.

I hadn't even realized how long passed until I heard Edward get up. I glanced over at the clock, and it was already about eight am. It was oddly comfortable, even though we didn't say a word.

"Ready to go? I want to head out before the family all wakes up, so they don't know you were here all night. They would probably get the wrong idea." He said.

I closed the book after taking note of the page, and stood up. "Sure. Thanks again. Are you sure they aren't up already?

"Nah, Dad is probably already at work, but its vacation, so everyone else will probably be asleep for another hour at least."

I nodded before grabbing my clothes from the day before. They were still drenched, but I kind of expected that, it hadn't been that long.

As we made our way out, I looked around, this being the first time I had seen his house in day light. It was amazing. It looked professionally decorated, and every room was huge and pristine. When we passed through the kitchen, I nearly had an orgasm from the black marble counters, and perfect stainless steel appliances and the Viking stove.

I loved to cook, but the only way I could get away with cooking at home was to cook for Charlie, and I refused to cater to him.

The moment we headed outside, I felt how cold it was. It was still snowing pretty hard out.

I helped him clean off his car as it warmed up, then we headed out, his car handling fine on the crappy roads.

When we were about halfway there, his cell phone rang, and he picked up. "What's up Jazz?" he waited a moment, then his eyes widened. "Okay, I will be there soon. " He said before hanging up.

"Change of plans. Sorry, but I am going to have to just drop you off. Something major came up, and I really can't bring you." He said in a tight voice.

"Oh.." I said, disappointment settling in.

"If you want to hang out later, just come by the park, and I will pick you up." He said, reading the disappointment in my voice.

"Alright. If I can, I will be there." I said

He nods before he pulls into my empty driveway. "Thanks for last night, Edward." I said before I get out, and walk into my house.

The house was completely trashed, with bottles all over. I hadn't really been around, and yesterday, I didn't get much of a chance to look around before he ambushed me.

Once I was done cleaning up, I went upstairs to get changed. I pulled on my smallest pair of jeans, and a long sleeved t-shirt. All my hoodies were still drenched, so I started a wash with all of my clothes, figuring I had plenty of time before Charlie would come home to get my clothes cleaned.

I went downstairs and made myself a sandwich, eating the whole thing. I was hungry enough that I almost made another, but knew that if I did, I would be sorry when we ran out.

After the washing machine buzzed, I headed up, and transferred everything to the dryer. Just as I was about to leave the laundry room, I heard the door slam. I glanced at the clock on the wall, and sucked in my breathe. He was home early again.

I tried to be as quiet as possible, but the dryer was too loud with the sound of my jeans.

"Bella! I know you're home! Get down here now!"

I swore under my breath, and curled up in the corner of the room, behind the door, hoping he wouldn't find me.

I heard him growl, before he started searching the house.

Not long after, he opened the door to the laundry room, and looked around, before checking around the door. "found you." He grinned, before he pulled me up by the scruff of my shirt.

"Let go of me!" I yelled, and tried to push him off of me.

He growled, and dragged me, kicking and screaming to the stairs. He threw me down them roughly, and I yelped in pain as I rolled down them, thankfully not breaking anything this time.

He came down, and before I could even get up, he started kicking me. "This is for yesterday! You dared fucking defying me!" he said before he slammed his hard boot into my gut again hard enough that I started coughing, tasting blood in my mouth.

"Don't you get it? You are mine. I do whatever the fuck I want with you. You will never escape, and you can spend as long as you want away from me, but you will always have to come back. Even if you don't, you know I will find you." He said, slamming his foot down on my wrist so hard that it snapped. I bit back my scream, breathing hard through my nose to keep myself from yelling.

"I think I need to re-educate you." He said before he grabbed me by my broken wrist, and dragging me towards the garage. He tossed me in before closing the door behind him. He kicked me hard a few times, then walked away towards the other side. I tried to get up, but my body was radiating pain. Before I could even get to my feet he was back, and was shoving me back down onto the ground. He pinned me down, and I struggled harder. Then I noticed what he had in his hands—rope. I struggled harder, but he was too strong, and he had me tied up, ankles and wrists tied together so I could not move. He glanced down at me satisfied before he went to the garage and padlocked them, shoving the key in his pocket.

Finally, he left the garage, locking the door behind him.

I struggled for hours, but to no avail, I couldn't get out, and all I was accomplishing was slicing up my wrists and ankles with the rope. I finally gave up after awhile. I could see my breath raise up in thick clouds above my head with each breath.

Then I realized, he could keep me out here for the next week and a half if he wanted, without anyone noticing. School didn't start until then. I started to panic, struggling again.

Finally hours later, I gave up again, exhausted and freezing.

It was dark when Charlie came back into the garage, grinning at me. "Now Renee, I believe you owe me something." He said before advancing on me. I was too tired to even try to fight.

**EPOV**  
I waited for a few hours in my car that night for her to show, but she never did. I had a feeling something wasn't right, but I wasn't about to go to her house. Her dad and I didn't really get along with all of my run ins with him. I figured she was probably just not feeling well after being out in the cold so long the night before.

Earlier today, I got a call from Jasper, because his sister, Rosalie had come to him crying. She was pregnant with Emmett's kid. She had just graduated high school the year before, and was in college with my older brother, Emmett. Between my little sister Alice, who was her best friend and Jasper's girlfriend, Jasper, Emmett and Rose, we tried to figure out what to do. Emmett had decided to drop out of college to get a job to support her. We didn't want any of the parents knowing yet, so figuring that out would be the hardest.

I don't really know why they wanted me there, since we weren't that close anymore. They didn't know about all of the shit I was into, or what Jasper was into, but we still hadn't really hung out since they were in school with us.

Rose and Emmett were planning on getting a place around here again. Beyond that, we hadn't really figured out what we were going to do, but I knew I had to be there for them, even if I didn't really know how.

Jasper was with rose and Alice tonight, so that left me to my own devices, since Bella clearly wasn't coming.

I headed back home, and went straight to my room. I went straight to my desk, and pulled out an eight ball. I did a few lines before I grabbed my guitar, and sat down with it, playing random shit, and starting a new song.

I spent the rest of the night like that, taking lines every few hours and writing songs.

I went back out the next night, but Bella never came that night either. I was starting to think maybe she was blowing me off, which I knew would be best for her. However, after thinking about it, I really doubted that happened.

The rest of the holiday went by in the same manner. Jasper, Marcus and I hung out a few times, and got trashed, and I stopped waiting up for Bella.

**BPOV**

I lost track of the time after a couple days, and I stopped counting days. I knew he would have to let me out eventually, but I wasn't sure if I would last that long. He only came in to give me water, and to have his way, beating me and…

I stopped that train of thought, shuddering, forcing away the stinging in my eyes. I instead started thinking of every song lyric I could, keeping my mind off of the freezing cold.

Some days, I tried to recall as many details of my favorite books, trying to recite them from memory as much as possible, anything but think about my current situation.

Finally, as morning came one day, Charlie came in, and grunted as he untied my ropes. He pulled me inside, knowing chances are, I was too weak to walk.

"Go get ready for fucking school. You smell." He said, dragging me upstairs to the shower.

After that, he left, presumably for work.

I couldn't stop the shaking from cold as I forced myself into the shower. I turned it on as hot as it would go, and stayed under, trying to warm up, and wash the filth off. I tried my best to keep reciting song lyrics as I went, to keep myself from thinking about the past week and half, since I now knew how long I had been in there.

When I was done, I felt significantly stronger, having warmed up, and being a little more hydrated. I went to the sink, and drank as much water as I could from the tap before I went back to my room. My clean clothes were dumped on the floor, presumably from him having to wash his own clothes.

I put on the thickest hoodie I could find, along with jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt.

I could feel my thoughts drifting back to the last week, and disgust filled me, so I immediately started thinking of another song, any song. Oddly, the first song that came to mind was YMCA from the Village People. I guess even that was better than thinking.

I grabbed my backpack with my good hand, and started out. I felt fucking horrible, and knew I was probably sick as a dog from the whole thing. I didn't even think I could hold down food if I tried, which was bad because I hadn't eaten once since he locked me in the garage.

I shuddered as I walked out the door, back into the cold air, and started towards school, navigating through the tunnel vision from the limited sleep I had gotten over the last while, only having slept for about 20 minutes at a time a very few times. I forced myself to stay awake because of the cold, along with the nightmares.

School passed in a haze, and before I knew it, I was in Biology. I sat down in my seat, and shortly after, I heard the chair scrape beside me.

"You never showed up." I heard from beside me. I glanced up at him, and he looked a little taken aback.

"Sorry, I ended up not being able to go out. I got sick." I said, which wasn't a complete lie. I was fairly certain I was sick now, and I didn't specify exactly _when_ I got sick, merely implied.

"I see that. You look like shit." He said sighing.

"Wow, thanks. Just what I wanted to hear." I said, sitting up.

"Are you sure that's all?" he asked, watching me closely.

I bit my lip as the images from the last week flashed through my mind. I forced them from my mind. _Young man, There's no need to feel down, I said young man, pick yourself off the ground._

"Are you singing the fucking Village People?" Edward asked, a slight grin on his face, his eyes still intense.

I hadn't realized I was singing it out loud. Wow, embarrassing. "Yeah? What of it. So what if that means I am a gay man from the seventy's? " I forced a grin.

"Wow, guilty pleasure?"

"No, not really. I actually hate that song, it is just stuck in my head."

"Sure, I believe you." He grinned, seemingly having dropped it.

"You better." I said just as Mr. Banner walks in and starts class, halting any further conversation.

Once class ends, Edward stays behind a moment, waiting for me.

"Meet me after school, alright?"

"Sure." I said, wondering what was up.

"Just meet me by my car." He says before he takes off. I follow after him, before heading my own way to Gym. Luckily, the teacher seeing how crappy I looked let me sit this one out.

After Gym ends, I head straight out to the parking lot, and look for Edward's car. He arrives just a couple minutes later, and lets me in.

"So, what's on the agenda, Monsieur?" I ask, feigning a light tone.

"I thought we would hang with Jasper. You can meet my siblings and Rosalie. I think they would like you. Also, it would give you someone less poisonous to hang out with."

"You aren't going to just pass me off on them, right?" I ask, trying to not show the fear I feel at that.

"No, but when you realize how much of a fuck up I really am, I don't want you to feel like you have to stay, just because you have no one else."

"Wow, that was almost sweet." I said, rolling my eyes. "You know, you aren't they only fuck up, monsieur. I do a pretty good job of fucking up on my own."

"Somehow I doubt that you are quite on the same level of fuckupery as me." He grins a little.

"Maybe." I shrug as I lay my head back. I was so fucking tired, but I didn't want to close my eyes. I just wanted to remain in this almost normal moment.

"So what are they like?" I ask after a few minutes.

"Well… My younger sister, Alice, she's a fucking hyper shopaholic. She's Jasper's girl. Then Rosalie is Jasper's sister. She is kind of a bitch, well, actually, a total bitch, but she is cool when you get to know her. She is dating my older brother, Emmett. And Emmett is well.. Emmett. He's a fucking man child the size of a bear." He chuckles a little bit. It was odd to hear him speak so affectionately about anyone.

"You guys must be close."

"Not so much anymore. Rose, Emmett and Alice don't know the shit that Jasper and I do. They will smoke pot, and drink with us, but they don't know about anything else. Jasper doesn't do as much since he started dating my sister, mostly because he knows I will kick his ass. I don't want them knowing though, so…"

"So don't say anything, got it." I finished for him.

"Right."

"So… What else do you do? I know you said you don't touch smack anymore, but I am under the impression that you do other things."

He shifted a little uncomfortably, and runs a hand through his hair.

"I don't really want to talk about it." He said.

I sighed, and dropped it. We all had things we didn't want to talk about. That I could understand.

A few minutes later, we arrived at his house. There were a few other cars parked outside. A red BMW, a yellow Porsche, and a motorcycle.

"Guess the gangs all here." He said quietly before shutting off his engine.

We got out, and headed inside, heading right to the living room. Sitting there were three people I had never met, and Jasper.

_Here we go._

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_Please __**R&R**__! I will love you forever! It makes my day to read reviews, and it helps me keep going!_


	7. Chapter 7: The Gang

_Yet another Chapter! This one is a little shorter, but don't worry, I don't think I am done yet tonight. I did three chapters last night, so I am likely to do the same tonight! Please __**R&R**__! Also, I want to thank anyone who I haven't personally gotten in touch with in response to your reviews. If I haven't, it's because you posted as a guest, and I literally could not, but to those of you who did, Thank you so much! I appreciate the support, and I appreciate your comments and thoughts very much so! _

_Disclaimer: SM owns everything_

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**Chapter 7: The Gang**

_**BPOV**_

The four people sitting in the living room looked up at us the moment we walked in. Jasper sat there holding the small girl with short spiky black hair I had seen him with a few times at school. She was short, with large green eyes, and light skin and a slight build. I was guessing she was Alice, because her eye color was so similar to his. Across from her sat two people, one a large man with curly brown hair and dimples, and baby blue eyes, with his muscular arm wrapped around a woman with ice blue eyes, long blonde hair, and a curvaceous figure any woman would die for.

"Hey guys, this is Bella." Edward said awkwardly, shoving his hands in his pocket.

"Welcome back, Bells." Jasper said with a warm grin, as the tiny girl next to him stood up and danced over to me.

"Hey! I'm Alice, and that's Emmett, and Rosalie" she said pointing to the other two. "I guess you already know Jazzy!" She said with a grin.

Rosalie had yet to say a word, but continued assessing me.

"Come sit down with us! We were about to order pizza! What kind do you like?" Alice asked, practically vibrating with excitement.

"Um… Any kind is good." I said, a little overwhelmed. I honestly didn't know if I could stomach it, but I knew I needed to try to eat something.

Edward put his hand on the small of my back and led me over to one of the couches, sitting down next to me. I felt my cheeks heat up from the intimate touch, but immediately felt calm. It was weird, no one had ever had that effect on me before.

Rosalie continued watching me, a slight scowl on her face.

"So, Bella! How do you know Eddie here?" Emmett asked, a grin on his face.

"Biology class." I said.

Rosalie snorted a little bit. "More like probably one of the tramps he's fucking." She muttered. Suddenly everyone went quiet, clearly uncomfortable. I felt my face heat up as I suppressed my anger.

"Actually, no. But thanks. I would appreciate it if you didn't judge me when I haven't said two words to you yet." I said, trying to keep the bite in my tone minimal.

"Whatever." Rosalie said before getting up and walking away.

"Sorry about her. She is just a little moody lately." Emmett said, clearly embarrassed.

"Nah, she's just a bitch. She'll warm up to you though." Alice said, forcing a smile.

"Okay." I said, not sure of what else I could say to that.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Emmett looks up at me.

"Hey, do you like videogames?" he asked me.

"I don't know. I have never played them before." I answered honestly.

"Oh. Do you want to try?" Emmett asked.

I glanced over at Edward, who just shrugged.

"Sure."

Alice hopped up and down. "I'm in too! Then after, I want to steal Bella. Your hair is soo pretty, I would love to do something with it!"

I gulped a little. I wasn't sure I liked that idea, but she seemed nice enough, and I didn't want to disappoint her. "Um sure..?"

Emmett went over to the huge TV on the wall, and hooked up some game system to it, before putting a game in it. We all joined him, and sat around the TV.

"Jasper and I will play the first game, so you can see how its done, then You and Edward can play, then winner plays Alice, and so on." He grins.

I nod, and watch the TV as they start shooting things. I feel a little uncomfortable when I see all the blood in the game, but am able to ignore the feeling.

"Emmett, you are going down, my man." Jasper taunts as he shoots up a bunch of Emmett's army guys.

"Keep talkin' bro. Not gonna happen." Emmett grins.

At the end, Jasper comes out the winner, and he grins, handing me his controller, as Emmett sulks. "Next time, you will be beggin' me to go easy." He says to Jasper as he tosses Edward his controller.

It takes me a few minutes to get accustom to the controls, but after awhile, I am killing things. As much as I didn't love violence, for obvious reasons, this game was fun as hell.

Edward was grinning too as he played. He was definitely winning, but it was also my first time. I even let out an excited 'whoop' when I managed to kill his character. He still won, but we were a lot closer in score than I thought we would be.

I handed my controller over to Alice, and she grinned, prancing over to sit on Jasper's lap. Her and Edward fought it out, but it was clear that Alice was better, and she creamed him by the end.

"Ha Ha, Eddie, you still can't take me." She grins.

"Don't call me Eddie." He said, shaking his head with a slight grin.

After a few more games, Alice announced to the guys that she was kidnapping me. I gave Edward a "save me" kind of look, but he just shook his head, suppressing a grin.

"Oh my god, I can do like.. sooo much. You're hair is so pretty, but I also think you would look really nice with some make up! Oh! And I even have some clothes I think would look fantastic on you!" she said, looking at my outfit in disapproval.

"Um… sure?" I said, feeling even more unsure.

As soon as we got into her room, she forced me into a chair in front of a vanity.

"So, what's up with you and Edward?"

"What do you mean?" I inquired.

"Like, are you with him? Do you like him?"

"Well… umm.. I don't know him that well yet. He's nice sometimes." I answered honestly.

"He can be nice, when he isn't too busy being a brooding killjoy." She chirps.

I laughed a little. "That sounds like him. But I don't know… Him and Jasper are the first friends I have made in.. a long time." I said quietly.

"Why? I think you're really nice! I don't understand why you would have any trouble making friends!" She says, genuinely shocked.

"Well… people I guess just don't like me that much." I shrug.

"Well, I think we are going to be good friends. I can tell." She said, winking at me, before attacking my hair with a brush.

After she finishes with my hair, its down still, but all curly and super shiny. She put on a little makeup, but not much, because I asked her not to put on a lot. She wanted me to wear a tank top and skirt of hers, but I vetoed it. It would show too much.

"Pizza!" I heard from downstairs.

"Let's go!" Alice grins as she grabs my hand, and pulls me downstairs. I grimace a little at the pain, but hold it in, since she grabbed the one with the broken wrist.

When we get back downstairs, I am assaulted by the smell of melted cheese, meat, tomatoes and bread. I nearly groan from the pleasure of it. I hadn't had pizza in years.

We all grab a slice, and go to sit in the living room. Edward stops chewing the bite he had already started the moment I walk in, and just stares at me for a moment.

Alice grins like an idiot at me, and raises her eyebrows. I just shake my head, because I know what she is thinking. He is probably just surprised that I look somewhat normal.

Jasper looks at me and grins. "You look nice." He said, and Emmett nods his approval through a mouthful of pizza. Rosalie is back in the room, but doesn't acknowledge me. I can accept that.

Alice looks at Edward again. "Eddie, doesn't Bella look really really pretty?" She says, and I feel my face heat up. I kind of wanted to kill the pixie.

"Erm.. uh.." He looks very uncomfortable as he avoids looking at me. "Yeah, she looks good."

Alice grins, before sitting down next to Jasper, leaving only the seat next to Edward free again.

I awkwardly shuffle over, and sit down beside him, nibbling on my own pizza. As we eat, Edward keeps glancing over at me when he thinks I am not paying attention.

"So, Bella, what's your phone number?" Alice asks.

"Um.. I don't really have one." I mutter.

"Really? Everyone has a phone."

"Not me." I shrug uncomfortably.

"Oh… well! You should come sleep over this weekend! We can go shopping! It will be loads of fun!" she says, bouncing up and down like a five year old on too much sugar.

"Sure, that sounds fun." I say, fighting the grimace. I hated shopping, and I didn't have money for it anyway. I nearly laughed at the idea of asking Charlie for money.

"You should finish your pizza." Edward says from beside me, eyeing my barely eaten pizza.

"Oh right." I said, as I forced it down. It was delicious, and incredible, but my stomach was turning already.

I managed to force the rest of the slice down, and then another at Edward's insistence. I figured it was just because I was skinny.

"Alright! Movie Time!" Emmett shouts, grinning.

"I want The Notebook!" Alice chirps.

"Ew, no." Emmett said.

Alice pouts at that, then Jasper gets up, and pulls a blue ray off of a shelf. "Boondock Saints anyone?"

Alice grins a little. "That'll do."

"Hell yeah!" Emmett grins, and Rosalie slaps his arm, hiding her own smile. So the ice queen is capable of smiling.

Edward grins a little too, and nods. "Good movie."

They all looked at me then to get my opinion. I blushed again, and shrugged. "Haven't seen it, but it sounds good." I said.

Emmett gawked at me, and ran over, grabbing my arms. "How could you not have seen it?!" he yells in mock terror. I couldn't focus on that, because all of a sudden, all I could feel was a cold sweat forming on my brow, and a tightness in my chest. It was suddenly hard to breathe, and I started seeing flashbacks of the last week.

_Charlie on top of me, I am tied down and defenseless as he hits me over and over again. It's cold, so fucking cold, and then even colder when he rips down my pants and…_

"Bella! Snap out of it!" I heard, and I opened my eyes, realizing I was on the floor, with everyone staring at me like they had seen a ghost, and Edward cradling the top half of my body, like he had caught me. His eyes bored into me, his eyebrows furrowed.

"What..?" I shook my head, trying to clear the confusion. Suddenly, I had to vomit, I got up as quick as I could, and bolted from the room, searching for the nearest bathroom. Luckily, I found one right off of the kitchen, just in time for me to spill the contents of my stomach into the toilet.

I collapsed onto the floor, leaning my head on the seat tiredly.

A moment later, Edward came in, since I left the door wide open.

"What happened back there?" He asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

I felt so drained that I just gave a half shrug. "I'm not sure." I answered honestly.

"Do you need to go home?" he asked, leaning against the wall.

I shook my head.

He watches me for a minute before he comes over cautiously, and helps me up. I sway a little, but gain my balance.

"We're going up to my room." He said.

"Alright." I said tiredly.

We made our way towards the stairs. When we passed the living room, I could feel everyone's eyes on me, and my cheeks burned with shame. I wasn't sure what just happened, but it was humiliating.

We made it up to his room, and he pointed to his bed. "Go."

I sat down on his bed, pulling my shoes off, and bringing my knees to my chest.

"What really happened?" He asked, pacing the room back and forth, running his hands through his hair.

"I really don't know."

"Describe it."

"I—I'm not sure. Just when he grabbed me like that… I just felt like I couldn't breathe, and I started seeing things… and then I was on the ground."

"What did you see?" He said, turning his penetrating gaze directly to mine, watching me closely.

"I don't remember." I lied, looking uncomfortable.

"Bella—"

"Please. Not right now. I can't talk about it, okay?" I pleaded.

He runs a hand through his hair again, and starts pacing, looking pissed.

"I'm sorry." I said, staring at the ground. "I can leave if you want."

He sighs, and pinches the bridge of his nose, still not looking at me. "You're not going anywhere. Not right now. I get why you don't want to tell me. We all have our secrets, and you don't know me that well." He says, looking like he is trying to calm himself down.

"it's not that I don't trust you, Edward. I just can't tell you. I can't tell anyone. Honestly, I don't even want to think about it, so can we please drop it?"

He paces a few more minutes, then sighs. "Fine. We can drop it for now."

"Thank you." I said, resting my head on my knees.

"You should get some rest." He said, as he heads towards the bathroom.

"Sure." I say, knowing full well I will not be even attempting to sleep. I knew I needed it, but I wasn't going to even try near him, just to give him more ammunition, or clues.

He comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later, looking a bit calmer, and sniffling a bit, wiping his nose.

"I am going to go downstairs and let them know you're okay. Get some sleep. If you need anything, you know where to find me." He said as he left.

After the door closed, I got up, and pulled "Wuthering Heights" off of his bookshelf, since Pride and Prejudice was in my backpack in his car.

I curled up under his blankets, since I was freezing again, and spent the next few hours reading. Every time I heard someone come near his room, I put the book down, and pretended to sleep, so I wouldn't worry anyone more.

He came in to check on me a few times, but left right after to go back downstairs.

He didn't come up to stay until well into the night, when he laid down on his sofa, and turned out the lights, going to sleep. I curled up, and spent the rest of the night trying to remember what happened in as much detail as possible after the point in the book where I had stopped, just to keep my mind occupied until morning.

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_I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! One of my goals for this story is to include more of the other characters, since I really didn't in my last story. Please __**R&R**__! Thank you for sticking with up until this point!_


	8. Chapter 8: Tension

_Hey guys! I am back with another chapter!_

If I have not gotten in touch with you personally regarding your review, again, it was just because I couldn't because of them not having an account. To everyone, thank you so much. I am touched that so many people already like my story.

_Also, bare with me, this is another intense chapter. I had to do a lot of research for this one, since I honestly don't know much beyond names of drugs. You guys are going to want to beat Bella senseless by the end of this chapter. Please __**R&R**__!_

_Disclaimer: SM owns everything_

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**Chapter 8: Tension**

_**BPOV**_

_ It was still dark when Edward's alarm clock went off. I was still awake, so tired that I could barely focus._

Edward groaned from his place on the sofa, and began swatting at the empty air beside him, almost falling off the couch. I stifled a giggle as he grudgingly opened his eyes. I turned off his alarm for him as he stood up, looking rather disoriented. He didn't say anything coherent as he made his way towards the bathroom. Apparently he wasn't a morning person.

After about twenty minutes, he came out of the bathroom, freshly showered, wearing only a towel, water dripping down the muscles of his torso, his hair dripping into his eyes. I felt myself swallow, as my cheeks burned hot. I unwillingly tore my eyes away as he started rummaging through his drawers for clothes to wear for the day.

I heard a chuckle, and I immediately looked up again, immediately feeling my cheeks burn brighter as he grinned at me. "Never seen a guy in a towel before? " he chuckled, and I wished his bed would just swallow me whole as I shook my head.

"I forgot to grab clothes before hand." He shrugged, still smirking. He goes back into the bathroom with clothes, and comes back out a few minutes later, fully dressed in a pair of black jeans and a plain black T-shirt. I glanced at him, but the only thing I could see still was a practically naked Edward.

"Do you need to stop at home to grab clothes for school?" he asked

I nodded dumbly, my mouth dry.

"Alright, come on." He grins, and I quickly get up. I am immediately reminded why I was up here in the first place when my head spins uncomfortably. "You okay?" he asked when I realize I had just been standing there looking like whatever I looked like.

"Yeah." I mutter, before forcing myself to focus through the fog. We make our way out of his room, and downstairs.

"Bella! Are you feeling better!?" I heard as the small form of Alice came skipping up to me with concern all over her features.

"Yeah, I'm, fine." I said, forcing a reassuring smile.

"Bells, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to—" Emmett said as he walked up, but kept a distance.

"Emmett, you did nothing wrong. I don't even know what happened. It was probably just from being tired or something." I said shrugging.

"Still, I'm sorry. I really hope you still come back, you're really cool!" he said, looking like a hopeful little kid—albeit huge.

"I will, don't worry." I said smiling at him.

"Come have breakfast with us!" Alice says, bouncing a little.

"Actually, We don't really have time. She still needs to get clothes and stuff from her house." Edward says.

"Oh… Okay. Well maybe I will see you later then?" She asks.

"Definitely."

Edward and I leave then, heading out to his Volvo. He drives us to my house. Charlie had already left for work.

"Do you want me to come in?" he offers.

"I won't be long." I said, knowing the place would be a mess, and not wanting him to see the liquor bottles that surely littered every surface.

"Alright." He said, studying me a little.

I shut the door to his car and go inside quickly. I take a quick 10 minute shower, and change into new clothes. I didn't even bother drying my hair, and am heading back towards the door in slightly less than fifteen minutes.

Just as I reach the door, another wave of dizziness comes over me, and I grasp the doorknob a moment to keep myself upright. As soon as it passes, I open the door, and go back out to his car, feeling like absolute crap. I really wish I had some coffee right about now.

"That was pretty quick." He says glancing at me, before taking a double take. He takes my chin in his hand, sending warm tingles all through my face as he stares at my eyes. "Did you not get enough sleep?" he asks, before running his thumb over the dark bags beneath my eyes. I knew I was getting to the danger zone where my eyes weren't focusing.

"I—" I tried to come up with an explanation since I had pretended to be asleep.

"I knew you weren't really sleeping most of the time." He said with a sigh. "Good book though?"

I nodded with a sigh. "I didn't want to have more nightmares at your house. I freaked you guys out enough yesterday. I.. don't usually sleep." I said, figuring this bit of honesty I could tell him. This was one thing I could say.

He ran a hand through his hair, closing his eyes.

"You need sleep." He said.

"I hate sleeping." I said, staring out the window now.

"Have you tried like sleeping pills or something?"

"Yeah, except those are worse. They just leave you trapped in the dreams." I said, leaning my head back tiredly.

"I know how that is.. I used to have nightmares too." He said, looking away.

"You did? What changed?" I asked, desperate

"The right cocktail of drugs." He muttered. "I don't want you to go near that shit though."

My interest was piqued. I remembered now that when I was on the heroin, I didn't dream that night. Maybe there were others that could do the same.

"Don't even think about it." He said with a stern voice, obviously seeing where my thoughts were heading.

"What worse can any of that shit do that I am not already living through?"

"It will destroy your life."

"My life is already destroyed." I bit back, my tone dark.

"Maybe you could fucking fix it if you told someone what the fuck was going on!"

I opened and closed my mouth a few times in shock. He knew something was going on, but it was clear he didn't know what.

"Yeah, you think I didn't fucking notice? You get injured way more than even klutziness can account for, and I am sure your nightmares about something. You are so fucking skinny that you look like your going to drop dead any fucking second. Shall I continue?" he spat at me

He was too close. He would get hurt. Suddenly my chest squeezed tight. I barely knew him, but I suddenly knew that if he got hurt because of me, I couldn't live with myself… It would be like _him_ all over again.

I had to get away before he figured out more, even though it would fucking kill me to lose him again, I had to get away. I had to protect him. I don't know why it was so important, but suddenly, it was more important than the pain I would suffer from losing the closest things to friends I had had since middle school.

"Bella?" he asked, his tone softening a little. It wasn't until then that I realized that I was crying.

"I have to go. I'm sorry, you're right. I need to stay away from you." I said, my voice a broken whisper. Not for the reasons he stated though.

He tried to stop me as I got out of his car, and ran to the forest next to my house. I heard him follow after me for awhile, calling out for me as I darted between trees, until eventually he gave up.

"Fuck!" I yelled as I punched the tree. "Fuck Fuck FUCK!" I screamed as I kept hitting it with all of my strength, not caring that I was breaking my already broken wrist far worse. I could feel the bone shift, but I still kept hitting it, until I finally collapsed on the ground crying. "Fuck you Charlie… You have to take everything away, even when you aren't around. And fuck you Edward, Why couldn't you have just ignored everything you saw? Why couldn't you be fucking stupid." I growled into my arms as I forced the tears to stop.

"You promised you wouldn't fucking cry anymore. Don't be a fucking baby, stop fucking crying." I spat out at myself in disgust as I forced the tears to stop.

I spent the next several hours just trying to cool down, and put up a blank façade. I didn't think I would be able to bring the numbness back so easily, but I knew I could at least fake it.

After a little while, I left the forest, and went into my house, grabbing the landline. I pulled James's number out that he had given me when he gave me the smack a couple days ago.

He picked up after a few rings. "Hello?" he asked

"James. This is Bella. What do you have, other than the smack? Something that will… I don't know, make me numb, or happy, I don't care, and that gives you dreamless sleep. Either that or something that gives you energy so you don't need sleep. I don't care what." I said, aware I sounded crazy over the phone.

"Heh, Bella, Meet me at the park, I will bring you somewhere, and we will find your drug of choice. Why not Heroin, may I ask?" he said conversationally.

"I made a promise. As far as I am concerned, everything else is fair game though." I said quietly.

"Alright, the park in twenty minutes."

"See you there." I said before hanging up. I immediately left, and half ran, half walked, knowing It was a thirty minute walk, but if I ran some of the way, I could make it on time.

When I got there, his station wagon was already parked by the curb. I went over to his car, and got in, out of breath.

"Hey Bella. We are going to go to my place. I think I know just the thing, or rather a couple of things." He grins a little.

I knew that I shouldn't trust him, but I was beyond caring. The last thing I wanted was to have to deal with this shit any longer. I couldn't involve people in my life, that much was finally clear, but I couldn't just survive any longer without anything else. That much was also clear. I needed something, anything to help me hold on.

We drove for a little while until he pulled into a crappy apartment building parking lot. We both got out, and I hesitantly followed him inside, neither of us speaking.

When we got up to his apartment, he opened the door and let me in. There wasn't much in there, just a mattress on the floor, and cans all inside the kitchen. An old TV sat on top of a chair, and there were a few articles of clothing on the floor.

He walked into the kitchen, and went into one of the drawers, pulling everything out of it, then taking out a piece of wood that looked like it was a fake bottom for the drawer. Inside was baggies of power, bottles of pills, plants, and a bunch of other stuff.

He then pulled out a bag of white powder, and two different bottles of pills.

He then walked over to the Mattress, and sat down, motioning next to him. I sat down beside him, watching him. He grabbed a lap table, and poured some of the white powder on it, arranging it in lines with a razorblade. He then handed me a short straw.

"All you have to do is inhale it through your nose. This one is coke, Edward's personal favorite." He chuckled. I blinked, not knowing the Edward did coke, but sighed, knowing it was irrelevant.

I took the straw, put it to my nose, and then sucked all the powder up. I could feel it coating the inside of my nose, and catch in the back of my throat. I could taste it slightly, and felt my nose starting to run, trying to get rid of the foreign substance.

I sniffled a few times, and wiped my nose, then I did the other line he had set up for me, this time a little easier, since I knew what to expect.

"So, that one, will keep you alert, and help you stay up. Now I can take a guess, saying you don't sleep all that much, so I am giving you a two part remedy for that." He grins a little.

"Um.. Okay." I say as he starts crushing up a pill. He then puts that one in a line like the coke. Before he eve explains, I inhale it, and he looks satisfied.

"That one was Speed, or Amphetamines. Coke is short lasting, but can make you pretty happy when you are on it. That one you will have to do more often, where as Speed, as its name implies, makes you hyper, speed through. You will barely ever have to sleep, and it lasts sometimes as long as twelve hours or more at a time. The two of those together, I think should make your days much more comfortable." He said, grinning. There was a look in his eyes that I wasn't sure I liked, like he had just caught a delicious prey. I knew what I was getting into.

"What's the other one you grabbed?" I asked

"Glad you asked. That one is Oxycodone, or Oxy's. Those are a lot like the heroin, but aren't actually Heroin. It's another opiate, and does just about the same thing as the other. Don't mix this one with the others. Wait until you come down from the others, and vise versa. This and the coke also both act as pain relievers as well, and this one should also give you your dreamless sleep."

I nod slowly.

"Now, let's see how this works. I will give you a very generous, two week supply of these. After that though, you are going to have to start paying, the stuff isn't free. I just want to help a friend out though."

_Sure. He just knows that after two weeks that I probably won't go back._ I said. I knew exactly what he was doing. Getting a new customer hooked. I was going to need a job to afford this, but if it would make it so I could function, and be okay, then I would gladly do it. It was no different then people getting prescriptions from the doctors. Hell, two of these were prescriptions.

He carefully measured out enough for two weeks of each. "The Oxy's you are going to want to do what I did with the speed. Break it up and snort it." He said with a grin.

I nodded slowly. "Thanks."

"No problem. Now, I have to go, I have another brother out. I will give you a ride back to the park. And obviously, you know the rules. No one finds out where you got it. Ever."

I nod seriously, before we both leave. When he drops me off at the park, he just grins and says "Have fun." Before he drives off.

As I stand there, I realize I am bouncing, suddenly full of energy. School wasn't even over yet, so I decided maybe I would catch the last couple classes. I hadn't felt so alert in a long time. I could see everything around me, I could hear all the sounds of the nature, and cars, I could feel the air on my skin. For once, I felt I was part of a 3d world, instead of navigating through fog in 2d.

I swore a little when I realized my backpack was still in Edward's car. I would still have to approach him at some point if I wanted it back,

For now, I could just say I forgot it, it wasn't a lie.

When I arrived, it was in the middle of lunch time. Oddly, even though I usually felt hungry, I wasn't. I went to sit down at a table, even the pain in my hands and wrist completely forgotten. I could barely feel the pain from those, or the bruised ribs, or any of the other things Charlie did. Hell, I felt like I could take on Charlie if I wanted.

After sitting there a few minutes, I made my way to biology, and sat down, mu leg bouncing up and down, and my fingers drumming on the desk. I just couldn't sit still.

"Bella, you came after all. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you this morning." He said as he sat down next to me.

I wanted to tell him it was okay, and I wanted to tell him we could still be friends, but I knew that was impossible. I knew we couldn't still be friends. It wasn't safe for him.

"Edward, I can't. I was wrong for thinking that it was okay to be with you guys. I was wrong for not listening to you in the first place." I said, forcing myself to look directly at his beautiful green eyes.

"That's bullshit. I just got too close to something, and you don't want me to find out. Don't fucking push me away out of cowardice. "

"This is not the time, nor the place to have this conversation, _Monsieur._ I just want to get an education. Maybe I just don't want to be friends with a dirt bag." I said, grimacing internally at having to hurt his feelings like this.

"Wow, Bella. You are a fucking bitch." He said with disgust, as he stared at me, then his eyes narrowed. "You're on something!" he hissed quietly at me.

I could feel my face pale. Was I that transparent? No, he just had a lot of experience with this stuff.

"What are you on? Who gave it to you?!" he spat under his breath so no one else could hear.

"None of you're business. As I told you, we aren't friends." I said, before getting up and storming out of the room.

I swore as I walked through the hallway, I passed a teacher who told me to get to class, and I just flipped them off. I didn't even look to see if they had followed me as I walked out of the school.

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_Please __**R&R**__! I really hope you are enjoy it! I got an early start, so I am likely to be doing a couple more chapters tonight! _


	9. Chapter 9: Burning Truth

_Thanks again for all of the reviews! You make me sooo happy! This is one of the chapters I KNOW everyone has been waiting for! *duh duh DUH!* Enjoy! oh, and this is not for the faint of heart or stomach. __**R&R!**__ Warning: This chapter contains very graphic violence._

_Disclaimer: SM owns everything_

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**Chapter 9: Burning Truths**

_**BPOV**_

The last two weeks flew by in a rush of speed and coke. I found a job working after school at the Diner in Forks, so that I would be able to afford more. I had only even had to sleep at all every five days or so, even though it was definitely cutting it close at the end. However, the Oxy's, as promised, did help with that as well. I slept for hours without a single dream, and woke feeling more refreshed than I had in years. Granted, I usually had a bit of a headache after, or sometimes felt a little sick, but it was better than the haze I usually was in.

Even Charlie's punishments were more tolerable, because the pain was dulled significantly. The only part that still was completely horrible was having to be a bitch to Edward. I had been skipping Bio lately, just to avoid him. He had tried to talk to me for several days in a row, until he finally gave up. A part of me ached at not being able to be around him. I realized in the last couple weeks that I had developed feelings—perhaps just a crush, on Edward. In the end though, I just remembered my reasons for staying away. It was for his own good.

Luckily, I wasn't as alone still as I had been before. I had hung out with Alice and Jasper a few times since. I think Jasper knew something was up, but knew better than to say anything. Alice on the other end though, was just thrilled that I seemed to have more energy to keep up with her.

I stood in front of James's house now, waiting for him to come down and let me in. I had called him an hour ago to let him know I was coming. I had made enough tips that I was sure I would be able to afford more. The only one I had anything left of was the Oxy's, because I didn't sleep as much as I am sure he thought I would.

"Hey Bella." James grinned as he came downstairs. His eyes were dilated to small pupils, and he was carrying himself lazily.

"Hey James. Came to refill. Thanks again, those definitely did the trick." I said, practically bouncing on my heels.

"No problem! Come on up!" he said quietly, with a big smile on his face.

I followed him back up to his apartment. He already had some bags ready on his mattress for me.

"How much are these going to be?" I ask, pulling out my wallet.

"Relax a bit, stay awhile." He grins a little.

I blinked, and sat down, shifting a little. I didn't want to sit still.

"So, for the same amount as last time, which should last you another two weeks, it's going to be 435$." He said.

My jaw dropped, I didn't think they were that expensive. "That's so much. I didn't know it was that expensive." I said.

"Stuff doesn't come cheap, and I have to make a profit, or else I wouldn't be selling it. Its mostly the Oxy's and the coke that cost so much. The speed isn't cheap, but not as expensive as the others. However, I can offer you a discount."

I look at him wearily, not liking the look in his eye.

"A discount?"

"Yeah. Help me out a little… and I will drop it to 300$." He said.

I had 315$. I didn't have enough for it all otherwise.

"Can't I just buy a weeks supply?" I ask

"Well… you could, but you would be spending more money in the long run. You would have to pay 200$ for the one week. I already gave you a bulk discount. I don't want people coming up here that often, might make neighbors suspicious, you know?" he said.

"What's the discount entail?" I ask

"Nothing much… Just since Victoria broke up with me, a guy is a little lonely." He said, grinning a little.

I swallowed uncomfortably. I could barely let any man touch me. Ever since the episode with Emmett, it had been consistent than anyone besides Edward would send me into what I now realized was a panic attack. Not to mention, I was not a prostitute.

"I.. I'm not sure." I said.

"Come on, baby. I know you want to." He said as he started reaching for me. I quickly jumped up away from him before he could touch me.

He looked pissed.

"I just helped you out big time, and took loss financially for you. The least you could fucking do is just give me twenty minutes of your fucking time!" he spat at me.

"I.. I don't. I can't It's not you, I just cant." I said.

"I see, you are just too much of a little girl to realize how the real world works." He said as he started picking up the baggies to put away.

"W-Wait! I will do the one week's supply!" I said.

"Why should I sell to you?" he spat.

"Because you want the money." I said, narrowing my eyes.

"Fine. 250$" he spat.

"You just said one week was 200$!" I said outraged.

"Yeah, that's with the friend discount. You just pissed me off. If you want it, it will be 250$." He said, glaring at me.

"Fine!" I said, throwing the money on his mattress.

He walks out of the room, and starts measuring out half of the stuff. He comes back a few minutes, and tosses the bags at me. "Get the fuck out."

"With pleasure." I spat back as I left.

I walked back towards my house, not particularly caring that Charlie was going to be home. I was in the mood for a fucking fight. I would rather hit someone who deserves it more. James maybe opportunistic, but I couldn't burn that bridge. Charlie I would just be giving him a taste of his own medicine.

Before I went inside, I went out to the shed behind the house and did a couple lines of coke and speed, and left my bags in there, before heading into the house.

"Heh, just the girl I wanted to see." He said, grinning. "You've been skipping." He says as he stands up, making his way over to me. I knew the look in his eye should terrify me, but I had a hard time being scared of anything right now.

"Yeah? What of it, _Dad_?" I stepped towards him.

"Since when was it okay for you—", he knees me hard in the gut, "To talk back to me?!"

I straighten up, and send my good fist flying into his face. Taken off guard, he staggers back. "You fucking bitch!" he says, swiping at the blood running from his nose.

"Yeah, Fuck with me today Charlie! I dare you, fuck with me!" I yell at him, seeing red. I had never been angry like this before, and I was slightly scared of what it was doing to me, but I also felt empowered. I couldn't stop.

Charlie then charged at me. I dodged out of the way, and he ended up ramming into the wall. I then kicked him hard in the back of the knee, forcing him down to the ground. I then grabbed one of his bottles laying nearby and smashed it over his back.

For a moment he didn't get up, and I thought maybe I had beaten the monster for once, until he got up, pure fury in his dead brown eyes, like I had never seen.

"You are going to pay for that, Renee." He snarled, and before I even knew what was happening, I was on the ground, and he was slamming my head onto the ground repeatedly. I almost lost consciousness, but was forced back awake when he started kicking me with more force than I had ever felt. Just when I thought he was done, he came back with the rope from before. I tried to get up to get away, but was too weak. He grabbed me, and tied my hands together, before dragging me to the garage. He tied me up to a beam, before pulling me so I was hanging. I wasn't expecting what came next. He grabbed the welding torch he got years ago when he thought he would try to fix a plumbing issue himself. I felt my eyes widen as he lit it, a menacing grin filling his face.

"Don't worry, I won't kill you. But you certainly as hell won't fucking fight back again." He grins before he brings the flame to my leg. My pant lit on fire, before suddenly blinding pain. All I could smell was burning flesh, and hear my own screams as my leg burned. He then poured water on it until it went out. I vomited from the pain, shaking all over, tears running down my face. Even the coke couldn't numb that pain.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please stop!" I begged, having never resorted to begging before.

He just grinned. "How else are you supposed to learn?" he smiles before he does the other leg. I screamed again, until everything went black.

I woke up a few hours later, panting from another nightmare. There was fire, and Charlie was burning me. Then the pain registered, it wasn't a dream.

He had let me down since, and I was laying on the ground of the garage, both legs burned so badly on the thighs that I could barely move them.

I had to get out of here. I didn't know how I would get out, but I had to. I couldn't handle it anymore. I was fucking turning to drugs to try and survive, and he was getting more brutal, and I was defenseless. Even when I fight back, I couldn't win.

I pulled myself up, and screamed from the excruciating pain the movement caused. I made it inside slowly. Charlie's cruiser was gone, which meant he probably went out to a bar or a friend's house. I didn't know how long I had. When I made it to the phone, I collapsed, bringing the phone down onto the floor with me. I dialed 411, asking for the Cullen residence.

When I was put through, a chirper voice answered. "Hello! Who's this?"

"Alice, it's Bella, can you put Edward on the phone?" I whispered, my teeth clenched.

"I thought you guys were having a fight?"

"Please, Alice, please?" I said, breathing through my mouth, trying not to yell out from the pain again.

"Bella… He isn't home right now. Do you want his Cell phone?"

"I don't have anything to write it with. Please, can you call him and tell him to come to my house? Please? And hurry?"

"Is everything all right? You sound weird."

"I can't. No, it's not, please, just get him here."

"Alright." She said, before hanging up.

I don't know why he was the one I called, probably because I knew he already knew something was up. I would have to hope that he could keep his mouth shut.

I spent the next half an hour falling in and out of consciousness, my head pounding from the several times he slammed it into the ground. My ribs ached, and the severe burns on my legs were excruciating. I hadn't even dared look at them. I could smell it though.

The door opens, and I hear footsteps walking into the house. I pray it isn't Charlie.

"Bella? Where are you?" I heard a slightly irritated velvet voice say.

"Near the kitchen." I rasp out.

He rounds the corner, then stops, his eyes widening in horror.

"What the hell happened?! Who.. Oh my god."

"I'll tell you everything.. please.. please I need to get out of here.. I can barely move. Please?" I begged him.

He nods, and quickly bends down, picking me up as gently as he could, but even then, I ended up screaming in pain, tears erupting in my eyes.

"Shh. I'm sorry.. " he whispered in a panicked voice as he tries to calm me down.

I bit my fist hard enough to draw blood trying to stop myself from screaming again when he got me into the passenger seat of his car. He quickly got in on his side.

"Shit, I have to take you to the hospital." He said, as he started his car.

"No hospital." I whispered, leaning my head back trying to keep my breathing even.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me." He says, gripping the steering wheel.

"I am not fucking kidding you. Charlie is the fucking chief of police, and he will find out if I went to the hospital, and he will fucking kill me."

He looks at me with a serious look. "What the fuck am I supposed to do then?!"

"I don't know." I whispered in a defeated voice.

"My dad's a doctor." He said, sighing. "But I don't know that he will have everything necessary to treat that at home."

"I don't really care. They will heal on their own eventually. I just had to get out. I can't handle anymore… not tonight." I said tiredly.

"You mean, you expect me to do nothing? And you are just going to go back!? Are you fucking insane?!" he yelled.

"I don't have a choice! I tried to run before, and he just put out an amber, and got me back, and the punishment for that was almost as bad as this! I will never escape him until I am no longer a minor. He is the law, I can't fight it." I caught my breath, closing my eyes to keep myself from crying. "That's why I pushed you away, because I knew you would want to help, and I knew you would be putting yourself, and me in more danger. I can't allow that. You can't tell anyone."

"That's bullshit." He said, though his tone was defeated.

"Do you remember Riley?" I asked quietly, feeling all of the strength I had gone.

"Adams?" he asked in a monotone voice.

"Yes. Obviously, you remember that he went missing when we were in seventh grade. Everyone figured he got lost in the woods, and was attacked by an animal or something, since no one found him. The town was destroyed by it, because he was such a good kid." My voice broke a little as I kept the tears from coming.

"You guys were pretty close, if I remember right. You used to sit together at lunch, hang out at recess, right?"

"Yeah, he was my best friend. He found out though, or rather, he didn't find out. I told him. I told him, because I was too much of a fucking whiny baby to take it. I told him after Charlie broke my arm for the first time."

Edward's hands tightened on the steering wheel.

"It wasn't your fault." He said in a tight voice.

"Except, that it was. If I had never told him, he would still be alive. He confronted Charlie, when he came to check up on me. I don't know what he was thinking. I don't know." I whispered, swallowing thickly, reminding myself over and over again that I wasn't allowed to cry.

"Charlie fucking threw him around a bit, toyed with him, then he killed him with his shot gun. He made me sit and watch, so I would know exactly what would happen if I told someone again. I don't know how he hid the body, but I imagine knowing how to find a body as an officer, made it easier to know how to hide it in such a way that no one would find it." I said.

"I am not Riley." He said, pulling over to the side of the road.

"You can't tell. I won't be responsible, not again. Please, protect yourself."

"He's going to fucking kill you!" he said, motioning at my legs.

"He hasn't yet. I only have a year and a half left. That's it." I said "Please. "

He punches the steering wheel before running a hand through his hair. "Fine. But you are getting help. I will see if Carlisle can set up a private room in the hospital. I don't want my little sister seeing you like this." He said through his teeth.

"Alright. " I said quietly, knowing that this was the only way he was going to agree to not telling.

He drove in silence after that until we made it to the hospital. He called his dad in advance to let him know we were coming. Night had already fallen.

He parked, and came around to my side. He looked at me apologetically before he picked me up again. I fisted my hand in his shirt, biting my lip until it bled, trying not to scream and make a scene.

He got me inside, trying not to jostle me too much, and immediately a gurney was ready. A Doctor was waiting with blonde hair, and blue eyes, and Edward's jawline. He looked at us, and at my legs in shock, before shaking his head, and helping get me on the gurney. I bit back the scream again from the movement.

"What happened, Edward?! " He asked in a shocked tone.

"We went to Port Angelus for a movie, but got separated. A group of guys cornered her, and I guess when she fought back, they beat her up, and lit her on fire. She jumped in a puddle, and was able to put it out, but I think they did some major damage." Edward explained without so much as a stutter. He must have thought of that story on the way here.

He nodded, looking grim, but also looking a little skeptical.

"Bella, we are going to sedate you so we can take care of your injuries, alright?" The doctor, who I assumed was Edward's dad said, and I nodded.

"He put a needle into my arm, and moments later, I was out.

When I woke up, my legs were entirely numb, and wrapped in bandages. My ribs were taped, and my broken wrist from weeks ago had a cast on it.

"You're lucky. The damage from the burns, though very painful, will not cause any permanent damage, other than scarring. I have you on pain medication. You can walk around, but it may be too painful for now. Also, you had a concussion, and several broken ribs. Your wrist was broken… but it looked like it was weeks old. Why did you not have that taken care of earlier?"

"I thought it was just sprained." I said quietly.

He nodded, though not looking convinced.

"Also, you are severely underweight. Have you been eating?"

I nod. "Not as much as I should, but I do." I said, sighing. It wasn't a lie.

"I would like to keep you here overnight because of the concussion, but you can go home after. I guess Edward offered to have you stay with us for awhile? Charlie is staying at a friend's house for a few days?"

"Yeah, and I don't want him to worry." I said, smoothly adding onto whatever Edward told him.

"Alright. Well, Edward is waiting to come back in." He said, shaking his head a little as he leaves the room. Edward comes in, and sits down on the chair beside the bed.

"Hey, thanks, for you know.. Everything. Covering, picking me up, and yeah…. Everything." I say, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"Yeah, I am not happy about covering for him. I won't say anything for now, but we have to find a way to get you out of there." He said, wiping his nose a bit.

"Thanks. I'm sorry.. you know, for everything. I know I am a pretty shitty friend."

"Yeah, kind of." He grins a little, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Gee, thanks, Monsieur." I roll my eyes. "I'm so tired." I yawn after, turning my head to face him.

"Maybe you should sleep." He says like it's the most obvious thing.

"You know that's not going to happen. Someone gave me something for dreamless sleep, but I don't have it."

His eyes narrowed. "Who gave you what?"

"I can't tell you who, because I am sworn to secrecy. Not my secret to tell. But Oxy. I only take it when I _really_ have to sleep, every five days or so." I say through a yawn.

"I don't even know where to start on that. One, Oxy's, that's practically the same fucking thing as Heroin."

"I know, but it isn't, so I wasn't breaking a promise."

He shakes his head. "You have only been sleeping every five days? How the hell are you staying up that long? I knew you were taking something." He said, not accusingly, just in a factual voice.

"Coke, and speed." I whisper. " I was desperate. I had to push you away again, I was fucking hurting, and I was so tired of being… well.. tired." I said with a sigh.

Edward runs both hands through his hair, messing it up more than it already was. "I don't want you fucking doing that shit. That's the whole reason why I didn't want you near me in the beginning."

"I'll stop if you stop." I say, knowing it would be harder for him than me, but I knew I was giving up a lot too to do it.

He considers, sighing. "I'll fucking try, alright?" he said.

"Good. Then I will stop. I am not addicted to anything yet." I said quietly, not looking forward to the return to a no respite exhaustion.

"I don't know why I am even considering this. We barely even know each other." He says in an irritated tone.

"Because I am just the most amazing girl you have ever met, and you would do anything to make me happy. Right?" I say with a cheeky grin.

He starts chuckling. "Only you could say that after having been lit on fucking fire."

"Damn straight. Now, I know that hospital food sucks, and I am hungry. There's money in my jacket. I want real food." I said, looking right at him, daring him to refuse.

He chuckles again before shaking his head. "I'm not taking your money. What do you want?"

"Bacon cheese burger." I grin a little, and he nods before leaving.

* * *

_I really hope you enjoyed the chapter, and have some questions answered! Don't kill me! I promise that we are going to have some lighter chapters soon as a respite. __**R&R**__! Thank you!_


	10. Chapter 10: Changes

_Hey! So this is the biggest chapter I have done so far, but it is also a nice respite. There is some seriousness in it, but nothing major, a nice break from all of the majorness! We get to spend some time with other people, and hopefully get some laughs in too! I really hope you enjoy it!_

_Please __**R&R**__! pretty please with cherries on top!  
Also, thank you to everyone who has been reviewing, I can never thank you enough! I also am thankful to everyone who adds this story to their favorites, or chooses to follow it. You guys all really keep me motivated, and let me know that it's totally worth it!_

_Thank you!_

_Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I just mess with her characters._

* * *

**Chapter 10: Changes**

_**EPOV**_

She hadn't spoken to me for a full two weeks. Two whole weeks since she essentially told me to 'Fuck Off'. I knew from the get go that there was more to it than what she was saying. I had known something was going on. Someone was hurting her, I just didn't know who, and I knew it was possible that she was hurting herself as well. She was so fucking skinny, and she always looked like she was in pain.

Part of me didn't want to get involved, because honestly, I had enough fucking problems of my own. Part of my brain though wouldn't let me move on. Ever since the day I met her, she took up her own little corner of my head, never ceasing. Where was Bella? How is she doing? Is she okay? Is she missing me? Is that what it was? Did I miss her also? I barely knew her.

I had tried to get her out of my life in the beginning to try and keep her away from what my life was. Fucking drugs, and just… running. I was constantly running from everything I wanted to forget. Can't run fast enough, so try to make it disappear with Heroin. Then when I realized how much that one was fucking my life up, I went to coke. With Coke, I could be too busy to think. Sometimes I did Ecstasy, sometimes speed. Sometimes I did some Xanax. The only thing I did regularly was coke, but it was always a distraction. I didn't want to face myself, I didn't want to face the monster I was, and am.

It started off as a way, like her, to escape nightmares, and to just be fucking numb, then it turned into more.

It had turned into living for the fucking drug.

Then I met Bella, and slowly, she fucking wormed her way into my head. I cared more about making sure she was fucking safe, then about drugs. I beat the fuck out of my best drug dealer, because he gave her heroin. I had made it nearly impossible for me to get a hold of my shit, all for what, some girl I barely knew?

A girl I barely knew, but had fucking problems. She never said it, and generally fucking joked around, but I knew she had them. I knew they were bad when she said she was jumped. I didn't know if she was or not, but either way, she was far too nonchalant about the whole thing. It wasn't the first time. Most girls would have been fucking balling their eyes out and freaking. She just… took it.

It was serious when I saw her fucking sleeping, if you could call it that. She was thrashing that night, like a woman possessed, screaming and crying in her sleep. Crying like she never let herself do when she was awake. She was begging with whatever monster haunted her, and she lost, I just knew.

As soon as I brought it up to her though, all of the things I knew were fucking going on, but didn't have answers for, she flipped, and pushed me away. I had touched on a nerve. She knew I knew more than she wanted.

I had finally given up trying to talk to her a week ago. I wanted to just say 'Fuck it, and Fuck her too'. I couldn't. She had me wrapped around her tiny fucking fingers, whether she knew it or not.

That's why I didn't even hesitate when I got a call from my sister earlier today, begging me to go to Bella's house. Alice didn't know why, but she was scared. I knew it was bad if Bella was actually asking for help. That wasn't her. Her pride would never allow her to ask for help unless it was fucking serious.

I drove down there as soon as I hung up. Luckily the Chief wasn't home, then again, I doubt she would have called if he had been.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when I got in there. I called out to her, and her voice sounded so fucking weak. I followed her voice, and the sight of her would probably be burned into my retinas for the rest of my life. She was fucking broken, leaning against the wall with the phone on the floor beside her. She had no color to her face, and her legs… oh fucking hell, her legs. The jeans were burned through in two large holes, one per leg. The flesh underneath was so badly burned that I could still smell the burning flesh. They were covered in burned blood. She had blood on the side of her neck that looked like it came from her scalp. She was just… broken.

The worst part though, was the agonized screams when I picked her up. Bella was fucking strong. She was walking around after getting beaten an inch from her life. She didn't fucking complain, she never showed weakness if she could help it. The sound was deafening, and made my stomach drop. I was causing that fucking pain, just from moving her. I had to move her though, it was the only way I could get her help.

Then she told me some of what had been going on. I knew now that it was Charlie, her father, who had been fucking hurting her, who did this to her. She begged me not to tell, and I damn well had every intention of fucking telling anyone who would fucking listen to get her help. That was until she explained about Riley, the boy in our class who had gone missing years ago, her friend from way back when. I knew then, that if I told, and anything fucking happened to me, or anyone else, she would blame herself, like she did with Riley. So I agreed for now.

I was determined though, we would find a way to get her out of this.

"Welcome to In and Out Burger, how may I help you?" I bored voice called through the intercom.

"Yeah, two bacon double cheeseburger meals with fries and chocolate shakes." I said into the intercom, watching the screen carefully to make sure she didn't screw up the super fucking easy order.

"That'll be sixteen dollars and thirty seven cents." She says in the same bored tone before I drive to the pickup window to grab our food.

After picking up the food, I immediately head back towards the hospital. I had to go to the next town over, since In and Out burger was the only place open this time of night without going all the way to Port Angelus or Seattle.

When I got back, I headed right back up to her room, knocking before entering.

She was laying there looking exhausted, which really wasn't that unusual, but the corners of her lips lifted in a slight smile.

"That smells amazing." She says as she forces herself into a sitting position. I set the stuff down and go to help her, but she is already up before I get there.

"I haven't had a burger from In and Out in so long. I love their stuff." She says as she grabs one of the bags. "Thanks Monsieur."

"Heh, no problem. Are you ever going to stop calling me that?" I asked, honestly just curious.

"Nope. Even if I were to fall _madly in love_ with you, and think you farted stars out of your ass, and pissed pure sunshine, you will still be Monsieur Dirt Bag to me. It's an affectionate thing." She grins widely.

I couldn't help it, I fucking busted out laughing right there. This chick was fucking something else, what, I wasn't sure.

"So then, I take it you aren't madly in love with me, and think I fart stars and whatever?" I say after getting my laughter under control.

"Nope. You are pretty hot without a shirt, but I am pretty sure your farts still stink."

"How do you know stars don't stink? They are just gas after all."

"Burning pretty gas." She amends, giggling a little.

I shake my head, still laughing. I hadn't laughed like that in a long fucking time. "so, hungry then after all that talk of bodily functions?"

"Starved." She grinned, and demonstrated by taking a big bite out of her burger. She nearly moaned from the taste, and I grimaced a little, feeling my pants tighten at the sound. _Seriously Cullen, she is in a fucking hospital bed after getting fucking torched, wrong fucking reaction._

_ "_Good then?" I asked to hide my sudden slight discomfort.

"Amazing." She said before grabbing her drink and taking a pull. Her eyes widen in surprise and a grin formed. "Chocolate shake, my favorite. How did you know?"

"Everyone likes chocolate shakes." I shrugged. I also figured more calories. She clearly wasn't anorexic, so maybe Charlie just didn't feed her? I could fix that at least. I may not be able to get her out of Charlie's today, or even this week, but I could make sure she was fucking eating.

"What are you thinking about? You just got all serious." She asked as she plucked a fry out of the bag and popped it into her mouth.

"I was thinking of a plan." I said honestly.

"A plan? We already decided that you wouldn't tell anyone."

"You decided, and I understand your reasons. That is the only reason I am not fucking telling anyone. But we need to try to find a way to keep you safe."

"I can handle myself. I won't put you in danger." She said.

"Sure you can. Is that why you are currently in the hospital with third degree burns on your legs?" I ask sarcastically.

"Yes actually, because I survived this long." She said stubbornly.

"Well, That isn't good enough for me. Here is what I was thinking." I start

"That's the burning smell? I thought that was me." She jokes.

"Ha Ha." I roll my eyes. "You can stay at my house for the most part. Now my parents will get suspicious if you _never_ go home, and so will your dad, right?" I ask.

"Yeah. " she nods.

"Okay, so when you have to go home, go home at your normal time, and I will come check up on you at night, once I am sure your dad is asleep."

"And how do you plan to do that without getting caught?" she asks, quirking her eyebrow.

I thought about a minute, then remembered the tree outside of her house. Maybe that was in front of her window? "What room upstairs is that tree in front of?"

"Charlie's room." She says seriously.

"Really?" I sighed.

"No. My room." She grinned a little bit.

"This isn't really a fucking joking matter." I said

"Nope, you sneaking into my room in the cheesiest, most cliché ever in the middle of the night isn't a joking matter at all." She says, trying to look serious, but a smile pulling up the corners of her mouth.

I try to get mad, but I can't help but chuckle at her. "You aren't making this any easier."

"That's because it won't be easy." She said in all seriousness.

"I know that. Trust me, I fucking know that."

"Why do you care so much?" She asked, tilting her head to the side a bit.

"Honestly? I don't fucking know. You have… been in my head ever since I met you. Usually I don't give too shits. Now though? You're my friend. I can't let my friend be hurt." I said honestly.

"Friend huh?" she said, looking somehow happy, yet also a little sad at the same time.

"Yeah, friend." I reinforced. "So that means when shit gets bad, you need to call me, so that I can get you out."

"Once it's safe for you." She amends.

I sigh, gritting my teeth, but I knew it's the only way she would agree. "Sure."

A moment later, there was a knock on the door, and Carlisle steps in.

"I hope I am not interrupting anything." He says.

"Nope." Bella responds.

"Edward, Bella needs her rest. You can come get her in the morning, alright?"

I look over at her, and she nods at me, motioning that its fine. Rest my ass, she is just going to be bored out of her ass for the next several hours.

"Alright. Enjoy the meal. I'll be back in a few hours." I say.

"Alright. Thanks for coming, and for the non hospital, super amazing delicious bacon burgers."

I chuckle, shaking my head. "Night Bella."

"Night Monsieur. Don't go farting any stars tonight." She grins

Carlisle gives us a questioning look, and I just shake my head, holding back another laugh as I leave.

Now, all that's left for tonight, is to fucking flush the coke. I really hope I don't fucking regret this.

**_BPOV_**

After Edward and Doctor Carlisle leave, I lay back down on the bed, and stare out the window. It doesn't take long for my mind to wander back to the events of earlier. The smell of burning flesh. The feel of the flames burning through my skin.

I shudder as I try to expel that thought. I already missed Edward being here. He was fun, and kind of sweet when he wasn't being an asshole. Then again, we both have been assholes to each other.

I knew already that Edward's plan wouldn't work. As it was, I barely went home. About the only thing he could prevent would be the long term punishments, like the one during the Christmas holidays. It didn't take very long for him to do real damage.

I didn't want Edward getting involved, but I also knew he wasn't going to back off. I owed him some truth after he came and got me after everything, and had to see me like that. He didn't know everything though. I still hadn't told him about my mom, or about the other ways Charlie recently started abusing me. That was burden alone to carry.

I wasn't one of those twisted victims who thought I deserved it. I didn't think I was a whore because my dad assaulted me. I knew better. I didn't want it, and I didn't ask for it, it was just another form of abuse, just like the others.

It didn't mean it didn't fucking suck though, or hurt like hell. That's why I simply refused to think about it.

I looked around for something to do, and noticed the TV on the wall. I grabbed a remote off the night stand and turned it on, and switched it to comedy central. Tank girl was on, I could dig that, even if it was censored.

When Edward came back around nine in the morning, I was still watching Comedy central. I was fucking exhausted, but I wasn't going to sleep, especially here. Last thing I needed was to be found screaming and tossing in my sleep. That was a sure way to get more questions I didn't want to answer, or even worse, a psych evaluation.

Carlisle walked in behind Edward, and looked at the TV disapprovingly. He had popped in a few times to check on me, so he must have noticed that I never went to sleep.

"Hey, ready to go?" Edward asked.

"Hell to the yes." I said, sitting up, then wincing a little bit from my ribs.

"Hold on a moment." Carlisle interrupts us, and walks in between us.

"Bella, this is a prescription for a fairly strong pain medication. I want you to take it very sparingly, since your weight is so low. Also, I also let Esme, my wife know, that you were coming home with Esme. She set up the guest room for you. I will check on you when I get home later." He says as he walks over to me. He reaches over to put a hand on my shoulder, but I flinch back automatically, and Edward intercepts, grabbing Carlisle's arm before he could touch me. Carlisle gave him a questioning look, but Edward just shook his head.

I looked over at Edward with a thankful expression, and he simply nodded at me. He had barely been around me recently, but seemed to understand that I wouldn't let most guys touch me.

"I will see you later Bella." He says, before leaving the room, looking like he has more questions than he did before.

"Ready to go?" Edward asks.

"Beyond ready. I just need my clothes." I say, motioning towards the hospital gown.

"Oh right. Since your jeans are kind of… erm—Toast, I brought you a pair of sweats and a clean T-shirt."

"Oh, thanks." I said, smiling a little.

He nods, before setting them on the bed next to me and leaving the room so I can change.

I pull the gown off, and swing my legs with much difficulty to hang over the side of the bed. Getting the pants on is pure fucking hell. Luckily, it doesn't seem to hurt quite as much as yesterday, probably because of the meds, but it still fucking is some of the worst pain I have ever had. After I get those on, the shirt is easy as pie, because I have spent more time with broken ribs than without in the last several years.

"Your eyes shalt no longer burn if you enter." I call out, and he walks in with a grin as I slide myself off the bed. In a moment he is at my side catching me as my legs buckle immediately under my weight.

"Don't do that!" he chastised.

"Carlisle said I would be able to walk again almost immediately!" I said, wincing through the pain.

"Almost immediately still means not immediately. Give it a couple days." He says before picking me up bridal style.

"I think you just want to carry me over the threshold." I grin a little, leaning my head against his shoulder tiredly.

"Oh yeah, completely." He jokes, shaking his head.

"You know you want to. I mean seriously, I have enough baggage that you won't even need to buy furniture!" I grin.

"Keep it up, and I will drop you _on_ the threshold." He says while trying to suppress another chuckle.

"Kinky."

He starts laughing so hard that his whole chest vibrates me with the action, and I can't help but laugh with him as he starts carrying us out of the hospital and to his car.

When we get to his car, he sets me down gently into the seat before going to the other side, and starting the car. "I think mom is making a big breakfast since she heard you are coming over. I hope you like pancakes." He said.

"I haven't had those… wow… since I was like six years old, and my mom made them." I said

"Where is your mom anyway?" He asks, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Um, well.. She's dead." I mutter, looking out the window, trying not to think of the images that one sentence invokes in my head.

"I'm sorry." He doesn't say anything else on the subject, seemingly being able to tell I don't want to go into it right now.

"So how are you doing with.. you know? I know it's only been a few hours… but…" I ask, turning to watch him.

"Don't know yet. It takes about twelve hours for me to start getting withdrawals. I flushed it though. You are damn fucking lucky I like you, because I wouldn't do that shit for anyone else." He said, trying to sound angry, but he really just sounded anxious.

"Thank you." I said simply.

He just nods .

We ride the rest of the way to his house in comfortable silence. When we get there, he gets out, and walks over. He was about to pick me up, but I shake my head. "I'll lean. I don't want Alice to think the worst." I explain, and he nods in understanding, grabbing my arm and helping me up. He supports pretty much all of my weight as I struggle to even move my legs forward. The pain is intense, but luckily the steps do get easier the more I force it, and it makes some of the skin become not as tight.

When we get inside, a woman with caramel colored hair, and hazel eyes runs over to me, wrapping both Edward and I in a giant hug. I blink a little, having never met this woman before, but am fairly sure she was Esme, Edward's mother.

"Oh dear, I was so worried when I heard!" She gushes, wiping a tear out of her eye. I look at her, feeling my face soften a little. She had never met me, and I worried her as much as if I was someone she knew all of her life. I was touched.

"I'm so sorry, where are my manners. You probably think I'm some crazy old bat. I am Esme, Carlisle's wife, and Edwards step mom." She says. I blink, not knowing that she wasn't Edward's actual mom. I doubted that mattered much though. She seemed to love enough to count as more than any blood mother, or father.

"It's very nice to meet you, Esme. Thank you for letting me stay here for a couple days." I smile politely.

"Oh no dear, make yourself right at home! I don't even want to think of you being all alone while your dad is at his friends house, and you're healing." She smiles, her eyes still sad. I knew in that moment that I loved Esme. She reminded me of what I wish I had, a parent that loved me. It was sad, but also a happy feeling, having a parental love, even if it wasn't my parent.

"Thank you so much." I say, smiling at her, hoping my voice conveyed all that I am thanking her for in that moment.

"Oh, well, Why don't you go on and have a seat. Breakfast is almost ready. I didn't know what you liked, so there is a little bit of everything. Eggs, Sausage, bacon, pancakes, fruits, toast, and hash browns."

I could feel my mouth drop at the idea of someone doing all of that, just because I was coming over.

"Don't worry squirt, She cooks like that all time, even if it is just for Sunday breakfast." Emmett grinned.

My eyes widened even larger. I couldn't even imagine what it was like to be treated like that.

Alice looked at me. "The look on your face is hilarious!" she giggled, snorting a little. "You look like someone just told you that it was raining benjamins!"

"No, I am just amazed. Your mother is amazing." I say, smiling, trying to keep the sadness from my eyes.

"Isn't your mom like that?" She inquires. Edward looks at Alice then, and shakes his head, deflecting the question. I smile at him appreciatively.

A few minutes later, the table is loaded up with breakfastpalooza. I grabbed a little bit of everything, loading up my plate. "Thank you so much, again, Esme." I smile, and she smiles back.

"Oh, it's no trouble at all." She smiles.

Emmett then grins. "Lets dig in!", and dig in he did. His plate was piled high with massive amounts of food that he just shoveled disgustingly.

"Ignore Emmett" Alice said as she munched on some fruit and pancakes. "He's a pig." She grins.

"Ahm m-notfh" Emmett said through a mouthful of pancake and egg.

"Emmett! Do not talk with your mouth full!" Esme admonished, and I found myself giggling at the cliché. I didn't think any family was really like this, it was amazing.

Edward was watching me with amusement as I took in the scene, and even started laughing when he saw my face when Emmett piled a third helping of everything on his plate. I still hadn't finished my one plate, and I hadn't made it dainty like Alice's!

Finally, after everyone was done, Edward helped me up, and I smiled at Esme. "Thank you for breakfast. Do you want help cleaning up?" I offered.

"Oh no, no dear! You just go relax upstairs. You need some rest. You just let anyone know if you need anything." She smiled warmly at me.

"Alright, Thank you." I smiled as Edward and I made our way carefully up the stairs. Instead of going to the guest room, we headed to his room.

"I figured you might get bored in there. When night comes, Esme will probably insist you go in there though, you being female and all." Edward explains.

"I have been in here before though." I said, confused.

"She, nor Carlisle knew you were here."

"Ohh. Do you bring girls in here often?" I raised my eyebrows suggestively, grinning a little.

"No. Never. I don't even let Jazz come up here often." He said in all seriousness.

"Really?" I asked surprised.

"Really. This is kind of… my sanctuary. I don't let people into this part of my life." He answers.

"But you have let me in multiple times." I conclude

He simply nods. I wondered why, but I knew better than to ask. I doubt he would have an answer.

There was a knock on the door a few minutes later.

"Who is it?" Edward calls.

"It's Alice. I want to kidnap Bella." She said in her tinkling voice.

He looks over at me, and I shrug. "Doesn't bother me. I miss her, I haven't seen her in a few days anyway. Plus, I am sure she was worried." I reasoned.

He nods. "Alright. We'll be right there, okay Alice?" He calls out to her.

He helps me up, and then brings me to Alice's room, where he carefully sits me down on her bed. "When you're ready to come back, just have Alice come get me." He says, before leaving me alone with Alice.

"So… What happened?" Alice asked after Edward left the room.

"I erm… I really don't want to talk about it." I answered, not wanting to lie to her. Plus, I honestly didn't remember entirely what story Edward had told his father.

"I understand. You know, I have never seen Edward act like that before…. At least not since he was a kid." She says thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?" I inquire.

"Nice. Sweet. He's smiling, and laughing. He isn't being a jackass 100% of the time, only some of the time. I think he is even cleaning up his act a bit, less drugs." She said thoughtfully.

I blinked a little bit, remembering that Edward told me that Alice didn't know about the drugs.

She seemed to read the look on my face. "I know he doesn't know I know. We all know. That is why Rosie doesn't like you. She thinks you are a druggy that will just pull him under. I don't think so though. I think you will be the one to pull him out." She said smiling.

"I don't know about that. What if I end up pulling him into something he can't handle?" I ask sadly.

"You'd be surprised. All I know however, is that he is changing, for the better, and that started after he met you. I think you are good for him. Now we just have to wait for him to realize he is in love with you." She said with no hint of humor.

"Alice, your brother is not in love with me." I said, scoffing.

"He is, just like you love him too." She sounded sure.

"Are you sure you aren't the one on drugs?" I laughed, feeling a little uncomfortable. I did not love Edward. Like him as a friend? Definitely. Think he is hot as hell? Definitely, I had eyes. Trust him? Maybe. Crushing a little? Likely. Love? I don't think so. I don't even think I am capable of love.

"Ha Ha. You both will realize it eventually. I know it." She grins

"Whatever pixie." I shake my head with a slight grin.

"So, what shall I do today. You totally have bed head. " She taps a finger on her chin, looking in deep thought.

"Um… I'm not really going anywhere, so it doesn't matter, does it?" I ask.

Wrong question.

"Of course it matters! Your appearance _always_ matters." She said before getting up, and pulling over the chair from her vanity which had wheels on the bottom. "Come on, we are going to wash your hair." She said.

I looked at her, and nodded a little, knowing I definitely wouldn't mind that one. I felt kind of gross with my hair dirty.

With surprising strength for someone so tiny, she helps me onto the chair, before rolling me into the adjacent bathroom. She then pumps the back of it so it lowers so my back is laying prone on the seat. She then starts the shower, and pulls off the shower head.

When she washes my hair, it's all sorts of heaven with the feel of the hot water massaging my scalp and her fingers doing the same. I had never been to a hair dresser before, so this is the first time I had ever felt so… pampered in this way.

After my hair was washed, she dried it, and started styling it. She left it down again, but this time, instead of curls, she straightened it. When she was done, it was super shiny again, and very sleek, with just the right about of bounce.

"Wow, Alice, you are amazing." I smile.

"I'm not done yet!" She grins, getting out some makeup.

"Oh geeze. Makeup?" I complain.

"Don't 'oh geeze' me! You had me worried sick! The least you could do is let me have fun, and let me bring out your beauty." She said with a pout.

When she put it like that, my hands were tied, especially with the pout. I was putty. "Sure Alice, have at it." I gave a martyred sigh.

"That's what I thought." She said, suddenly giving me a satisfied smile. Manipulative pixie.

She spent the next twenty minutes doing my makeup. She didn't do anything extreme, just some foundation that covered the bruising, and some green and silver eye shadow lightly applied with lip gloss and some mascara. "I am not going to give you blush, because you already have such a pretty blush." She says with a smile.

"And, you are all done! I am going to go get Edward now to get you! Oh, and just so you know, the whole gang is getting together tonight for movies, so I am going to send you with some clothes for that, so you don't have to go in Edward's sweats." She scowls as she says sweats, like it's a sin.

"Alright, thank you Alice." I said, knowing better than to fight it. That was just how Alice was.

Alice left, and came back a minute later with Edward behind her. He froze the moment he entered, looking at me, something I didn't recognize in his eyes, as he stood there staring at me. Alice stood beside him just looking smug.

_ Holy Crap! Edward Cullen is looking at me like… like a man looks at a beautiful woman. What the hell is going on?_

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_Thank you again for reading! I hope you continue to enjoy! More chapters to come soon, possibly tonight! please __**R&R**__! I love you all!_


	11. Chapter 11: Connections

_So we have another mostly lighter chapter! I warn, it is going to get serious again after this, but I figured you all could do with a little fluff mixed in. I hope you guys are squealing with yay by the end! I am!_

Please R&R! And thank you to everyone who has been, as always, I very much appreciate it.

_Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight._

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**Chapter 11: Connections**

_**BPOV**_

Alice left, and came back a minute later with Edward behind her. He froze the moment he entered, looking at me, something I didn't recognize in his eyes, as he stood there staring at me. Alice stood beside him just looking smug.

_Holy Crap! Edward Cullen is looking at me like… like a man looks at a beautiful woman. What the hell is going on?_

"Hey Eddie, doesn't Bella look amazing?!" Alice asked, bouncing up and down, and just like that, the spell was broken. He tore his gaze away from me to look down at Alice.

"Um, Yeah, she looks nice. I hope you didn't do anything against her will…" He muttered, looking a little flustered, the back of his neck and his ears red.

"Never! It was fun, wasn't it Bella?" Alice says, looking to me.

"Yeah, it was fun." I said, still staring at Edward, trying to decipher his reaction.

"Good. Okay then, lets go." He said somewhat awkwardly.

"Oh, Edward, these are clothes for Bella for when everyone comes over later." Alice says, handing him some clothes. It looked like some sort of top and a pair of jeans, and even undergarments.

"Does she really need to get dressed up? It's only Rose and Jasper coming over." He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course? Haven't you learned _anything_ dear brother? Fashion is always important." She says with a no bullshit look on her face.

"Sure, whatever." He shrugs, raising his arms in defeat.

"That's what I thought." She said, before skipping over to me and giving me a hug. "See you later! And think about what I said!" She said.

Edward quirks his eyebrow at us in question.

"Girl talk." I shrugged, and he just nodded, clearly not interested in finding out.

Edward then comes over, and helps me up. As soon as we get out of her room, he notices how sluggish I am trying to keep up. I was getting exhausted, and my legs were starting to hurt more. He notices, and picks me up the rest of the way. I don't fight it, and just lean my head on his shoulder tiredly.

"I think you should try to catch a nap." He said seriously, looking down at me. "I'll wake you up." He then added when he saw I was about to protest.

"Alright." I say quietly.

He brings me into his room, and sets me on his bed, bringing the blankets up, before settling in on the sofa, leaning back, and pulling out a notebook.

"What do you write in there anyway?" I yawn out curiously.

"Mostly just song lyrics, sometimes other shit. It's kind of personal though." He says.

"Oh, alright." I say, knowing that means he wasn't going to elaborate.

"Sleep." He orders gently, and I nod.

As soon as I close my eyes, it doesn't take me long to fall asleep

_I run out of the closet the moment I hear the door close behind daddy, and run into the living room. Immediately, I stop dead in my tracks. Mommy is laying on the floor, blood surrounding her. She has a gash in her head, and a wound in her chest with a knife sticking out, blood everywhere. Her head is at an unnatural angle, staring directly with unseeing blank eyes. _

_ I run over, knowing she is dead, but not believing it. I shake her, crying, and beg her to wake up. I beg and I beg, but she doesn't move. I scream, I remove the knife, thinking somehow that if I take it out, she will suddenly revive, but instead, more blood just starts coming out. I scream in horror as my hands become covered in her blood, and I try in vain to try to wake her up again. "Mom! Mommy! Wake up! Please! Please mommy, Wake up!" _

_ "Wake up! Bella, Wake up!"_

"Wake up Bella!" I heard as my eyes snap open, finding myself staring directly into a pair of emerald green eyes. I am shaking all over, and covered in cold sweat again, the sheets tangled around me, and I feel like my heart is about to beat right out of my chest. I feel wetness on my cheeks, and quickly wipe away the traitorous tears as I get my emotions in check.

"I'm sorry Bella, I fell asleep. I would have woken you up sooner. I'm sorry." He said, sitting down beside me.

I searched his face, trying to distract myself from the dream I just had while my heart slowed back to its normal pace. He looked really tired himself, and his hands were shaking a little bit.

"Are you okay Edward?" I ask quietly, my voice rasping from the screaming I was surely doing.

"You're asking me?" He says half jokingly.

"Yeah… you look exhausted. Oh my god. You were probably up all night last night because of me, I am so sorry!" I realized suddenly.

"It's not an issue. Really."

"You're shaking." I state.

"That's not from lack of sleep."

"Withdrawals?" I ask quietly.

He swallows a lump in his throat before nodding.

"I'm sorry." I say again, feeling horrible for making him quit, even if I knew logically it was for the best, I knew it was making him suffer.

"Don't be. I should have quit the shit long ago anyway." He said quietly.

"You should have." I agree.

"At least you never sugarcoat shit." He grins a little bit.

"Nope, not unless it's my own life. That shit should come with a parental advisory message." I grin a little back at him.

"Yeah." He says with a sigh. "Want to talk about it? The dream?" He asks.

I shake my head quickly. "No. Maybe sometime, but not right now." I say, just needing to distance myself from it.

"Alright." He said. "Well, I think Jasper and Rose are here anyway."

"How long was I asleep?" I ask curiously.

"Only about two hours." He says with a sigh.

"Wow, that's a lot of sleep." I said.

He glares a little. "Hardly."

"For me it is."

He just shakes his head, his eyebrows furrowing. "Let's go" , he says before he hands me the clothes Alice sent with him.

"Do I have to?" I mutter, and he grins.

"Do you want to risk pissing off Alice?" he asks with a small smirk.

"Um… yeah, no. Okay, I will be a moment." I say, and he nods, leaving the room for a minute so I can change.

The clothes are way worse to put on than his, since the jeans were tight, but once they are on, they almost feel better than the sweats since they are putting a gentle pressure over the bandages. I then force my way to my feet, wincing, but manage to make it to his bathroom. I have an internal happy dance at my ability to be able to walk a little already, before I fix the makeup that Alice had put on me.

After I was done in the bathroom, I made my way to the door to the bedroom, and opened it to find a very surprised Edward on the other side.

"Damn, that was fast. I should have known you were too stubborn to let a major injury like that keep you down for long." He shakes his head in amazement.

"I've had worse." I shrugged, but his face darkened at that.

"Than that?" he asked, his voice a whisper.

"Yeah. That was the worst… pain wise, but not in severity." I said evenly.

"Remind me why I am allowing him to live?" he asked.

"Because you would go to jail if you murdered him, and if you tell anyone, you could be another Riley, or you could put your family in danger." I say evenly.

His eyebrows furrow, before he wraps an arm around my waist to help me down the stairs, not saying another word.

"I don't like it." He mutters quietly when we get to the bottom of the stairs.

"I know. I'm sorry." I say equally quiet.

"Don't apologize. None of this is your fault." He says.

"I know it's not. But I am sorry I dragged you into my life."

"You didn't. I would have found out eventually. I wasn't going to allow you to stay away much longer." He said seriously

"Really now?" I ask, curious. "Why is that?"

"I don't know." He answers honestly.

"Alright." I say in acceptance.

We continue into the living room after that, where Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmet are already sitting, fighting over which movie to put in.

"You got to pick last time! I want 'When in Rome'!" Alice complains.

"No way! That is a total chick flick! Jazz and I will start like, getting a period or something if we watch that!"

Jasper grins "What about Edward?"

"He already has his." Emmett says before guffawing.

Edward smacks Emmett over the top of his head as we pass by. "Dick."

Rosalie is suppressing a giggle as she cuddles into Emmett's side.

"Just for that, I am taking movie choice out of Emmett's hands." Edward says.

Emmett stares at him like he is surprised. "Since when do you give a shit what we watch?"

"When you accuse me of having a fucking period." He grins.

Jasper laughs, and pulls a movie out. "How about The Amazing Spiderman. That's a good movie. Even the chicks like it."

Alice grins. "Yeah, I like that one!"

Rosalie shrugs. "That works for me."

Edward looks down at me, clearly waiting for my opinion. I shrug. "I haven't seen it, but it sounds good." I smile.

Rosalie rolls her eyes. "Who cares what she thinks?" she says to herself.

I narrow my eyes at her, really tired of her shit. "Go on ahead, and keep rolling your eyes at me. Maybe you'll find a brain somewhere in there. I would appreciate it if you would stop fucking judging me. If you don't want me to judge you for the frigid, snotty, stuck up bitch that you are, than stop judging me for the nothing you know about me." I rant.

Rosalie glares, but doesn't say anything for a minute. Everyone is just staring at the two of us in awe. "Whatever." She mutters.

"That's what I thought." I snap back at her.

Edward grins a little to himself, obviously pleased at me putting her in her place.

Alice shot me a grin, and Emmett gives me an apologetic shrug. Jasper just looks entertained.

Edward and I take a seat on the one empty couch as Jasper sticks the Blu-ray into the player.

Edward doesn't take his arm away from around my waist, so I lean my head against his shoulder tiredly. I notice Alice shooting us another smug look, so I just stick my tongue out at her.

As the movie starts, Esme comes in with popcorn and a few pizzas for all of us. We all grab pizza, and Emmett eats almost an entire one to himself. I eat three slices, fully satiated, and then continue to lean on Edward for the rest of the movie, fully enjoying the warmth and safety it feels like. I had never felt this secure, without a drug anyway. This was way better though. I know he didn't actually feel anything for me like what Alice was suggesting, however I couldn't help enjoying it. However, as we sat there like that, I thought back to our conversation. Did I have a thing for Edward?

Did I love Edward? I barely knew him.

That was a lie. I had not known him for long, but he knew me better already than anyone. I was also fairly certain he had shared things with me that he hadn't shared with anyone else either. We did know each other. That didn't answer the question though, did I love him? Was I even capable of love after everything?

I decided to stop trying to think about it for now, and just resolved to enjoy the moment. Even if I did love him, it did not matter in the least, because I knew he didn't feel the same. I would rather just take what I could get, and this was far more than I had ever gotten.

I sighed contently, burrowing my head in a little deeper into his shoulder. He started absentmindedly stroking my hair while watching the moment, and I smiled despite myself. It felt so nice.

I don't remember what happened by the end of the movie, because I had fallen asleep at some point. I woke up when he gently shook me. It was dark in the living room now, and everyone was gone. I wiped the sleep out of my eyes, feeling slightly refreshed. "What time is it?" I yawned out, noticing I was still nestled under his arm.

"About one a.m." he whispered, yawning himself. He clearly fell asleep as well.

"Holy crap.. five hours?" I asked, astounded. I had slept five solid hours, without a single nightmare.

He nodded, and glanced down at me. "You didn't dream, did you?" He asked, sounding slightly awed.

I shook my head. "No, not at all."

"When was the last time that happened? Without help from a substance?" he asked seriously.

"When I was six years old." I answered.

He stared at me a moment, like he was trying to process what this meant. I hadn't slept soundly for almost eleven years, until this very moment.

"It was probably just the atmosphere. It was really comfortable in here." I said, not wanting to freak him out.

"Maybe." He said thoughtfully.

"Kids, you guys should head to bed." I heard from behind us. I nearly jumped out of my skin until I saw it was just Esme in her nightgown.

"Sorry mom, we just fell asleep." He said.

"I know honey. You two looked so sweet there, I didn't want to wake you up." She said with a smile, and I felt my face heat up. I noticed the back of Edward's ears got red as well, and I stifled a giggle.

"Alright, up to bed you two." Esme said with a kind smile. We both nodded before getting up. Edward walked with his hand around my waist, not holding me up, but there in case I needed the help.

I made it most of the way up the stairs without help, before it was too much and he helped, but then went back to letting me go on my own once we were on the second floor. I liked that he understood my need to be independent when I could be.

He walked me to the guest room, and stopped at the doorway. "If you can't sleep, you know where to find me." He said quietly. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Actually… Edward, could I grab that book I was reading last time? Wuthering Heights?" I asked.

He sighed a little, knowing that meant I had no intention of trying to sleep. "Sure."

"Thanks. Don't worry, I feel all sorts of refreshed. That is seven hours in one day. I haven't slept that much in years." I smiled at him, but he just furrowed his brows before walking away to go get the book.

I sat down on the bed. It was super comfortable. The room had gray carpeting, and purple walls with black stencil Celtic knot work around the parameter of the room. The curtains were sheer black, and the furniture was all cherry wood. There was an HD TV on the wall, and the comforter set on the bed was a plum color with black and grey accents. The whole room was perfect.

Edward came back a moment later with the book in hand. He brought it over, setting it down on the night stand. "Goodnight Bella." He said quietly, looking down at me like he wanted to say more. His hands were still shaking, but he looked oddly calm, if not a little conflicted.

"Goodnight Monsieur." I said back with a smile. Edward's lips lifted in response before he left the room, shutting the door softly behind him.

I lay down on the bed, and grabbed the book off the night stand. I spent the rest of the night reading until morning.

I left the bedroom as soon as I heard movement outside of my room, which was around six am, since it was now Monday, a school day.

I heard an annoying buzzing sound, and followed it to Edward's door. I waited for him to turn it off, but it didn't turn off. Worried, I knocked. When he didn't answer, I opened the door, and went in.

When I entered, I shut the door behind me, then looked at him on the bed. The sight was heartbreaking. He was curled up in a ball, gripping his blankets so tight his knuckles were white, and he was tossing and turning. His eyes were clenched tight, and his eyebrows were furrowed. He was having a nightmare, because he didn't have the drugs to keep them away.

I went over as quickly as my legs would allow, and turned off his alarm clock before leaning over him. I nervously bit my lip as I gently stroked his hair away from his face. He seemed to minutely calm down, so I gently tried shaking him awake, whispering. "Edward, wake up." I whispered. I felt a sudden déjà vu, remembering the last time I had tried to wake someone up. That last time though, I knew they wouldn't wake.

I stopped that chain of thought when he didn't wake, and just shook him a little harder, and spoke directly into his ear. "Edward, it's only a dream, please wake up." I said.

He seemed to stir a little more, but still didn't wake. I chewed on my lip, as I thought of what to do that wouldn't alert everyone else to this. I leaned down, and spoke a little more into his ear, louder this time, while shaking him. "Edward, Wake up, you have to wake up now, because it's a bad dream, and I know you would rather be awake." I said.

Finally he jolted awake, sitting up quickly as his head collided with mine with a loud "smack!"

"Oww!" "Fuck" we said in unison.

"Bella?" he asked, confused, and a little disoriented, and looking like he was trying to calm down. "What are you doing in here?"

"Your alarm was going off, and you weren't waking up. I came in and…"

"I was having a fucking nightmare." He said grimly.

"You haven't had one for awhile." I stated.

"Not since I started using." He said quietly.

"Is your head okay?"

"Yeah, yours?" he asks

"Yeah." I shrug. "Do you want to talk about it?" I offer.

"Not right now, no." He says, giving me the same response I gave him yesterday.

He sighs, and gets up, heading towards the bathroom without another word.

I stand and pace his room a little. My legs were still not working well, but the more I used them, the better they seemed to work, and I had every intention of going to school. I didn't really want to sit here while everyone else was in school.

He comes out of the bathroom twenty minutes, clad again in nothing but a towel, looking far more relaxed, and still fucking sexy as hell.

I could feel my cheeks heat up again as he chuckled. "That never gets any less entertaining. You should see your face, it's the color of a fucking tomato." He said.

Sure enough, my face gets even redder, and instead of trusting myself to speak, I just flip him off.

"You wish." He says, laughing. My face gets even hotter if possible.

"I have to go get ready." I say, frustrated.

"Ready for what?" He asks.

"School."

"You aren't going to school like that."

"I'm fine. I have had WAY worse, and I will be bored shitless waiting for everyone else to get home from school. Plus, you won't even be here, because you can't skip anymore."

He sighs. "Are you a masochist?"

"Maybe. " I shrug, daring another glance at the sexy half naked man in front of me.

"Figures. Whatever, you bring that one up with Carlisle." He says with a smirk.

"I will." I say as I walk out of his room. I slowly make my way down the stairs, holding onto the railing. When I get downstairs, Carlisle is sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and reading the paper.

"Bella, how are you feeling?" He asks, a hint of shock in his face to see me walking around so soon.

"Excellent actually. I haven't even been needing the pain meds you gave me." Which was the truth. The burns only really hurt a lot when there was major friction there. They constantly burned a little, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I had a very high pain tolerance.

"Really?" He looked astounded.

"I have a high pain tolerance." I shrug.

He looks concerned by that statement, but says nothing.

"Anyway, I wanted to know if I could get the okay to go to school? I don't really want to miss anymore. I have already missed a few days this year, and I am sure I will be fine."

Carlisle assesses me for a moment, then sets his coffee down. "Let me take a look at the burns first. If there is no infection, and they are healing right, then I don't see why not, but I will write you a note to get you out of gym."

"Works for me. Thanks Carlisle." I say as I follow him to his office.

I wince as I pull down my pants down for him, and remove the bandages, since he can't touch me.

He inspects the burns closely without actually touching me. Him being so close has my palms sweating, and my heart racing uncomfortably, but I do my best to not show any discomfort. I don't want him to read more into it than he probably already has.

"They seem to be healing quite nicely. Let me get Esme in here to help you wrap them back up, alright?"

"There's no need, I can do it myself. I am pretty good at wrapping things. Arms are way harder."

He furrows his brows, but nods before setting down some ointment and bandages next to me.

After he leaves, I clean the burns, and apply the ointment before redressing them.

I step out of the office, before going back upstairs carefully. I knock on Alice's door.

"Yeah?" she calls.

"Hey Alice, can I borrow some clothes? I don't think I have time to stop at home for some." I call through the door.

"Sure!" Alice calls as she opens the door, and drags me in with a grin before dancing over to her walk in closet. She looks over her stuff before pulling out a pair of jeans, and a long sleeved blouse. She tosses them along with a pair of underwear and a pushup bra at me. "There you go! I am doing your makeup too!"

"Do we have time for that?" I question as I step into her bathroom to change.

"Yeah, of course. I will just do it quickly." She says.

I come back out of the bathroom again once I am dressed, wincing from the jeans on the burns, but knowing it will get better as I get used to them. The jeans make almost nonexistent ass actually look halfway decent, and the long sleeved blouse hides the upper injuries, and makes me look like I have a figure. I figured if I could gain some weight I would have a pretty nice figure, but until then, this was as nice as I could look.

"You look fantastic! Okay, sit!" she calls, pointing at the chair at the vanity. She then quickly does my makeup, and puts my straightened hair up in a high ponytail, leaving my long bangs down in the front. She then curls the ends of my hair slightly. She stares at me a moment before pursing her lips. She glances at the time, then grins before pulling out a pair of scissors. I look at her in shock, but before I could stop her, she was trimming my bangs. She didn't make them short, but just angled them so they framed my face, and feathered around it. It looked amazing.

"Oh my god Alice, you are magical." I said, staring at what just the small changes did. It was amazing.

"I know. Now go catch up with Edward before he goes." She winks, before going to finish getting ready herself.

"Thanks Alice." I called as I left her bedroom. I went over to Edward's room, and knocked before walking in.

"Carlisle is letting you go?" He asked, staring at me again, his mouth slightly agape.

"Yup, and I even get to sit out of gym. I hate gym, so that's always a plus." I said with a grin.

He had that look in his eyes again, like he was devouring me. I shifted a little uncomfortably as my cheeks turned hot again.

"You're doing it again." He said in a soft voice that was mesmerizing, and just a little shy.

"Doing what?" I asked quietly, staring directly into his eyes now.

"Doing that pretty blushing thing." He said simply.

Oddly, I didn't blush more, I just nodded a little, not tearing my eyes away.

"Yo, are you guys ready yet, or what?! You don't even have time for breakfast!" Emmett yells as he slams the door open, poking his head in.

My head snaps over to his, the connection broken again.

"Yeah, We're ready." Edward said after clearing his throat.

I wasn't sure what that was, but I wasn't happy it ended.

"Let's go." Edward said, starting towards the door. On his way there, he grabbed my hand gently to pull me behind him. I couldn't help the smile that flirted across my lips then.

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_Thank you for reading! Reviews are better than a dripping wet, towel adorned Edward! Please __**R&R**__! Thank you!_


	12. Chapter 12: Bruno Mars

_So, yet another chapter. Remind me never to drink a full pot of coffee in one night again! lol. This will be another dark chapter, with some intense understandings as well. I hope you continue enjoying the story! Please please please __**R&R**__! Thank you!_

_Diclaimer: SM owns Twilight._

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**Chapter 12: Bruno Mars**

_**BPOV**_

I have been staying at the Cullen's for the last five days now. Five blissful days with the only thing I had to worry about was not falling asleep, and waking Edward up when he would go to sleep.

Even though we were both ending up pretty damned sleep deprived with the return of his nightmares, and mine constantly there still, it was still the best week I had ever had.

Alice made me up every day before school. Guys were starting to check me out at school. Granted, I didn't really like the attention all that much, but it did give me a new sense of confidence.

I had gained a few pounds already, and already felt healthy. The burns were still a pain, literally, but they were healing nicely.

Alice, Emmett, Edward and I hung out almost every night to watch movies, or play videogames. I was actually getting pretty good at shooting people up in Call of Duty. I even beat Edward once, which Emmett told me wasn't really much of an accomplishment because he "Sucks royally at this game". I was still proud though.

The very best part however, was Edward. He had been being a totally different person. I could tell he was struggling with the withdrawals still, but he seemed to be calm whenever I was around. He seemed to decide since Monday morning that my hand was his property. He would take it almost every time I was around him. Nothing else was said about it, but I really don't mind. I was thrilled. I felt safe around him, which was kind of huge. Even just being near him, I felt calmer. I knew he didn't love me, but I think he felt something towards me. Even if he just liked me as a good friend, it was more than I ever would ask for.

I had come to the conclusion though, that I definitely did like him as more than just a friend. I still hadn't decided if it was love or not, because honestly, I wasn't even sure what that was, but I knew I felt different when I was around him. I was happy.

Today however, was going to suck. I knew from experience that if I didn't make an appearance at least at my house, he would soon start looking for me, which I knew would be horrendous. Edward was not happy about the fact that I was going home today, and I didn't blame him. Neither was I. However, this was better than waiting for him to forcefully get me. He would be far more angry if it came to that.

I waited for him by his car after our final classes let out, leaning against it, trying to suppress my nerves. I had gotten used to being in a safe house for awhile, and was not looking forward to going back.

I saw Edward coming over a few minutes later. He didn't look happy. I sighed as he came up, and grabbed my hand with one of his hands, the other running agitatedly through his hair. "Remind me why I am bringing you back to that bastard?" he said without preliminary.

"Because it will be worse if I don't." I answered grimly.

"What time does he go to bed?"

"It changes every night. Just wait until you see the light in the room next to mine turn on for a few minutes, before turning off. He only really goes up there to go to sleep. Wait a few minutes after that. The lights downstairs are also usually off when he is in bed." I respond.

"Fuck. I don't like this." He said pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I know. I'm sorry. Please, I have survived this for a long time, I can handle it." I said.

"You can't expect me to just bring you somewhere to get hurt. Don't ask me to do that." He pleads, and I sigh, resting my forehead against his chest.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"Don't be. It's not your fault. I just.." he growls and pulls away, running both hands through his hair as he paces back and forth. I just watch helplessly, knowing this was harder on him than it was on me. I was used to it, he wasn't.

I sigh, and walk over to the passenger side, and slide inside, letting him know that we have to go.

He paces for a few more minutes before getting into the car, slamming the door shut. He leans back a few minutes, trying to calm down before starting the car.

We don't say a word, the silence thick with tension as we drive to my house. Charlie's cruiser is gone when we get there. I move to get out, but Edward stops me, his hand claiming mine again.

"Be careful, alright?" he asks, his voice a broken whisper. I had only seen him so vulnerable when he was in the thralls of a nightmare.

"I will do my best." I promise quietly, before he pulls me into a tight hug. He doesn't let go for a few minutes. When he does, he refuses to look at me, so I take it as my cue to leave.

I slowly got out of his car, and headed inside. The place was a huge fucking mess. I felt the resentment as I started cleaning up after Charlie. After almost a week in a real home, I truly realized just how messed it was that I spent my life cleaning up after Charlie, only to be rewarded with the worst forms of abuse. It was fucked up that the guy I liked was still sitting out in his car, probably battling the urge to come in here and take me away from where we both knew harm would mostly likely find me. It was fucked up that I didn't even remember what it was like to not be in constant pain, and that third degree burns were bearable due to the fact that I had lived through worse—many times. It was fucked up that the last time I had slept peacefully before that one time at Edward's house was when I was either fucked up, or before I was six year old.

There was nothing not fucked up about this situation. There was nothing okay with it, and the most fucked up part about it, was because of who the person hurting me was, there wasn't shit I could do about it, or that anyone could do about it for that matter. Suddenly a year and a half felt like an eternity.

I sighed as I watched Edward finally pull away far too fast.

Once the house was sufficiently clean, I changed into my own clothes so that Alice's wouldn't be ruined, and started a wash cycle with the laundry. Once the laundry was in the dryer, I sat down in the living room to await my punishment so I could just fucking get it over with. The sooner Charlie had his way, the sooner I could get the fuck out of here.

Finally, at around seven PM, Charlie staggered in, obviously having just come from the bar.

"Heh, decided to fucking show up? I would have thought you would have learned by now." He said with a grin.

"Let's just get it over with Charlie." I said with a resigned sigh. I was so sick of this.

"Aww… not going to fight back? It makes it so much more fun." He said with a twisted grin.

I didn't take the bait, I just calmly stood up, and waited.

He went over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of beer. He opened it, and drank the whole thing in a matter of minutes. When he was done, he grinned and threw it at me. I dodged out of the way, wincing from my legs.

"Heh. That's no fun." He said as he came over, and grabbed me by the throat, pushing me against the wall hard enough to knock the wind out of me. He started squeezing until I couldn't breathe. I gagged, and out of instinct, started clawing at his fingers. He grinned, looking satisfied before he dropped me, leaving me coughing and gagging. He then wound up and kicked me in the gut hard, causing me to bend over in pain. He then slammed his elbow into my back, sending me to the ground. I held back my whimper of pain as he started pulling me into the garage. I started fighting back then. Nothing good ever came out of the garage.

He laughed, and grabbed me by the hair, forcing me to follow after him if I didn't want my hair ripped right out.

Once we were in the Garage, he threw me down, and kicked me a few times before pinning me down again. He looked at me with that same disgusting look he always got when he started thinking I was my mother in his drunken haze. "Renee, you've gotten prettier lately." He said, licking his lips. I struggled harder, shoving my knee up into his groin. He yelled in pain, grabbing his junk. I took that opportunity to try and get up, but before I could, he grabbed me and threw me to the ground again, hitting me several times again. He went and grabbed the rope quickly while I lay there gasping, trying to get air back into my lungs. I kept struggling, but he tied my hands again, before slinging the rope over the beam like he had when he burned me. I started kicking at him as hard as I could, trying to get him away from me. However, a moment later, he grinned, and tied my ankles together again, so I was hanging by my wrists, pretty much immobilized. He stared at his handy work for a moment with a sick grin on his face. Next he grabbed a knife. I felt the air leave my lungs as fear took root, the same knife he used on Renee. It took everything I had to not fucking start crying, as he advanced on me with the knife.

Instead of stabbing me, like I thought he would, he used it to slice off my clothes, not being careful to not cut me, leaving a few shallow cuts on my legs and chest. The one on my right leg was fairly deep though, and bleeding. I closed my eyes, knowing what was going to happen next, and started thinking of the first song lyrics I could think of, to be anywhere but here.

I thought of a song Alice had just shown me a few days ago, from Bruno Mars, the Lazy song, and focused on nothing but trying to remember every lyric to the song I barely knew.

Finally after what seemed like eternity, Charlie grunted and pulled out with a satisfied grunt and let the rope go from the beam, but left me tied up and naked. He kicked me a few times, grinning. "Thanks, much better, my little whore." He said before laughing and going back inside.

I laid there curled up in a ball on the ground, struggling to get the ropes off. Luckily this time, he made them a little looser than last time, probably because of how drunk he was, and I was able to get them off after about an hour of trying. Exhausted, I crawled up to the garage door, and tried to open it, but it was locked. I swore under my breath, and shivered from the cold air. I did not want Edward to find me like this, not naked, and fucking destroyed.

"_Today I don't feel like doing anything, I just want to lay in my bed, don't feel like picking up the phone, so leave a message at the tone, because today I swear I'm not doing anything." _I whispered to myself as I tried to keep myself intact. I grabbed my clothes that were a bloody mess, and put them on, but they wouldn't stay on.

I noticed something then, a bobbypin on the ground. I wasn't sure how to do it, but I had to try.

It took almost another hour, but I was finally able to get the garage door open. Charlie was passed out on the couch with the light still on, which meant that Edward hadn't try to come yet. It was already late.

I moved as quietly as I could, still rehearsing the lyrics in my head, trying to repress what just happened. I was getting so full of shit I was repressing that it was getting harder and harder.

"Only a year and a half" I whispered, and just kept repeating it over and over again in my head, trying to convince myself it wasn't long, in between lyrics, trying to keep my brain just too busy to think about anything else as I pulled my clothes out of the dryer. I went into the bathroom and cleaned off as much of the blood as I could without using the mirror, and then changed into fresh clothes. I folded Alice's clothes, before sneaking back out. I winced hard from my ribs when I twisted to shut the door behind me. Everything fucking hurt. _Stop._ I started pacing, trying to get the lyrics back in my head as I walked out of my yard, and looked up and down the street. A moment later, Edward's Volvo pulled up. I barely waited for him to stop before I flung myself into the passenger seat. Edward first looked relieved, then suddenly angry. He pulled over the car a little ways up the road, before turning on the cab.

I watched him, trying my best to keep up my calm façade as he reached his hand up and gently touched my neck where I forgot probably had fucking hand prints.

"I'll fucking kill him." He hissed.

"Don't please.. it's just not worth it. Please, can we just go? Please?" I begged him my voice rough, placing a hand on his arm.

"To hell it's not worth it!" he yelled, not able to contain his anger. Before I knew what happened, my heart rate was accelerating, and all I could see was what had just happened in the garage, his filthy body against mine. I couldn't breathe, and I found myself whispering the song lyrics I had tried to distance myself from it with.

"Bella, snap out of it! Bella, I'm sorry, snap out of it!" I heard vaguely until I felt myself being pulled onto his lap gently.

I started calming down, struggling to catch my breath as he rocked me on his lap awkwardly in the small car seat. "Shh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell." He whispered. His eyes were tortured. I had done that to him.

"Don't be sorry." I rasped, my throat sore as hell. "I'm the one that's sorry. I am so sorry you have to go through this." I whispered because it hurt less.

He sighed, not saying anything, just holding me for a few more minutes.

After a little longer, he finally let go, and I sat back down in the passenger seat. He grabbed my hand possessively before starting to drive. "Bruno Mars, huh?" he asked, obviously trying to lighten the mood.

"Your sister showed me one of his songs earlier this week. It was the first thing I could think of." I rasped out.

"Why did you need a song to think about?" he asked.

I sighed, trying to think of how to answer his question without giving away too much, or making him angry. "It… lets me distance myself, during, and after." I said quietly.

"Distance?" he asked quietly, his grip tightening on the steering wheel.

"I can handle it better if I don't have to think about it, at all. It is just to keep my mind occupied. A song like that is perfect, because I don't know it that well, so I really have to focus to remember the lyrics." I said quietly. Although, the downside was now I suddenly hated that song.

He nods, his jaw tightening. "What did he do?" He asked in a tight voice.

I closed my eyes a second, it was too soon for him to ask that. The images started surfacing again, so I curled up, resting my forehead on my knees, and started trying to play the lyrics in my head again.

"Bella?" he asked, his voice laced with concern. I just raised a finger to him, to tell him to give me a moment while I tried again to rid myself of the nights events.

It took almost the rest of the drive for me to be able to make my mind blank again, but I kept my head on my knees. I was fucking exhausted.

He watched me closely before shutting off the engine, and getting out of the car. He came around the other side, and opened the door, kneeling down beside me. "How often do you do this? Try to distance yourself?" he asked.

"Every time." I said, closing my eyes tiredly.

I knew what I was seeing in his eyes. I knew it wasn't good either. I knew repressing everything would not be beneficial in the long run. I knew that, but I had no way of dealing with it. Even if I did, it didn't matter, because new shit would end up happening again.

"Come on, let's go inside." He said quietly, offering me his hand.

I just nodded silently, not trusting myself to speak yet. I took his hand, and we went inside silently. We both headed upstairs to his room. He lead me to his bed, and I sat down.

He went over and grabbed his notebook, and a book for me, seeming to understand I just needed to be distracted right now. He sat down beside me, close enough that our shoulders were touching, and he just started writing, and I started reading.

No words were passed the rest of the night, both of us doing our damnedest to forget, so when morning came, it could truly be a new day, untainted by the truth of the situation.

It truly was fucked up.

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_I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It is not an easy chapter to read, but it was an important chapter as far as showing some of the emotional repercussions, and showing the flaw to dealing the way she has been. Not to mention, it was important that she finally put the situation TRULY into perspective. Obviously, she did know that the situation was bad, but we see her come to the realization of just how bad it is. _

_Please R&R, please please please... *Alice Pout*_


	13. Chapter 13: Feigning Normality

_So I really hope you guys are enjoying the story so far, and thank you everyone for the reviews, they really really make me happy._

_Also, Happy Birthday Keke! I am sorry I am cutting it so close for this 24 hours, but my roomates had to go out for awhile, so I had to babysit, which meant I got a late start, however, here is the next chapter, on your birthday! _

_Please R&R!_

_Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight_

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**Chapter 13: A Feigning Normality **

_**EPOV**_

My alarm went off from beside us, startling both of us from our distractions. I set down my notebook, and reached across Bella to turn it off. She then sighed, and offered me a small reassuring smile.

I tried my best to return it.

She headed out of my room then without a single word, probably because I am sure her throat fucking hurt like hell.

I stood up myself, and went straight to the shower. When I got in there, I tried to wash the dread from the previous day off. Dropping her off there, and leaving her there was one of the hardest things I had ever had to do. We both knew what was going to happen. Bella had never completely told me everything that went down there, but I knew it was bad.

I had no idea how she was so fucking strong about it all, when I just wanted curl up in a ball and ball my eyes out like a fucking baby.

I could tell though, that effected her a hell of a lot more than she ever let on.

In my car last night, she was breaking right before my eyes. Just me raising my voice pushed her into a panic attack. The fucking song that she whispered while she tried to keep herself together fucking told it all.

I wondered how much shit she had trapped in that head of hers. It was obvious now why she never seemed effected. She was repressing the hell out of everything. I knew for a fact that it wouldn't work forever, and would end up causing more damage in the long run.

Which meant that I needed to find a way to get her to deal with some of it, without pushing her over the fucking edge. I didn't have the faintest idea how to do that.

At least, she was safe for the next five days. I didn't have to bring her home for another five days.

When I got out of the shower, I got dressed and went to wait downstairs while Bella got made up by Alice. I didn't know how she was going to hide the marks on her throat, but I knew she would. Bella had gone so long without anyone finding out, so I doubted she was an amateur in hiding injuries.

About a half an hour later, Bella came downstairs, moving somewhat gingerly, but god did she fucking look gorgeous. She had done something to cover up the bruises, and she was wearing those jeans that made her ass look fantastic, along with a form fitting long sleeved sweater. Alice had done her hair again, leaving it mostly down except some clipped on the sides. Her hair was smooth and sleek until the bottom where it went into bouncy little curls.

Bella smiled as she sat down at the table with me, immediately starting on her eggs.

"Bella dear, you look wonderful." Esme complimented, but I could see it in her eyes. Esme was starting to know something was going on, she just had no idea what.

"Thank you Esme. Thank you again for everything." She said quietly, trying not to show off how rough her voice was.

"Bella, is everything okay? Is your father still down in La Push?" she asked.

"Yeah. He went back last night. I think he is seeing a girl down there." She said with wide smile that was supposed to look excited, though it didn't touch her eyes. Anyone who didn't know any better would just be more worried that was having difficulty seeing her dad date.

"Oh, well you know you are more than welcome here anytime. I don't like the idea of a young girl like yourself staying all alone in a house all the time. You never know would could happen." Esme said, smiling gently.

"Thank you." Bella smiled, forcing another bite of egg down her throat, before she starts just pushing it around her plate.

"Bella. I think we should go shopping after school." She said with a grin.

Bella looks at her, and smiles a little. "Sure Alice, that sounds fun." She said quietly.

Alice smiles a little also, but it doesn't touch her eyes. Alice knew something was up also.

"I'll go too." I said, not liking the idea of her being out of my sight at the moment. I knew it was a little ridiculous, but the moment I realized I wouldn't be there, I was filled with fucking dread.

"What?" Alice dropped her fork, looking completely shocked.

Even Esme stopped what she was doing to stare at me.

"Yeah, I uh—I could use some new jeans." I said, which was bullshit.

"Cool, why don't we all go. I can call up Rosie." Emmett said with a grin, dispelling the awkwardness. I was suddenly glad for fucking Emmett.

"Oh, I will call Jazz up!" Alice said with a grin.

Esme wasn't fooled though, I could tell. She was still watching me with appraising eyes, and so was Bella.

A few minutes later, we all got up to leave for school. Bella hadn't even eaten half of her breakfast. That had me worried, because she really did love her fucking food, and she really needed to gain weight. I was hoping it was just because of her throat.

She followed me out to my car, and we both got in.

"Edward, you don't have to if you don't want to." She said, looking at me earnestly.

"I want to. I need jeans." I said, shrugging.

"Sure. I know why you want to go. You're still freaked from last night. I understand that, but I am sure I will be fine just going shopping with Alice." She said in a soft voice.

I sighed a little bit, but didn't deny it as I took her hand quietly, it fucking fit perfectly in mine.

"Let's just… pretend it didn't happen. We can just go back to normal while we can. I don't have to go back for a few days."

I squeezed her hand tighter at the thought of her going back. "I don't think I can ever pretend it didn't happen." I say honestly, and I also really didn't think she should either.

"It gets easier to do." She smiles a little.

"I don't want to have anything that needs to be forgotten. We need to figure out a way to get you out of there."

She sighs a little. "If there was a way, I would have been out of there already. I have tried, and it just makes everything worse."

"How can it be worse?" I ask, narrowing my eyes as I watch the road.

"He could kill me." She said nonchalantly.

I immediately slammed on the breaks and pull over. "That's it. I can't let you fucking go back!" I say through my teeth, trying not to yell, but I was boiling.

"If I don't go back, you know he can get me back just as easily." She said. "Last time I tried, he put an amber alert out."

"Then we can fucking go somewhere, far away." I plead.

"I am not ripping you away from your family Edward. Your family is too fucking good for that." She says sternly, then her voice softens. "Besides, Amber Alert is countrywide. We would have to leave the country, which neither of us can do without a parent to set up our passports."

"You've thought it through." I said quietly, feeling the familiar burn of defeat.

"I have. Only a year and a half." She said, obviously to herself as to me.

I nod quietly as I start driving again, biting back my frustration.

**BPOV**

Edward was taking this hard. I wished there was something I could do to make it easier on him. It fucking killed me more than anything Charlie could do to me to see him hurting like this, all because of me. He didn't even want me going out with his sister without him there.

As we pulled into the parking lot of the school, he sighed, not letting go, or moving to get out.

I wracked my brain for a moment, then grinned a little. "So, there is this elderly couple, right?" I start, and he just looks at me like I'm crazy.

"They almost divorced, you want to know why?" I ask him. He decides to play along, and nods.

"Well they were driving one night, and suddenly a small animal ran in front of their car. The wife screamed as the man hit it. They pulled over, and the wife said 'We need to see if it's okay!'"

"So they got out of the car, and went over to the animal. It was a skunk, but it was still alive, so the wife then says 'Honey, poor thing, we need to get him to the vet.' The husband agrees, and they get into the car with the injured skunk."

"A few minutes into the ride, the wife says sadly 'oh look at the poor thing, it's shivering, it must be cold.' "

"The man then looks over, and says 'Just put him in between your legs.'"

"'What about the smell?' the wife asks."

I pause a moment, trying to force back the grin that might give it away.

"Then the husband says 'Just plug its nose.' "

Edward stares at me for a moment dumbfounded for a moment, before he barks out a laugh.

I grin at him, not bothering to suppress my own giggles.

"Bella, that was absolutely vile." He said in between chuckles with a slight scolding tone.

"I try." I grin.

We both get out of the car, in significantly lighter spirits as we make our way into the school, his hand taking mine as soon as we are at the door to the school.

As soon as we are in the main hallway, Jessica Stanley, and Lauren Mallory run up to us, or rather, to Edward.

"Hey Eddy." Jessica coos. Edward grips my hand tighter as I feel something flare through my body, at the sight of them touching him. Jealousy? All I knew is I wanted to rip their eyes out.

Lauren and Jessica look at him, pretending like I am not even there. "So, I was wondering. Are you going to come to the party tonight? It's at Newton's tonight." Lauren asks, twirling a piece of her bleach blonde hair in between her fingers.

"Probably not. Now if you don't mind—Move." He said, side stepping them, never letting go of the vice grip he had on my hand.

"I am guessing you don't like them so much." I said with a grin at his obvious repulsion.

"Well, that Stanley bitch stalked me for like eight months last year." He said.

"Really? I thought I heard that somewhere, but I don't usually listen too much to rumors." I said.

"Yeah, she even showed up at my house a few times, introducing herself as my _girlfriend_ to my fucking parents. She would also do creepy shit like follow me to the bathroom at parties, trying to get me to let her suck my dick and shit. It was fucking creepy as hell." He said, giving a shudder.

I tried to hold back my own grin as I imagined her patheticness.

"It's not funny." He said sternly.

"Nope. Not at all. Who's name are you guys taking? Edward Stanley, or Jessica Cullen?" I burst out laughing at his look of disgust.

"Bella, not cool." He said, a smile twitching at his lips despite his portrayed annoyance.

"The kids would be so… erm… special." I said with a grin, and he fucking starts laughing.

"Yeah, they would be fucking special alright. Not even my fucked up gene pool could help them out." He said through a laugh.

We stopped in front of my classroom, and he leaned over me, my back suddenly against the wall next to the doorway. He looked at me intensely, his emerald eyes boring into my own eyes."Be safe, okay?"

Normally, I would think that was a fairly ridiculous thing to say right before class, but I was mesmerized, and all I could do was nod compliantly.

"Good." He whispered in velvet, before standing up straight slowly, and leaving me there stunned as he made his way to his own class. That was _not_ playing fair.

I made it to my seat. It took me a few moments to realize that pretty much every female, and a couple of guys were all staring at me with varying degrees of malice in their stares.

"What, do I have something on my face?" I snapped at them, and some of them had the decency to look away.

At the end of the period, Edward was at the doorway before I could even get out into the hallway. To say I was surprised would have been an understatement.

"Hey Edward." I smiled, looking up at him.

"Hey. What's your next class?" he asked.

"Math, with Mr. Varner." I say, dumbfounded that he came all the way here just to walk me to class.

He nods, before taking my hand and walking me to my next class. As soon as we get there, he gently presses me against the wall, and leans over me again, giving me that same intense look he did before first period. "Be safe." He says in the same velvety whisper, his lips twitching up in one corner as I just nod dumbly. It worked just as well this time as last. _Totally not playing fair._

When I got into class, and Edward was gone, Jessica and Lauren walked up to me. "What in the hell do you think you are doing with Edward?" Jessica asks.

"Umm.." I was still a little out of it from Edward's antics before class.

Suddenly I took stock of their faces as they glared at me, their arms crossed. "I'm sorry, can you repeat your question? I don't speak BlowUpBlonde-anese. "

They took a moment trying to figure out what the hell I had just said. I resisted the urge to face palm as they looked honestly confused.

"Whatever." Lauren said, obviously still not getting it, but probably knowing it was an insult. "We want to know what the hell you think you are doing with Edward."

"Yeah. He doesn't like little slutty gross wannabe freaks like you." Jessica added.

"Slutty?" I asked, eyeing her barely there attire. "Pot calling kettle?"

"Whatever. Just stay away from him." Jessica sneered. "He's mine."

"Or else." Lauren added.

"Oh boy, am I terrified. Or else what? You'll give me a bad manicure in my sleep? Spit your STDs? I am shaking in my converse." I say while rolling my eyes.

They looked even more pissed after, but just walked back to their desk, probably because they couldn't think of a good come back.

The teacher entered the room a moment later, and started class.

The next several classes went much like the first two. Edward walked me to each of my classes, before doing that incredibly sexy, annoying, and unfair thing with his eyes, before telling me to be safe.

It also seemed like almost every female and orientation-questionable male hated me. I was finding hate mail in my locker and in my books. They pretty much all said the same thing "Stay away from Eddie!" it was actually pretty humorous. I had a hard time letting something like this really get to me, considering that I had REAL issues. Some of these were really just straight out hilarious.

At the end of the day, I got into the car with Edward containing a laugh. "Hey Edward, do you know how many girlfriends you have?" I ask, quirking an eyebrow.

He looked at me, genuinely confused.

I started counting the notes from girls that specifically stated he was their boyfriend.

"Well, about fourteen girls apparently think you are their boyfriend, and three guys think you are their gay lover."

He looks confused as I start laughing hard at the ridiculousness of it all. I may not have been his girlfriend, but I knew he sure as hell didn't have any.

I tossed him the notes.

His eyes narrow as he looks at the various pathetic threats and warnings.

"You have been getting these all day?" He asks seriously.

"Yeah, it's actually pretty hilarious." I say with a grin. "Especially the boy who thinks you are the "Robert Pattinson to his Kristen Stewart." I start giggling uncontrollably.

"Don't you think you should report these or something?" He asks, obviously not find this nearly as hilarious as I was.

"What is the worst they can do? Throw their Prada bags at me? Call me names? Start rumors? I really don't care what they do." I said with a shrug. "Besides, they will get over it eventually when they realize that we are just friends."

He sighs, but drops it, taking my hand again.

When we get back to the house, Alice is hopping up and down outside waiting for us.

"Hey, Rose and Jazz are meeting us there, are you guys ready?" She said ambushing us as soon as the doors are open.

"Oh, um sure." I say, glancing at Edward who shrugs.

"Oh, and, I want to go to that party tonight! Bellaaa, you have to come with me." Alice pouts.

I had no intention of going to that party, but I was having a hard time saying no with that pout.

"Edward, will you come too?" I ask.

Alice turns the full force of her pout on Edward, and he sighs. "Sure, fine."

"Alright Alice, then I will go too." I say.

"Awesome! Then we are going to have to pick up dresses for tonight!" She says with a grin.

"Dresses? Alice, I am not wearing a dress."

"Why not? It doesn't have to be a short dress…"

"Because a high school house party is formal enough to wear a full length dress to." I say with a sigh.

"Oh… well we will find something!" She chirps.

Edward grins a little, seemingly taking amusement in my suffering.

Alice then grabs my hand and pulls me towards her canary yellow Porsche 911, Edward following close behind. We head to the mall to meet up with the others for the dreaded shopping trip.

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_I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Another lighter chapter. More dark ones coming up soon._

_Please R&R! Thank you for reading!_


	14. Chapter 14: Bending to Break

_Hey guys! So I am so sorry about the delay. I ended up getting a pretty bad infection, and had to spend some time with the hospital. I still have an IV in my hand, so its slowing my down a bit, but I wanted to get at least another chapter out!_

_Thank you for all of your amazing reviews! They make me unbelievably happy! please continue to share your thoughts and opinions with me!_

_Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight_

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**Chapter 14: Bending to Break**

**_BPOV_**

The shopping trip felt like it took forever. Rosalie still refused to talk to me, and that made everything fairly awkward. Edward wasn't in a great mood either, though Alice tried to make up for it, talking a mile a minute. Emmett was also great, being perfect at breaking the tension.

The best part though, was easily when Emmett decided they we all had to ride the carousel. He made us all get on, and I am sure we all felt ridiculous, but he just hollered the whole time, and laughed like a little kid. It was hilarious.

Jasper also kept the tension pretty low, telling some funny jokes, and some hilarious stories about previous parties. My favorite story he told was one about Jessica Stanley trying to hit on Edward during her stalking phase, where she stripped in front of him in a crowded party for everyone to see, then proceeded to puke all over him. Edward wasn't as fond of this story, but it had me cracking up.

When we got home, we had way too many bags. Alice insisted on buying me a whole new wardrobe of clothes. There were a lot of times that she tried to get me to get things like skirts and tank tops, but I had to veto those.

Edward helped me carry the stuff up to the guestroom, which everyone else was just calling my room. Alice told me to just put the stuff in the closet there, because I was there more than at my own house. I couldn't argue with that.

When we got into the guest room, I lay all the bags down on the bed before laying down for a second, completely exhausted. Edward sat down next to me, looking equally tired.

"If someone could find a way to use Alice to power all of the power needs in the world, we would never run out." I muttered, and Edward laughed a little.

"Yeah, especially when shopping is involved. " He said, before laying down next to me. "You look tired." He said.

"You too." I muttered through a yawn.

He nodded, and took my hand quietly as we both recovered from the trip. I was dreading the party tonight. I really didn't have the energy, and I wasn't sure how I felt about Edward going to a party where it was likely his old crowd hung out, and would likely have drugs.

I turned so I was facing him on the bed. "Edward, are you sure you want to go? If you don't want to, I can just go with Alice alone. She won't be too happy if I cancel, but you can get out of it if you want."

"Not a fucking chance." He said with a grimace. "Remember all those notes you got today? The fucking threats and shit? Yeah, well all of those people are probably going to be there." He said in a stern voice.

"Edward, you don't need to protect me, I am capable of that." I said with a huff.

"Clearly." He said, his voice thick with sarcasm as he eyed me up and down.

"Fuck you. That's different. He's not a stupid high schooler." I stated, starting to get mad.

"No, but there is only one of him, and a shit ton of the others."

"I already told you, it will be fine."

"You're not going alone." He said with a sense of finality.

I sat up, crossing my arms over my chest gingerly. "Edward, let me make one thing clear. I can take care of myself. I have been doing it for a long time—"

"Yeah, and look where it's gotten you!" he all but shouted.

I could feel my heartbeat raising uncomfortably at the shouting, but did my best to ignore it. "Hey, at least I am still alive. If anyone else had been in my shoes, they would have fucking offed themselves already, but I didn't. I survived. I always survive."

"Yeah, you may have survived, but you sure as hell aren't fucking thriving. Have you looked in a fucking mirror lately? You may be doing better right now, but you are fucking skinny as shit, and you can't even fucking sleep." He argues.

"You're one to talk." I snort.

"Yeah, I am one to fucking talk. At least I got out, and I may have dealt with my shit fucking badly, but I dealt with it. You don't fucking deal with it at all, you just pretend it never fucking happened!" he shouts louder.

I could feel the weight stomping down on my chest, the air coming in thinner. I was close to losing it again. "I know it happened, I know it does happen. I don't forget anything, I just do what I have to, so I can survive." I whisper, trying to keep the panic forming in my chest at bay, before I get up and walk out of the room. I didn't want to see him, and I didn't want him to see me fucking break down, then he would have more reason to think I was incapable.

I left the house as quickly as I could, and went straight into the dense forests around his house. As I walked, I did everything I could to try to suppress the oncoming panic attack. I had fucking just ruined everything with Edward. I knew it was for the best in the back of my mind if he never wanted to see me again, he could finally be safe.

I didn't make it much further before I collapsed against a tree, hugging my knees to my chest. I tried to manage my breathing, and stop thinking about anything.

Finally after about a half an hour of thinking of anything but Edward, or Charlie, or anything that mattered, I managed to calm myself down. I was exhausted as all hell, and the last thing I wanted to do now was go to a goddamned party, but I knew Alice would be upset if I didn't. I didn't want to worry anyone more than they already were.

I made my way back to the house slowly, exhaustion weighing on my every step. My hands were shaking, and I am sure I looked like hell from my almost panic attack.

When I got back inside, I went straight to Alice's room to get ready for said party.

"Bella, what happened? Did my idiot of a brother say something!?" She said as soon as she opened the door and took in my face.

"No, I'm fine. I am just tired." I say with a forced smile.

"We don't have to go." She said quietly, looking down at the floor with a sad look in her eye.

"No, we are going. I told you I would go.

"Alright. Then let's get ready." She visibly perked, but I could still see the concern in her eyes.

Two hours later, I was dressed in a pair of designer jeans she had picked out for me, along with a fitted sweater, and some designer flats. She had my hair done up to the nines in a crazy updo with small braids and crimped pieces, and some curly pieces along with my straight hair. I figured the effect would be silly, but it actually looked really cool.

"Ready?" She asked as she grabbed her pocketbook.

"As I'll ever be." I said with a wry smile.

As we headed out, Edward came out of his room, not looking at me, but followed us.

"Is that what you're wearing?!" Alice practically screeched at Edward when she saw his plain black jeans and his black Metallica T-shirt.

"Yeah, it's not a fucking fashion show, Alice, it's a fucking Fork's house party." He said in a monotone voice.

I looked over at him, trying to gauge how badly I had fucked up. I knew it must have been pretty bad when he kept looking absolutely anywhere but at me. I half wondered why he was still going. I doubt he would want to 'protect' me after the fight we just had.

Maybe he just wanted to get fucked up again.

Maybe I didn't blame him if he did.

The drive to the party was tense. Edward didn't say a word, and neither did I. Even Alice seemed to be subdued by the atmosphere, and said nothing.

As soon as we got there, Alice jumped out of the car, and ran over to me as I exited. She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door with a large grin on her face. "This is going to be awesome!" She said, bouncing up and down. Edward followed silently behind us.

I wished I could share some of Alice's enthusiasm, especially since I knew she was just trying to lighten the mood, but it was lost on me right now. I knew that if Edward walked away, it would be the best thing for him, but I was already mourning the loss. I was pissed at him for the shit he said, but I knew where he was coming from. He was upset by the circumstances I involved him in. He clearly had his own shit to deal with, and I just piled more on.

However, one comment struck a chord, every time I thought back to our fight. "_At least I got out, I dealt with my shit fucking badly, but I dealt with it."_

What did that mean? Did he have similar situations himself? I couldn't see how, considering who his parents were. I knew Esme was his step mom, but I knew damn well that Carlisle wasn't that type of man.

I was now more curious than ever to find out what his nightmares were about. What were Edward Cullen's demons?

I sighed to myself as we entered into the household.

The hose was jam packed with teenage bodies humping and gyrating to awful music, and the air was laced with the smell of pot and alcohol. Red solo cups were everywhere, and everyone was ridiculously loud. I already was feeling uncomfortable.

"Jazzy!" Alice squealed, before running into the kitchen and launching herself at a mildly amused looking Jasper, as if they hadn't just seen each other a couple hours earlier. I looked over, and saw Emmett and Rosalie making out with each other in a corner, practically having sex right out in the open. I groaned a little at that.

I made my way carefully towards the kitchen, trying to avoid touch with any of the guys there. I was on edge already, and was quickly realizing that alcohol was probably the only way I was going to make it through this party.

I grabbed a cup, and poured the closest liquor into it, not even paying attention to what it was. I almost spilled the contents of the cup, my hands were shaking so bad.

I didn't know why I was reacting this way. Sure, I had been a bit uncomfortable around guys lately, but I had been to parties before. They never bothered me in the past.

I looked around, and saw Edward was leaning seemingly casually against a wall, holding a beer. His eyes constantly sweeping around. I wondered what he was looking for.

I drank a few sips of my drink, just leaning against the counter, trying to keep my distance from everyone. A few minutes later, my stomach twisted uncomfortably as I saw James approaching. However, before he could make it to me, Edward grabbed James wrist, and started talking to him. James was grinning, and a few minutes later, they walked outside together. I could feel lead drop into my stomach. He was going to get more, he was going to use again.

I started to make my way through the bodies, feeling the weight on my chest grow as guys got too close. I just needed to get outside to him. He had gone too far to go back. I had to stop him from making the biggest mistake he could make.

Suddenly, I felt an arm thrown around my shoulders, and I couldn't breathe.

_Burning, I could smell my flesh burning as Charlie grinned at me. Then somehow I was on the floor of the basement, reciting words in my head to Romeo and Juliet to tune out Charlie's hands all over me, and to try to block the steady rough rhythm as he slammed himself into me._

**_EPOV_**

I was fucking pissed. Bella was fucking infuriating sometimes. She claims she is doing fine, that she survives, but it was bullshit. I knew I may have fucking said too much to her, and pushed her, but maybe that is what needed to happen. Or at least until she fucking left, clearly fucking broken.

I honestly wish I was more pissed than I actually was. I was Edward Cullen, I didn't take this shit from anyone. I kept telling myself that I was angry, but really, I was fucking scared shitless. She was cracking right before me, I could see it. For now, I was more worried that I had pushed her too far.

For now I was just going to keep my distance, give her some room. However, there was no way I wasn't going to that party still. I wasn't going to leave her fucking unprotected around all those fucking bitches and pricks. I didn't even know how she was going to handle it. I don't know how much thought she had put into it, but it seemed like I was the only guy she could go near without going into a full on panic attack. This place was teeming with fucking guys.

Suddenly, I saw _him_, James. I was seeing red. Although Bella never told me who was supplying her with the drugs before, I knew it was fucking him. She didn't know anyone else who would give her shit. He was also the only person I knew who would fucking do anything to get a newbie hooked, preying on their weaknesses all in the name of _helping _them.

He was headed straight forward, so I immediately grabbed his wrist, forcing my face to twist into a smile.

"Edward, how have you been? No hard feelings, yeah?" He grins a little, eyeing me.

"Nah, no hard feelings." I said, doing my best to sound pleasant.

"Look, I was just going to visit a friend real quick." James said.

"Actually, I was wondering if we could talk outside, clear the air, y'know?" I said, forcing that smile to stay on my face. "Marcus doesn't have the same shit you do." I said, playing to his opportunistic side.

"Edward, I am always happy to help. Let by gones be by gones." He said, smirking a little as we both headed outside. Fucking idiot. He really thought I had forgiven him?

We walk in silence into the forest behind Newton's house, before I stop him.

"So what were you looking for, some coke? Maybe some Xanax? Or would you like a ride on the nostalgia train of our lady China White?" He asks with a grin.

Before he has a chance to respond, I pull my fist back and throw it into his jaw with a satisfying crack.

"Cullen, you are really going to fucking regret that!" He spat before he charged at me. I easily dodged to the side, and used his momentum to throw him towards the tree. When he regains his bearings, he looks livid.

"What, is this about your fucking fucked up girlfriend?" He grins, his eyes black with rage and malice.

"I told you to stay the fuck away from her, you fucking parasite!" I hissed.

"How could I? She was so pathetic. She needed help, and who was I to deny that sexy little cunt?" He grinned disgustingly.

"You should have stayed away." I growled.

"How could I? She was practically throwing herself at me." He smirked as soon as he knew I got his implication.

"You fucking bastard!" I spat as rage consumed me and I ran at him. I pinned him to the tree, and the punches just let loose until he was fucking cowering like the coward he was. I kept hitting him, letting out all of the fucking rage I felt at him, at Bella's dad, at all of the shit that was piling up.

"Edward!" I heard, and I turned around a moment, seeing Alice run towards me, looking panicked. I made one more glance down at James, who was so fucking beat up he couldn't even stand. I spat at him before I loped towards Alice.

"What's wrong Alice?" I asked, my rage somewhat subdued.

"It's Bella! Mike put his arm around her, I think he was just trying to be friendly, but she.. she.." Alice looked ready to cry.

"What happened, Alice?" I repeated, feeling my fists clenching and unclenching.

"I don't know, it was like when Emmett touched her, but worst. She is screaming, and thrashing around and and… I don't know what to do! I tried to wake her up, but nothing is working!" She pleaded, tears forming in her eyes.

We both ran back inside of the house, and the closer I got, the more I could hear the screams. The music had turned off.

When I got inside, my heart nearly fucking stopped beating. Bella was on the floor of the party, curled up in a tense ball, tossing and turning, tears running down her cheeks as she let out the most gut wrenching fucking screams. Everyone was fucking dead quiet, just standing around staring at her. Jasper was sitting by her, trying to calm her down, but it was just making it worse. His eyes were panicked as he tried to yell at her to wake up. Emmett was standing like a bodyguard, making it clear to everyone that they weren't getting any closer.

A moment later, I was running over towards Bella, before dropping to my knees in front of her. I vaguely saw Alice run to Jasper out of the corner of my eye, and he held her as she started crying.

I pulled Bella into my arms, and started rocking her back and forth, stroking her hair away from her face. She immediately started to calm down, and I was fucking thankful.

It took awhile, but she finally came out of it. Her eyes fluttered opened, and she just looked fucking dead exhausted, her eyes barely focusing.

"Edward, you don't hate me…?" She asked quietly, and I sighed, pressing my forehead against hers.

"I couldn't if I tried." I whispered.

I stood slowly, her body completely limp with exhaustion in my arms. Jasper was fucking looking at me like I had just pulled a miracle out of my ass, and Alice was watching, looking relieved, but still upset. Emmett was trying to clear us a path to get out to the car, and surprisingly, Rosalie was helping him now.

Finally, I got her out to the car, and sat in the backseat, not letting go of her. She was resting her head against my chest tiredly, and just fucking defeated.

If Bella wasn't more fucking important, Newton would be mince meat, but I couldn't leave her like this. Newton better fucking thank his lucky stars.

Bella looked up at my eyes a moment, like she was studying something, before she let out a slight sigh of relief. I looked at her questioningly, but she just shook her head, with a small smile playing at her lips.

"You should get some rest." I whispered to her, and she nodded slightly, barely able to keep her eyes open.

I didn't let go of her once as Jasper drove Alice's car home. As soon as we got there, I picked her up, and brought her up to my room. Rules be fucking damned, there was no way in hell I was leaving her alone tonight.

I brought her to my bed, and laid her down gently, before laying down beside her, and wrapping my arms back around her, holding her tightly to my body.

She stayed fast asleep, and eventually, I drifted off as well to the sound of her soft breathing.

* * *

_Please R&R! pretty please? Thank you! Reviews are my ambrosia, food of the gods!_


	15. Chapter 15: Wrecked

_So, I am sorry that this has been so late. I just got through moving, and I have a new job that has insane hours, especially since it is a brand new store, and I am in charge of training all of the teenagers (whom only one was trained at all prior.) So, between that, and some painting jobs, I have been swamped! However, here is the much awaited new chapter!_

Oh, and thank you to everyone who left a review for me! I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It is an extremely tough chapter to read, but I guaranty the ending of this chapter will make up for it.

_disclaimer: SM owns everything. I just inflict cruel and unusual punishment._

**Chapter 15: Wrecked**

**_BPOV_**

I awoke to sunlight filtering in through the windows in Edward's room. I was oddly refreshed, comfortable and warm. I glanced at the alarm clock on his nightstand to see it was about ten in the morning. I don't know when we got in last night, but I am sure we must have been asleep for at least eight hours, maybe more.

I looked over to see Edward still completely fast asleep, his arms wrapped snugly around me, his face relaxed, no signs of nightmares for him either.

I would have chalked it up to his visit with James last night, but I really don't think he did anything with him. His eyes were normal last night when we were in the car.

I couldn't remember everything that happened last night, but I knew it was bad. I had been trying to get to him, when suddenly, someone was wrapping their arms around me. I was fairly certain it was meant to be friendly, but I reacted badly. It had been the worst panic attack yet. I was trapped in all of the shit I wouldn't allow myself to dwell on.

My mind started drifting back towards what I had seen during the panic attack, and I could feel the tightness in my chest as the visions flooded my mind. I started reciting more lyrics in my head again, this time to Rebel Rebel from David Bowie, to distance myself again, when I suddenly felt Edward's arms tighten around me, and him stroking my hair.

"Bella, calm down, your safe." He said groggily, and I immediately started calming down. I turned so I was facing him. I must have accidentally woken him up.

"Hey, did I wake you?" I said, my voice betraying me with a slight waver.

"I was already awake, just relaxing, when I felt you tense all up." He murmured.

"I'm okay."

He scoffed a little, but said nothing.

"When did we get in last night?" I asked after a moment.

"About one in the morning. We slept for about nine hours." He said, his lips quirking a bit.

"Nine whole hours…" I said quietly. Neither one of us had nightmares. Was it the alcohol? Was it maybe just exhaustion? Or was it something else?

"Do you think maybe…" I trailed off.

"I don't know." He said, obviously on the same train of thought. "I think it's worth a try though. You won't see me protesting." He said with a slight grin.

I felt my face flush at his comment, but nodded. I was still exhausted, my body sore from the abuse a couple days ago, and from the panic attack last night. All I wanted to do was test our theory and go back to sleep.

"Bella, Edward! Mom and dad want you guys downstairs!" I heard Alice call through the door.

"Oh shit." I said quietly, feeling my face pale. I knew logically that even if we were in trouble, it wouldn't be anything like what I was used to. However, for some reason, my mind was taking it differently. I could feel myself start to shake, and my breath come in gasps. I never had this reaction when I was actually about to face down the monster, so why was I having it now? When I knew very well I was safe.

"Bella, it's okay, breathe, okay?" I heard Edward say as he sat up, taking me with him, and placing his hands on my shoulders, his eyes were showing a myriad of conflicting emotions as he watched me.

"I know it's okay." I said, trying to force the panic down, feeling frustrated at my reaction to something I knew would be fine.

After I had myself under control, we both got out of bed, and headed downstairs. Edward had his hand on the small of my back in a reassuring way.

When we got downstairs, Carlisle and Esme were both sitting at the table, wearing serious expressions.

"What's up?" Edward asked, though he seemed to tense a little, as he dropped his hand from my back.

"Would you two please sit down?" Carlisle asked. We both nodded, and sat down across from them at the table. No one said anything for a couple minutes, before Carlisle took off his glasses and sighed.

"Bella, we got a call from your father this morning, asking if you were here." Carlisle stated calmly. "Apparently he had no idea you were staying here. He only took a guess when he heard rumor of you two spending a lot of time together."

"I'm sorry. I figured he wouldn't care… since he wasn't home." I said, looking down, feeling my face pale. Edward took my hand under the table, and squeezed it. I didn't dare look at him.

"That's the thing, honey." Esme said with a sigh. "He said he hasn't been away at all. We aren't mad that you lied, but is there a reason you haven't been going home?"

It was my turn to squeeze Edward's hand, as a reminder of the promise he made me.

"I'm sorry, Dad does usually work really late, and with what happened down in Port Angelus, I have been having trouble dealing with it, and didn't want to be alone." I said quietly, hating that I was lying still. "Plus… Dad and I haven't been getting along well lately, he can't relate." I couldn't stop the bullshit spewing from my mouth. Edward stayed quiet beside me.

"Honey, we would have completely understood if you told us that" Esme stated, concern lacing her features. Carlisle was just studying me, as if he could see right through me.

"I was ashamed." I whispered. More like I was ashamed of lying to this perfect woman who treated me as her own.

"Bella, are you sure there is nothing else?" Carlisle asked hesitantly.

I shook my head. Carlisle then looked over at Edward, who was still staying very quiet. I begged in my mind for Edward to not say anything.

After a few moments, Carlisle lifted his attention back to me.

"Alright, well here is the thing, without his consent, we can't let you stay here. He wants you home at least at night time, you have had him worried." I swallowed thickly.

"Bella, that doesn't mean you aren't welcome here, but we have to have his permission when you stay the night." Esme said again.

"Alright, I am sorry." I said again, trying to keep the panic at bay as I thought back to Rebel Rebel.

_Rebel Rebel, you've torn your dress, rebel rebel, your face is a mess, rebel rebel, how could they know?_

"Bella? Did you hear us?" Carlisle asked, watching me more intently, as I felt Edward squeeze my hand tighter.

"I'm sorry, I spaced, just woke up." I said quietly.

"I think he was pretty upset, so he wants you home now. " Carlisle said with a sigh, concern in his eyes, but also obvious confusion. He didn't know what was going on, but he had some suspicions.

"Can't she stay just a little longer?" Edward asked suddenly, his own face pale, his hand almost hurting mine with how tightly he was squeezing.

"I'm afraid not, son. I am fairly certain she is grounded. And though I understand the reasons she just gave us, I also see his point of view. I will bring her home as soon as she is packed up." Carlisle stated, running a hand through his hair as he looked between the two of us to try to figure out what was going on, but clearly not coming up with anything.

"Alright. I guess I will go pack. Thank you for your hospitality, and I am sorry I lied." I said, standing up, forcing myself to go into a numb state.

Edward and I made our way back upstairs, and to the guest room where my stuff was.

"Bella, you can't go back. Please, I…" Edward said, taking my other hand so he had both of them, he looked so vulnerable, but also defeated.

I realized then that I needed to go back to being the strong one. I pulled him to me, and hugged him, rubbing his back gently.

"I don't have a choice. He pulled a power trip. I will be okay." I said quietly. "I will just go back to what I was doing before, just avoiding until night time."

"That's not good enough Bella. I know you see it too, but its too much. You may survive physically, but you're fucking breaking. It's only getting worse." His voice was pleading, desperate.

"I'll be fine. Only a year and a half left. I can hold on." I whispered gently.

"Bullshit!" he said in a broken voice.

I didn't respond, because I knew it was bullshit too. He was right, I couldn't keep fooling myself, I was fucking breaking. I could tell myself I was being strong all I wanted, but when it came down to it, just being told that harmless parents wanted to speak to us sending me into an almost panic attack showed how wrong I was.

"We could tell them." Edward said quietly.

"No."

"Carlisle already knows something is up, I can tell. He just doesn't know what." Edward pointed out.

"No. I am not putting you and your family in danger. I am not worth that fucking risk, and you know as well as I do, that it very well could backfire. " I said, and he sighed defeated, before he sank down on the bed, his head in his hands.

I sighed, and started grabbing the clothes I came with. I didn't want the stuff Alice got for me to get ruined, so I left it here. It only took a few minutes, since I never had much. As soon as I was finished, I sat down beside Edward for a moment. "Are you going to come with us?" I asked.

He stayed silent for a moment before shaking his head. "I can't. Not right now I cant." He said, and I sighed, upset, but also a little glad that he wasn't putting himself through more torment. This was all obviously too much for him, and he needed distance from it, I was sure.

"Alright." I said quietly. I was about to stand up to leave when he took my hand, stopping me in my tracks.

"Please Bella." He asked desperately, but I knew he also knew my answer before I even shook my head. He sighed and dropped my hand, before I left the guest room, with him sitting on the bed.

I would allow myself to be upset later, but I needed all of my emotions in check right now. I knew there was a good chance I had finally scared him off, that this was too much for him, but I couldn't allow myself to think about that.

I got back downstairs, holding my backpack that had my stuff, before following Carlisle silently out to his car.

The ride back to my house was silent. When he pulled into the driveway, he walked to the doorway with me. Charlie came out of the house, and closed the door behind him, probably to hide the mess.

"Thanks for bringing her back, Doc. I don't know what she was thinking." He said, giving a faux sigh.

"I think she is just going through a lot right now, so I think you should cut her a little slack." Carlisle said.

"Yeah, I know. But can't be too soft, or else teenagers will walk all over you." He said, giving a friendly looking smile to Carlisle.

"Right. Well," Carlisle turned to me. "Behave, alright? You are always welcome back, as long as you have permission, alright?" He said, searching me with his eyes.

"Thank you." I said quietly, though my voice sounded dead to my own ears.

Carlisle nodded, and left.

Once he had pulled out, Charlie opens the door, and I walk into the house, sighing quietly for the inevitable.

"Heh, thought you could play house with the Cullens, huh? Remember, I own you, all I have to do is say the word. You can't avoid me forever." He grins, looking proud of himself.

I just stand there quietly, before sighing, and looking at the floor. "Is there a reason you needed me back right now? Or was it just part of your power trip?" I asked, knowing I was going to piss him off, but not caring. I may have just lost the most important person in my life.

"Well, you know what, I am in a good mood, so I won't take that as the disrespect it is." He says with a grin.

My stomach turned. If h was in a good mood, and it involved me, it really couldn't be good.

"You see, I was just offered two hundred bucks by this guy named James. See, I caught him trafficking drugs, but he piqued my interests. Apparently he has a thing for you, and is willing to pay me good money to have you every once in awhile."

I felt my face pale, and my stomach drop.

"I don't know why I never thought of it before. You could finally earn your fucking keep, and I would rake in the dough." He said with a laugh.

Immediately, I turned on my heel, about to run for it, when he grabbed me, and slammed me into the floor, pinning me down.

"Silly Bella, you think you are going to get away? James is going to be over shortly." He said with a grin, before he kicked me hard in the ribs. I felt the bones break again, and I started coughing from the pain. Before I could get ahold of myself, he had me by the hair, and was dragging me towards the garage. I struggled, but it was for nothing.

He hit me a few times before managing to tie me up again, this time, on the beam again, but with my legs tied painfully apart in a split position, being held up by a rope each on the beam.

"He will be here shortly. Have fun." He said with a disgusting grin, before leaving the garage, leaving me there.

I tried with everything in me to get out of it, but I couldn't, and before I knew it, James was walking into the garage, looking like a kid at Christmas.

"Heh, this is fitting isn't it? Wouldn't let me before when I was trying to help you out, now I get to kill two birds with one stone. Revenge on you, and on Edward." He grins.

"What the hell do you mean, on Edward?" I asked, trying to stop the panic attack coming on as he approached.

"Oh, for jumping me at that party last night." He said grinning, and pointing to his black eye. "I was planning on just claiming what was mine, but now that I think about it, when he finds out, he will be fucking destroyed, wont he? He has quite the thing for you." He says conversationally.

"He won't find out." I said quietly, narrowing my eyes.

"You mean, he doesn't know already? Well then, how about this, you play nice, and I won't tell Edward what a slut you are. I have a camera with me, so trust me, I can show him." He says with a grin.

I swallow the bile rising in my throat, before I nod quietly, that would destroy him, he was right.

"Good, then we have an understanding." He said, before approaching me. The moment he touches me, I am flooded with images, and I can't breathe. I feel a slap to my face tear me out of my panic attack, but I still can't breathe.

As he assaults me, the panic attacks only last so long, before it becomes like with Charlie, where I automatically stay lucid, I was starting to think it was a weird survival mode. I tried to think of the why's at first, to keep my mind occupied, before that ran dry. He wasn't gentle, and he didn't keep it quick like Charlie. Soon I was having to think of other things, more song lyrics, and books as he got rougher, to try to block it out.

Finally, after what seemed like eternity, Charlie came in, and gave James an assessing look. "Time's up. If you want more time, it will be more money." He said.

"I'll be back." James says to me with a wink, as he walks out with Charlie, leaving me up there. I couldn't feel my feet anymore, and the rest of my body was in excruciating pain from the position I was tied in, and how rough he was. I was sure it had been hours.

I felt disconnected as I started vomiting all over the floor, before passing out.

I wake up later, briefly, and see Charlie there having his own way before I black out again, not having the strength to stay lucid anymore.

The next time I wake up, I am still tied up, but its dark out, and I am alone. I am covered in new bruises and injuries that I don't remember getting. I am not even sure if I was really asleep, or just blacked out.

"Bella, You're a fucking slut, I can't believe you let them do that to you." I heard a velvety voice say, before I spun my head around weakly for the source, feeling the words cut through me. However, as I look around, I don't see him anywhere.

"Edward?" I ask, but my voice echoes weakly throughout the garage. I was alone.

"You got your mother, in a whirl, not sure…" I squeezed my eyes shut. "Not sure if you're a boy or a girl." I whispered to myself, trying to force the onslaught of images that were trying to break in. I was trying to stay okay, but I was sure I was losing it.

"Rebel Rebel, you tore your dress."

After what seemed like forever, Charlie came out, and let me down. The moment my feet touched the ground, I collapsed, and he kicked me. "Go get ready for school." He said with a grin.

After a few minutes, I was able to get up, and I mechanically made my way inside. Before I knew it, I was in the shower, scrubbing to the point where I was bloody, my fingernails scrubbing more than the wash cloth. I didn't stop though. I couldn't think straight, all I could see was mixtures of images from Charlie, and James, and mom, with hints of reality poking through. I sat on the tub, the water running cold, rocking, trying to get the images out as I scrubbed. "Rebel Rebel, Today I don't feel like doing anything, so leave a message at the tone, young man, there's no need to feel down, I said young man."

I could barely register the banging on the door, as I sat there.

A moment later, I felt hands prying my hands away from myself, and then wrapping around me.

"Bella, come back to me." I heard a velvety voice say as the smell of Edward filled my nose, and I felt my cheek rest against his hard chest.

Finally, everything started coming back into focus, reality was crashing down around me, and I couldn't breathe again, no air was coming in, and I was shaking with sobs as Edward rocked me back and forth, holding my naked body to him under the cold water of the shower.

It seemed like hours had passed by the time he finally picked me up, and pulled me out of the shower, turning it off. He set me down gently, but the moment he tried to let go, my legs buckled, and he caught me.

With one arm holding me up, he used the other to grab a towel to wrap around me, before guiding me to my room. I felt sick, and everything was still hazy.

He sat down with me on my bed. I knew I should have been ashamed that he was seeing me naked ,or at least embarrassed, but nothing was registering. I didn't even realize I was shivering until he pulled the blankets from my bed, and wrapped them tightly around me.

"Bella" he said, and I looked at him. He looked worried, and I got the impression he had called my attention a few times before that.

"What happened, Bella? You seemed fine the day before yesterday when you left." He said, his voice cracking.

I opened my mouth to speak, but the words wouldn't come, the mere thought of speaking them, made me nauseous, and I quickly reached for the waste basket by my bed, and heaved the stomach acid into it, having nothing else in my stomach.

I didn't even know why this was effecting me so much more, it wasn't much worse than others, maybe it was just the final straw.

"Shit.. shit.." Edward said, standing up and pacing, running a hand through his hair. "I'll be right back. I have to go grab something.

The moment he is out the door, I feel the onslaught of images assault my mind again.

"Bella, stop it, your hurting yourself." He whispers, as he pulls his hands off my arms again, I wasn't aware I was doing it. I didn't even remember him coming back.

"You are going to be pissed… Please, I hope you are pissed, because that will show your still there, but I can't do this alone, and neither can you. I called Carlisle. He's on his way." He said quietly.

I could barely even make sense of the words he was saying. It took too long for me to piece together one piece of information. "Carlisle.. is coming here?" I asked, my voice raw.

"Yeah. Bella… I don't know what's fucking happening right now, and.. I don't want to fucking lose you." He pleads, firmly holding my hands in his lap.

Suddenly, I was terrified. Charlie would find out that they knew, and they would be killed.

"Bella, Calm down! Please! Just fucking calm down!" He begs, and I am suddenly aware that I was hyperventilating again, no air getting in.

**_EPOV_**

I had spent the whole weekend just trying to sort my thoughts. At first, I thought that maybe this was it, that I wouldn't be able to handle it, that I needed to get away. However, I knew it was impossible. I would do anything for that fucking girl.

I didn't go to her house, because I didn't want to get her into more trouble, but I figured I would pick her up Monday morning to make sure she was okay, and to make sure she knew I wasn't ditching. I was sure she thought that Saturday, and honestly, I considered it.

However, when I got to her house, and an hour passed of me honking, and knocking on her door, I started getting really fucking nervous. The Chief wasn't home, so I let myself in.

All I could hear was the shower running from upstairs. I called out to her, but never got a response.

I slowly went up to the shower, and knocked. "Bella, Are you going to school? I'm here to pick you up… We're late." I said, thinking maybe she just woke up late, and by some oddity just didn't know I was there. Then I heard it, the sobs, and the jumbled lyrics of songs I knew she had been using to repress shit, along with one I hadn't heard, Rebel Rebel.

I started knocking on the door. "Bella, Let me in!" and when I got no response, I started thinking the worst.

I rammed my shoulder into the door several times until the door flew open. She didn't even flinch. She was curled in a ball on the floor of the shower, her lips blue, and her skin covered with innumerable bruises and cuts. Her skin was rubbed raw, and her arms were bleeding where her fingernails were digging in. Then there were her eyes. They were so terrified, yet far away. I called her name several times, but she never answered.

I quickly went over to her, and pried her hands off of her arms, and wrapped my arms around her, getting into the fucking freezing cold shower, and just holding her.

"Bella, are you okay? " I Asked, knowing she wasn't. She had never been less okay, she still wasn't responding, but she seemed to be calming down a little.

"Bella, come back to me." I begged her, and I saw the faraway look go away for the most part, and she leaned her cheek against me quietly, but sat there, shaking and sobbing.

It was another half an hour until I was sure she was even calm enough to be moved at all. Then I turned off he shower, and helped her out. The moment I placed her on her feet however, she collapsed, apparently being completely out of strength. I grabbed a towel with one arm, and wrapped it around her, before bringing her to her bedroom, and sitting her down.

She was shivering hard, and I wondered then how long she had been in that shower. I quickly pull the blankets off of her bed, and wrap them tightly around her.

"Bella, what happened? " I asked, and was met with silence. I looked at her again, and it was like she didn't hear me. "Bella?" I waved a hand in front of her face. "Bella?"

She then looked at me, that lost look in her eye. She was scaring the shit out of me. I was already afraid I had lost her.

"What happened, Bella? You seemed fine the day before yesterday when you left." I asked, hearing my voice crack.

She opened her mouth, but she didn't say anything, then a panicked expressions crossed her features, and she was reaching for the trash bin. Suddenly, she was throwing up pure bile into it, until she was dry heaving. I rubbed her back, but I was completely horrified. This wasn't Bella. She never let shit effect her. She was strong. This Bella was completely different from who I saw just the day before yesterday. This Bella was fucking broken.

I had to find a way to fix her, I could see that she would be lost if I didn't do something, but I didn't know what. She wasn't going to survive, at all. "Shit, Shit…" I said as I Ran my hand through my hair, completely panicked. "I have to go grab something, I will be right back." I told her, not even sure if she could hear me. I went out as quickly as I could to my car, and grabbed my cellphone. I didn't want to leave her alone by herself, so I made the call quick.

"Edward? Why aren't you at school?" Carlisle asked as he picked up.

"I need you to come to Bella's house. I don't know what to do. I think she's…. I don't know… I think she's losing it. I should have come to you sooner, but she didn't want me to, because she doesn't want to drag you guys into it. Please."

"Calm down Edward. What is going on?"

"I can't tell you, But if you come, you will see for yourself." I said. "Hurry."

"I am on my way." Carlisle said before hanging up.

I went quickly back upstairs, and in just the short amount of time I was gone, Bella had ended up curled up in a ball again, hyperventilating, with that far away look back in her eyes. Her fingernails were back into her arms, and she was hyperventilating. I could see her pale lips turning more blue from not getting oxygen.

"Bella, Stop it, you're hurting yourself." I said as I quickly went over, and pulled her hands off of her, and held them firmly in my lap.

"You are going to be pissed… Please, I hope you are pissed, because that will show your still there, but I can't do this alone, and neither can you. I called Carlisle. He's on his way." I said, as I firmly held her hands.

"Carlisle…. Is coming here?" She said, and the relief I felt that she was at least somewhat with it was tangible.

"Yeah. Bella… I don't know what's fucking happening right now, and.. I don't want to fucking lose you." I explained, hoping she understands.

As the thought seems to click, she looks at me in panic, then I see her going into another panic attack, the hyperventilating getting worse. I take her in my arms, trying to keep her together, but I don't know what to do.

"Bella, Calm down! Please! Just fucking calm down!" I beg her, terrified. I had never seen her like this… or anyone like this.

Carlisle walks in the room just then, a shocked expression on his face. , he then immediately puts a needle in her arm. After a moment, she stills in my arms, her breathing returning to normal.

"Edward, I need some answers, now. What the hell is going on?" Carlisle asks, looking apprehensive and genuinely scared for her.

"I don't know all the details.. but it's her dad."

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